I have been reminiscing lately, about my childhood, and I have come to the most startling conclusion. IT IS AN ABSOLUTE MIRICLE that I am alive today to reminisce about my childhood!
When I was a kid, the world around us was MUCH more dangerous than it is today.
A few days ago, while watching Elizabeth Warren at the convention, I decided the time was ripe to do something I had, for far too long, neglected.
I read the label on a bottle of recently purchased shampoo.
Along with all the directions, which can only be read with the use of an electron microscope, were the only words clearly visible from space…
“WARNING: FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY.”
My God given common sense has, so far, prevented me from drinking the shampoo.
As fascinating as I found Elizabeth Warren, I left the TV and headed for the bathroom where I started checking OTHER labels.
Did you know that your antiperspirant is ALSO for external use only?
Our hair dryer has a warning on IT too.
“WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM WATER – DANGER – DO NOT USE IN BATH OR SHOWER”
Set aside, for a moment, the shocking possibility of being electrocuted and consider…on the moron scale…where one would have to be to believe that, while in the shower, with the water running, one could get their hair dry.
Let’s face facts.