Be sure to Click LIKE at the bottom of this article, and share it everywhere!! By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots – Commentary

Like most people, a good deal of what I have ever known regarding the CIA comes from how they’re depicted in movies and on television. Unlike a good number of people, I know there’s lots more to it that what we see on screen.

The CIA has always been this great country’s most dangerous covert weapon in real life. They have always operated in the shadows of some of the seediest places on earth, and in some of the most glamorous places one can imagine.

Let’s be honest here and admit that nobody really knows what goes on between the inner sanctum of Langley, and those places both seedy and glamorous, and that’s probably for the best but we do have certain expectations of those who work for the agency.

We expect them to gather Intel from our nation’s adversaries, we expect them to be covert while doing so, we expect them to have “friends” in some very low places, and we damn well expect them to be able to keep a secret. We expect those who work for the CIA to be stealthy, be unnoticed, and be unafraid and to have their heads screwed on straight. We expect those who work for the CIA to be bold when necessary, be seductive when necessary, be calm when necessary, be violent when necessary, and to be able to kill the enemy with a Kleenex…when necessary.

We also expect that there are people with certain skills beating down the doors at Langley trying to get a job, but apparently, that’s not the case.

In fact, the CIA is now advertising on YouTube looking for recruits.

Not just any recruits.

Recruits that meet a certain criteria and probably not the criteria you’re thinking of.

They need to be “woke.”

That’s right…the CIA is looking for intersectional millennials who aren’t afraid of airing their personal laundry to the world, admitting their insecurities and broadcasting their job titles to the world.

Welcome to the new touchy-feely CIA which has also dropped the word “the” from their vernacular as though it were a pronoun on Birthing People’s day, formally known as Mother’s Day.

Let me put it this way…

Four years ago, if you were curled up in the fetal position in a college campus safe space with a coloring book, some Crayons, a bottle of bubbles and a therapy puppy…today’s CIA wants YOU!!!

Let’s start with the CIA Librarian. First of all, I had no idea in this day and age that the CIA had a library given the extent of the internet and the dark web, but they do, and they’ve got a CIA librarian.

If this guy had started his career as a gay librarian in a prison, I’d probably have more confidence in his abilities when the going gets tough, but he started his career in the profession as a middle school librarian, and while I’m sure that dealing with kids at the onset of puberty provides a certain set of skills, I’m not so sure it qualifies one to work for CIA without the “the.” The librarian for CIA tells the world that he grew up gay in a small southern town so as to reassure others that CIA without the “the” is far more accepting than a Piggly Wiggly supermarket.

Notice that he refers to libraries as safe spaces.

Perhaps THE most unsettling part of the “Humans of CIA” video featuring the librarian is how proud he is of bringing “carefully selected” games into the library so that clandestine, covert and very dangerous people can put little colored pegs into little holes.

Apparently, they’ve run out of bottles of bubbles.

Next up in the “Humans of CIA” series is a “Cisgender Millennial” who claims to be “perfectly made,” and then goes on to explain that she’s suffering from “generalized anxiety disorder” and has also struggled with “imposter syndrome.”

Yep, she’s all that AND she’s not a box-checker. Good to know.

Next up, we meet the CIA receptionist who is shown wearing a pro gay sweatshirt while strolling the grounds at Langley with her seeing eye dog.

During her “Humans of CIA” recruiting video, she admits to having once been so low on self-esteem that she didn’t want to apply for the job out of fear of rejection. Look lady – I don’t give a rat’s ass that you’re blind. That’s just a thing, but if you’re such a delicate flower that you wilt at the suggestion of rejection, maybe CIA without the “the” isn’t the place for you.

Forget “Humans of CIA “ – I’d feel better at this point if the recruitment series was titled, “Service Animals of CIA” because I’m willing to bet the dog is more emotionally stable than is the receptionist.

The woman in the previous video said that she “didn’t sneak into the CIA,” and you’ll forgive me if this seems a bit crass, but she probably could have considering the “Hi – Welcome to CIA, hope you’re having an intersectional day how can I help you” receptionist is blind.

Finally, we have this “Humans of CIA” recruiting video in which the woman tells us how she parlayed a gig as a polygraph examiner into working as part of the Director’s Protection Staff.

One has to wonder if the CIA Director is aware that as part of the Protection Staff there is a former polygraph examiner who is, in fact, a liar. That’s right…a LIAR. In her video, she claims that as a part of being a DPS Agent, she works “24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” That is either a complete lie, or as a Special Agent for CIA, she is potentially DANGEROUSLY sleep deprived…AND SHE’S ARMED!!!

What’s more, she admits that she has NOT been able to find a balance between her work and personal life, which means that while protecting the CIA Director, and while sleep deprived and armed, she’s conflicted.

There are other videos in the “Humans of CIA” recruiting series, and they’re equally as squishy as those you’ve already seen, but obviously, there’s more to being part of Team CIA than being a super double top secret covert field agent traveling the world and dispatching of international bad actors, but holy crap, has it really come to THIS? Has the CIA gone completely wimpy, weak in the knees and fully “woke?”

At this rate, how much longer can we count on the most dangerous agency our country has to offer keeping our nation safe from those who really want us all dead?

If the idea is to have everyone who works at the CIA in any capacity be box checking emotional wrecks, it’s only a matter of time before agency assassins are asking a target’s permission to kill them, and apologizing for offending rogue nations for the intrusion of infiltrating their ranks to garner information necessary to keep our country, and our allies safe.

The LAST thing we need is a wishy-washy intel agency sprinkling pixie dust and fanning away unicorn farts so as to make our enemies feel better about themselves while they proceed to obliterate us. I mean, can you even imagine a CIA agent telling Ahmed the Iranian terrorist, “I know you had a questionable childhood, growing up in uncertain times after your mother blew herself to bits making bombs for Hamas, allah rest her soul, but would you mind terribly not planting a dirty bomb in Los Angeles? We fear it would lead to global warming, and could interfere with our issuing voter registrations to illegal aliens.”

“Perhaps you might be interested in coming to work for us at the CIA. I’m sure we have jobs suited for someone like you, and we do have a 72 virgin pension plan that’s to die for.”

So, how bad is it at Langley these days? Well, just a couple of weeks ago, some twit tried to drive into CIA headquarters in Langley when he was stopped at the gate. CIA security guards tried to negotiate with the twit which led to a standoff. Finally, as the negations were going nowhere, shots were fired and the twit was taken to the hospital.

That’s right, shots were fired, NOT by the CIA but by the FBI because apparently, the CIA is all talk and no action.

Turned out that it appeared the twit was mentally disturbed.

I don’t know about you, but given the whole “Humans of CIA” recruitment video series, I’m guessing the “mentally disturbed” and now perforated twit was probably there for a job interview trying to become the head of the “Humans of CIA Resources Department.”

Too bad really. Had the guy been a transgendered, one legged, lactose-intolerant bed-wetter with mommy issues and an over-whelming desire to marry a syphilitic platypus that self-identified as Buick…he would have been at the top of the list to become the next Director of CIA.

You’d have to be their receptionist not to see that our nation’s premier intel agency is going to hell in a hemp handbag.

Copyright © 2021 Craig Andresen / thenationalpatriot.com all rights reserved

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For more political commentary please visit my RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS partner Diane Sori’s blog The Patriot Factor to read her latest article Politics, Big Business, and a Possible “Miracle Drug”

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