Bud (No Wiser) Doubles Down on Stupid

Be sure to Click LIKE at the bottom of this article, and share it everywhere!! By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots – Commentary

Well, here we are, a scant two weeks since I penned the commentary, “Drunk On Woke, Bud Goes Broke” and it’s already time for an update.

To refresh your memory like an ice-cold Miller Lite, Anheuser Busch hired what I referred to as “woke liberal arts major who has been indoctrinated most likely throughout her government “education” and certainly at some asylum of higher indoctrination,” by the name of Alissa Heinerscheid as their VP of Marketing, and in her bubble of wokeness, she decided that the way to attract what she called a younger demographic was to ““to evolve and elevate this incredibly iconic brand,” by partnering with Dylan Mulvaney, a dude pretending to be a woman.

Mulvaney is a “social media influencer” which is a fancy term for an abject moron.

Putting a finer point on it, the new woke marketing campaign for Bud Light was launched on April 1st. That’s correct, a fool of a marketing VP launched THE most foolish campaign featuring a fool’s fool on April Fool’s Day, but it wasn’t a prank. It was as real as a fake woman can be and the resulting uproar immediately started tanking the brand.

In just two short weeks, Bud Light and Anheuser Busch LOST better than five BILLION dollars in market share, and the tanking had just begun.

According to Red State, “The latest sales data from NielsenIQ and Bump Williams Consulting shows that Bud Light sales fell 17% in dollars, while volume dropped a whopping 21% in the week ending April 15.”

Those numbers are more staggering than a bar fly on a binder and adding insult to self-inflicted injury, Miller Lite and Coors Light saw their numbers INCREASE by 18 percent over the same time frame. Using real math as opposed to common core, adding the fall of Bud Light and the rise of Miller Lite and Coors Light together, that’s a market shift of nearly 40 percent…AWAY from Bud Light’s favor.

Beer drinkers tend to be rather biased in their tastes, and it takes something seismic to budge them off their preferred brand, but woke VP of marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid managed to cause an 8.0 quake along the San Anheuser fault line. Naturally, the company hastely threw together a new commercial, most likely out of stock footage left on the cutting room floor from other old commercials and tried to regain control with a patriotic add.

It didn’t work. Resorting to the tried and true Budweiser Clydesdales was no match for the destruction of the Bud Light brand wrought by going woke, and former Bud Light consumers immediately called Clydesdale crap on the attempt. Turns out beer drinkers aren’t just finicky when it comes to their brand of choice, they also don’t much care for being transparently pandered too either. Maybe, just maybe Anheuser Busch should have STARTED with that commercial, not resorted to it.

Alissa Heinerscheid had one job…get more people to drink Bud Light. In that effort she managed to appeal to less than one percent of the American population…that’s the less than one percent of Americans suffering from the mental illness of gender dysphoria while at the same time, pissing off the vast majority of their already established customers.

Look…I’m no VP of marketing, but what I would have done is something called “market analysis” and identified who my core consumer was. Doing that, I would have probably discovered that the core Bud Light drinker was male, between the age of 25-54 years old, more rural than urban, more blue than white collar and most likely a sports fan.

Given that, if I wanted to attract more customers, I would look at where the demographics have holes and find ways to attract more white collars, more females,  and more urban consumers without turning your company’s back on the consumers you already have. What I WOULDN’T do is pander to social media morons that represent less than one percent of the entire population of our country.

Trust me…this isn’t rocket science.

To attract more customers from a wider demographic, I would create ads that highlight the brand in various settings, and a wider variety of events than just sports, and I would show a broader demographic of people consuming the product. While I would NOT hire a “social media influencer” I certainly wouldn’t ignore social media and I would use the platforms to put the brand in front of a younger adult audience.Trust me on this…what I’m proposing isn’t just for Bud Light…it’s aimed at the entire corporate world as a model going forward.

Given the plunge off the abyss by Bud Light over the past month, what has Anheuser Busch done in an attempt to bring their floundering beer barge back on course? Nearly everything wrong with one exception…they put their woke VP of marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid, and her boss, Daniel Blake on a leave of absence, and replaced them with Todd Allen, Budweiser’s vice president of global marketing. It’s important to note that their leaves of absence weren’t voluntary, and when they were immediately replaced, it is most likely permanent.

But then, Anseuser Busch did quite possibly something even dumber than hiring Heinerscheid in the first place. The company has hired a pair of consultants with experience in Washington, D.C.’s, conservative circles to advise the brand moving forward. Let me be clear on something here…more often than not, a “consultant” is a hole in your bottom line that you have to continually try to fill with money, but that is far from the end of this particular line of stupidity.

What got Bud Light into trouble, and what got Heinerscheid and Blake essentially fired was going woke along political lines because the boycott is undoubtedly was being fueled by Conservative consumerswho are sick and tired of having the woke liberal agenda foisted upon them, and now Anheuser Busch figures that the best way to right the ship is to become MORE political?

That’s just bone-crushingly dumb.

Making matters even worse is that a company based in St. Louis…in America’s heartland went to the DC swamp to find help? Seriously? First, the company pissed off one political demographic, and now the way to expand the brand is to piss off the other political demographic?

Here’s an idea for any company or corporation wanting to increase their market share…ignore the politics of the day, ignore social media trends, ignore special interest groups, ignore the least common denominator and focus on being apolitical. Our country is divided enough, and catering to various factions of special political interests only deepens the divide. How about trying to market your products in a way that ignores what divides us and shows that your products appeal to everyone?

Unless your product is aimed at a niche market don’t engage in niche marketing. If your product is Depends, by all means, market directly to people who inadvertently poop themselves in public. In such a case, you can ignore the overwhelming vast majority of Americans who don’t have the problem, and perhaps your spokesman could be Joe Biden, but if you are a beer company, and the last time I checked, Anheuser Busch IS a beer company, niche, special interest group marketing plans are nothing but pure poison unless that’s exactly what you’re going for.

Such a beer company is Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right Beer, which began operations just days after, and as a direct response to Bud Light’s woke campaign. Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right Beer has only been in existence for three weeks, and they’ve already raked in better than one MILLION dollars in sales, and most of that has been to FORMER Bud Light consumers. How pissed off are FORMER Bud Light Drinkers? Well, a twelve pack of Bud Light sells for $19.99 on average, while a six pack of Conservative Dad’s sells for $19.99. That means FORMER Bud Light drinkers are willing to pay TWICE as much to stick it to Anheuser Busch.

It really doesn’t matter what you’re trying to sell…cars, beer, vacuum cleaners, pancake syrup or rice…knock it the hell off with trying to appease unibrow, nose-picking woke invertebrates. People are different. People have different ideas, different opinions and different slants but if your company wants to make money, find ways to make sure that people whose opinions differ can find common ground with your product. It’s really not that hard.

Bud Light needs to stay far, FAR away from political theater in their advertising. I know people of all stripes, all colors, all political ideologies, all income levels both straight and gay who enjoy a good adult beverage, and contrary to what the FORMER VP of marketing thought, HUMOR has always been a key component of Bud Light advertising.

Here’s an idea. It’s going to cost Anheuser Busch about 10 million bucks, but what’s another 10 million to a company who just shot a 5 BILLION dollar hole in their own foot? Give $5 million bucks to Chris Rock, and another $5 million bucks to Will Smith and have Rock, flanked by a couple of security guards answer the doorbell only to find Smith standing on his front porch. As the big security guards start to shield Rock, Rock says, “You ain’t gonna hit me again are ya?” to which Smith holds up a case of Bud Light as says, “Dude, I am SO sorry. Peace offering?” Rock tells his security guards to relax, it’s okay and the commercial ends with the two actors enjoying a beer between friends.

How Bill Shatner and Sir Patrick Stewart in a bar full of every sort of strange looking person you can imagine, arguing about who was the best Star Ship Captain, who faced the worst enemy, and who crashed more Enterprises when they ask the replicator for two Bud Lights, and as they take them from the machine, they realize that neither of them has a bottle opener…at which point Mark Hamill swings a light saber, you hear two bottle caps pop off and Hamill  says, “They’ll let ANYBODY into this Cantina.” Stewart says, “Your ship was infested with gerbils, and Shatner says, “Tribbles…they were Tribbles.”

You get the idea, and there are any numbers of ways to show Bud Light bringing people together. A blue collar dad and his white collar daughter sharing a moment over a beer. A beach party with Bud Light, a campfire with Bud Light,  a guy with a Tesla parked on the side of a road and a woman with a generator having a bud light…but don’t make a pandering fake apology commercial because nobody is buying something that obviously condescending.

To any company or corporation out there toying with the notion of moving to woke marketing, the bottom line is literally your bottom line. “Go Woke, Go Broke” isn’t just a bumper sticker, it’s a fact. Quit Mickey Mousing around trying to appease virtue-signaling woke nonsense peddlers who only pretend to be offended on other people’s behalf and focus on the bigger picture if you want to increase your market share.

Are you listening Disney?

Copyright © 2021 Craig Andresen / thenationalpatriot.com all rights reserved

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For more political commentary please visit my RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS partner Diane Sori’s blog The Patriot Factor to read her latest article Standing With Tucker Carlson

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Tomorrow, Tuesday, April 25tth, from 7-8:30pm EST, RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS Craig Andresen and Diane Sori discuss ‘Standing With Tucker Carlson’; ‘Bud (No Wiser) Doubles Down on Stupid’; and important news of the day. Hope you can tune in to RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS on https://rspradio1.com. Click ‘LISTEN LIVE’ starting at 6:50 pm EST with show beginning at 7pm EST.

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