That Ain’t Right!

In the South and amongst Rednecks everywhere there is a phrase for things and people who don’t make sense: That ain’t right!

And when it comes to politics and political figures, the phrase cannot be used often enough!

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Dog Eat Dog World

Dang it, just when I was trying to believe Obama believes he is an American, he goes and makes it harder to believe. That fool wrote in his book that he ate dog before when he lived in Indonesia. That’s downright wrong!

In the South, we love our dogs – but NOT on the barbecue! I ain’t gonna be putting Ol’ Red Spread on my Ritz Cracker neither – even if it has Cheeze Whiz on it!

But I gotta admit, everybody is having a good time pokin’ fun at the whole mess.

David Burge:  Bichon Appetit!

And some real doozies from my friends (Shannon, Alan, and more):

“Hey Obama, you think fluffy was tough? You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet! Eat this… I double dog dare you!”

Greyhounds: the original fast food.

Obama thinks it is wrong to put a dog in crate on top of the car. Must be cuz it dries the meat out.

Better in a crate than on a plate.

From the makers of Hamburger Helper comes Dog Helper:  Poodles and Noodles flavor.

Campbells Soup:  Chicken Poodle Soup

Spitz on a Spit

Weimaraner Weiners

Yo Quiero Paco Taco

Dachshund Donuts

Chihuahua Cheetos

Rover Ragout

Spitz on a Ritz

Bo Knows BBQ

Rover Ramen

Bloodhound Blood Sausage

Finger Lickin’ Good Fifi

Doberman Pinscher Pasta

German Shepherd’s Pie

Puppy Chow Chow

Dinner’s more fun when you hit Rover on the run.

Do you stuff ’em with Kibbles N Bits instead of corn bread at Thanksgiving?

I guess when Obama says “huntin’ dog,” he means it! By the way, how do you field dress your dog?

Well, seems like a big ol’ waste to me…We’d be a whole lot more interested in whether er not he’s ever bit inta a rack o’ PigCicles!!!

And more than that . . . It Ain’t RIGHT!

He’s Not Only a Member of the Eyebrow Club for Men…

What in tarnation is going on here?!?!  Did somebody leave the map to the still out for gramps to get into the moonshine again? That there is the only reasonable explanation for a grown man to glue on fake eyebrows as far as I can reckon.

Marshall Applewhite or Ron Paul?

And as if it weren’t bad enough already the ol’ fool looks like that Heaven’s Gate lunatic. But then again, I ain’t seed no big difference tween the Gaters and the Ronulans – cult followers for sure!

There’s only one cure for this kinda foolishness. Pa, hitch up the wagon – we gotta drag his saggy britches to the crick for a good ol’ timey baptism. I see the preacher needs to hold him under until he sees the light and sobers up! Then let’s take a switch to the younguns who worship this ol’ goat!

I don’t care how you slice it, THAT AIN’T RIGHT!





Another wRONg Paul Fan Acts Teched in the Head!












Okay, I ain’t memorized the Constitution… but I think this feller is a few flies short of an outhouse!

You know, we get liquored up from time to time, and maybe get a little rowdy and tip cows – but I ain’t never heared no crazy rant like this out of a good ol’ boy, know what I mean?

And if this feller is trying to convert these fine officers of the law, he messed that up, too!  In fact, if I were that Ron Paul, I would pay this fool to campaign for another candidate… any candidate… just leave his name out of it…

Don’t this fool have no shame?  I bet his kin have disowned his hide after this public display! And gettin’ yer pitcher made while you’re doing it! Lord Almighty,

That ain’t right!


Where’s Waldo?

I admit, I ain’t the snappiest dresser – but what happened here?

Is Waldo now Michelle’s style director?

Or is she taking a another swing at our beloved Ronald McDonald and his delicious deep fried food?

One thing I know for sure – that black heart on that shirt don’t make me feel to warm and fuzzy.

Even I know at an official event, you gotta where your Sunday go-to-meeting clothes. I guess yours was in the laundry or something. If I was you, I would’ve pretended I had a headache instead of look like that in public.

What happened to First Ladies who didn’t buy their clothes off the rack at Target trying to prove they is regular people when EVERYBODY knows different? You must be taking us for fools.

Here’s a style hint: Talk to Mrs. Bush, Mrs. Bush, or Mrs. Reagan. Them fine ladies knew how to act and dress in public when they represented my United States!

Maybe you think these are good enough duds to represent my nation.  I assure you, my kin dresses nicer than that when we go downtown.

I don’t know much, but I KNOW that ain’t right!

I Ain’t Readin’ NUTHIN After that Headline!

Why is the government trying to find peace with Mothers I’d Like to Friend? (I had to ask one of my younger kinfolk what a MILF was and there was some talk about American Pie – I guess that’s the new fangled term for good ol’ apple pie; nuthin more American than that)

Are the PTAs rioting or something? Are they taking up too much room in the lounge of the bowling alley? Are they having a bake sale without a permit?? Occupying a Beauty Salon?

Lord help us all. And I bet them folks at PETA are going to get all up in arms over the Cougar negotiations, too. Why can’t folks mind their own bee’s wax?

I don’t care how you slice it…



One Ringy, One Dingy….

Okay, I am a big fan of Laugh In – that show was funny! I loved Ernestine the Operator, with her one ringy dingy, two ringy dingies…

And it is true that I think Biden is a joke… and dingy… but I ain’t laughing…

I also know he is not above plagiarizing…

So is he trying to copy somebody else again?  Sorry, son… it ain’t working for me…

In fact, that just ain’t right!



PBS Is Public BS…

I never did trust them folks at PBS – taking our tax dollars so a bunch of puppets can infiltrate our TVs…

Who in tarnation thought it was a good idea to take money from me and mine to fund these oversized toys? Is their programming so bad that they have to rob me to produce it? Tell ya what, you bunch of hippies, get your money from the wealthy liberals who keep whinin’ they’re not paying enough…

And wouldn’t you know, those fuzzy pinkos have been spotted making trouble in Libya and Oscar the Grouch is hiding Gadaffi…

And what do you wanna bet Cookie Monster is going to claim he was a hostage and suffering some liberal disease like Stockholm Syndrome or use the Twinkie Defense IF he is captured…

As if this wasn’t enough to put a bee in my bonnet, Big Bird is leading the Occupy Sesame Street movement… doing untold damage to taxpayer-funded neighborhoods and setting a bad example for the kids…

Bert got arrested for taking a whiz in a school bus full of 3rd graders to demonstrate how he feels about good ol’ American capitalism… How quickly this spongehead forgot who pays his paycheck!

And if them younguns are liberals, then they will probably say they’re scarred for life and need to be supported.

I don’t even want to know what Elmo tickled in public – but I do know there was a trenchcoat involved…

Too bad for Grover – besides having a voice akin to a fingernail on a chalkboard, he is as Blue as the most liberal state in the country… Maybe he shouldn’t have screamed “Death to all pigs and capitalists” at the cops…

Now don’t go all weepy about these celebrities going to jail… I am sure George Soros will bail them out and Eric Holder will REFUSE to prosecute…

They’re lucky they are in liberal land, too – we don’t put up with that kinda crap arround here – I am proud to say we even ran off them Westboro weirdos recently…

Well, I don’t know much – but I sure know these Muppets…

…Just Ain’t Right!

What Kinda Liberal Perversion Is This?

Hey, Biden, take your Brokeback Mountain tomfoolery somewhere else, would ya?

Just look at the discomfort and contempt on the faces of the other fellas in the photo… and I don’t think it’s cuz their jealous…

In fact, they probably want to whip the tar outta you…

I wonder if you got charged with assault with a friendly weapon…

Around these parts, we know to keep our hands to ourselves… especially when you know the other guy probably has a weapon and will probably never vote for you, Mr. Grabby….

Pa, go fetch another switch… then again, this perv just might like that…

I’ll tell you what…

That just ain’t right!!





Why Is There Always One Guy Who Ruins the Group Photo?

Have you ever noticed it is always the kid in the middle with big ears who does something to ruin the group photo? We all expect it. But we don’t expect it from world leaders.


According to Hot Air, which picked this as their Obamateurism of the Day (for two days running now, Sept. 21-22):

MSNBC’s Rich Shulman quipped that “I don’t know much about diplomatic protocols, but I would guess that waving during the group photo is something to avoid.”  From this photo, it looks like 29 out of 30 global leaders agree.

And whose face is he blocking? What nation was this world leader representing? If they were our friends before, they probably aren’t anymore…

Pa, fetch another switch – somebody needs a whooping for acting a fool in public – again.

That Just Ain’t Right!

Why Are They Talking About Size??

What were they thinking when they wrote this headline? There is nothing remotely right about saying anyone is checking out Obama’s package – that is downright indecent!!

Sure liberals love talking this smut – but us conservative rednecks don’t like to talk about stuff like this unless we are liquored up and in a bar… and we sure wouldn’t be talkin’ about his package!

But I guess Debbie WhatsHerHyphenName is impressed and talking about it.  I can tell she never went to Sunday School… somebody needs to take a switch to her, haul her to the creek, and Baptize the filth out of her mind!

That girl ain’t right… I don’t care what he’s packin’…

I’m getting sick just thinkin’ about it…

Pa, get out the bleach and Brillo pad for my eyes…

Anyone can see….

That Just Ain’t Right!!!


That Ain’t Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!

I don’t know about you – but I don’t remember Dr. King looking like a stern authoritarian handing down edicts. I remember a warm, friendly man who saw the potential for good in all mankind and dreamed of a day when people of color were just PEOPLE.

So what the heck happened? Who commissioned this statue of Chairman Martin Luther Ching??? This statue looks threatening – be equal, or else!!

And Dr. King was an American – so what jackwagon needs to be whooped for commissioning the work to be done in China by a Chinese artist who is known for his Chairman Mao art… yeah, that’s the man for the job!!!

Then, they brought in a whole bunch of foreigners to set it up…

Hey, maybe that’s why Dr. King is scowling now – anyone can see…

That ain’t right!!

Other than THAT Mrs. Lincoln…

Okay, that’s funny because…

That ain’t right!!!

Cry Havoc and Unleash the Goats of War!

There are those who fear the riots in London will soon spill over into the United States of America. I say baloney! In fact, here in East Tennessee, perhaps I should say Fried Baloney!

We are not worried around these parts about hooligans. After centuries of running moonshine and decades of NASCAR, I would say we are ready! And we’re armed. Seriously armed. Even our critters are armed. We have American ingenuity and there is nothing that can’t be done with duct tape, WD-40, and gunpowder!

Beware our war goats! Look out for that IEC (improvised exploding chicken)! That’s right – we have fed our chickens gunpowder so even their eggs can be used as grenades! And look out for our frying-pan wielding women who have developed deadly aim from keeping their moonshine-guzzling men in line! And there’s nothing meaner than Pappy hungover with a big knot on his head and his shotgun in his lap sitting on the front porch.

What? What’s that you say? Speak up!…

…That Ain’t Right!

Keep Your Shirt On!

What is it with Democrats and their need to send racy photos over the Internet?

And why are they so slow to admit it is their own damn fault? Oh, that’s right! That would be taking personal responsibility – and they’re agin it!

According to the Daily Mail (United Kingdom):

A politician who emailed a woman nude photos of himself that were posted on a GOP activist’s website has resigned and said he will consider all legal options to have the pictures taken down.

New Jersey democrat Louis Magazzu, 53, admitted sending the photos to the woman he said he had been corresponding with online for several years.

He claims she requested the pictures but was working with an ‘avowed political enemy’ at the time and that he did not know.

In an email statement, the Cumberland County freeholder apologised to family, friends and constituents but indicated that he thought he was being set up.

He said he’s been separated from his wife for about two years.

The pictures appear to show Magazzu standing naked in front of a mirror photographing himself.

Anyone can see that just ain’t right!


Whoa Joe, Show What Ya Know

The National Patriot supposes the Astroturf, Angry Mob, Insane, Racists, Anarchists, Flash In the Pan and Unpatriotic labels just weren’t sticking…


This week, VP (Veritable Putz) Joe Biden, along with other liberal dipsticks labeled the Tea Party as…wait for it…Terrorists, Suicide Bombers and Jihadists.

This is the same bunch of yahoos who have for YEARS refused to label Terrorists, Suicide Bombers and Jihadists as Terrorists, Suicide Bombers and Jihadists.

Of course Joe tried to walk his statement back by issuing this release. “I never said that they were terrorists or weren’t terrorists.”

 That ain’t right!



Oregon Must be Proud!

Oregon Congressman David Wu has announced he will resign, after a debt deal is reached in response to allegations of misconduct involving an unwanted sexual encounter with the recently high school graduated daughter of a longtime friend. Wu has admitted to the encounter but it’s not the first time such an event has taken place with Wu. Back in 1976, he was accused of trying to force himself on an ex girlfriend who declined to press charges.

During his most recent campaign, several staffers became concerned enough over Wu’s erratic behavior and anger outbursts that they suggested he seek hospitalization for mental problems. Then, it happened.

On Oct. 30th when a photograph of Wu dressed in a bright orange tiger suit with a wide grin on his face was emailed to a female staffer at 1 in the morning from his congressional  account. Included was a message intended to make it SEEM like his daughter sent it. “You’re the best, but my Dad made me say that, even though you threatened to shut down his campaign,” it read. 30 minutes  later another email,  just as strange  supposedly from his son said “what he does when he’s wasted is send emails, not harass people he works with.” After his re-election campaign was over, six staffers resigned. (The caption at right was added by The National Patriot)

That ain’t right!


Well, that’s just Embarrassing.

This man occupies THE most powerful office in the WORLD. Obama is the voice of the world’s only remaining super power and commands the most powerful military on earth.

For God’s sake…GROW A PAIR!

That ain’t right!







Okay, this dickdork…Democrat made the news recently for sending pictures of his junk to women. In his case, it is especially poetic because his name is Anthony Weiner! That ain’t right!

It’s bad enough he could be the adult version of Beavis. Needless to say, the press and pundits had a field day with this title-tells-all politician – and we did, too:

  • “It’s good to keep a hard man down.” [actually Pat Paulsen said that about Hart – but it seems to work here, too.]
  • Weiner in Hot Water!
  • Face it NY, it’s time to kiss your Weiner bye bye.
  • Weiner Pulls Out… Barney Frank Disappointed
  • Peter Tweeter Fingered in in Sexting Probe
  • Woman Involved in Weiner Scandal to Take Him to Small Claims Court
  • One Less Weiner in Congress
  • Weiner Weeps!

 That ain’t right!


How’s That Again?

“Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) is afraid that the U.S. Territory of Guam is going to “tip over and capsize” due to overpopulation.

Johnson expressed his worries during a House Armed Services Committee hearing on the defense budget in 2010.

Addressing Adm. Robert Willard, who commands the Navy’s Pacific Fleet, Johnson made a tippy motion with his hands and said sternly, “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.”

 Hey, even we know that ain’t right!



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