Archive for the ‘Snarky’ Category

FBI Can’t See the Forest for the Tree Huggers

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

fbi 1THE FBI DOMESTIC TERRORISM WATCH LIST IS OUT!!!

THE FBI DOMESTIC TERRORISM WATCH LIST IS OUT!!!

Yes, it’s that time of the year, just before the anniversary of 9/11, when the FBI’s list of domestic terror organizations comes out and lets us ALL know who the REAL trouble makers are.

Naturally, you all remember Ft. Hood and Nidal Hassan who was screaming “ALLAHU AKBAR” as he killed 13 and wounded 30 more. Yes, the same Nidal Hassan who now says he wants to join…ISIS.

Surely YOU all remember what happened at the Boston Marathon in 2013…where the brothers Tsarnaev detonated two bombs, killing three and wounding more than 200 more…all in the name of Allah’s “religion” of peace.

How about the Little Rock Recruiting Station shooting or the NYC subway plot or the Washingtron Metro bomb plot or any number of OTHER plots and attacks carried out by American Jihadis with their Islamic panties in a wadi that stretches all the way back to 1977???

Hello?

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Friday Fume

Friday, August 29th, 2014

fume 1Ahhhh…Another Friday.

We’ve reached the end of the week and the beginning of a 3 day weekend. I know you’re probably heading somewhere, to forget reality for a few days and, YOU, my Patriot friends deserve it.

LIBERALS on the other hand, are on a lifetime break from reality so THEY probably won’t even notive the long weekend.

Let’s ge5t it all started with a rather SNARKY look at the week that was. My friends and soon to be traveling Patriots…It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Okay…for all you liberals out there that think socialism is the GREATEST thing since the invention of BEAN SPROUTS AND BIRKENSTOCKS…allow me to explain to you the law of diminishing returns.

A few years ago…citing bogus claims of “GLOBAL WARMING…the Republik of Kalifornia decided to make gas companies put in a whole bunch of additives…to make gas burn cleaner…and before too long…they had THE most expensive gas in the nation.

Well…people didn’t like that and, giving how Kalifornians LOVE to drive their cars…they started buying cars that get better MILEAGE.

Better mileage…less gas. Less gas…falling revenues from GAS TAXES.

DOH!!! What’s a socialist state to DO when BIG government is put on a diet???

They started RAISING the gas tax to make up for the shortfall.

What did the PEOPLE do in response? THEY started buying gas/electric HYBRIDS so as to use LESS gas.

Less gas…less revenue…

AGAIN!!!

So now…with the nation’s HIGHEST price per gallon and the nation’s SECOND highest GAS TAX…The REPUBLIK of KALIFORNIA is AGAIN facing a revenue shortfall and what’s their solution???tax 1

JACK UP THE TAX ON A GALLON OF GO JUICE BY ANOTHER .15 CENTS PER GALLON as of January 1st!!!

Happy freakin’ new year.

It seems Kaiforrnia needs more money for GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS and the new tax will pour about $2 BILLION DOLLARS into the manure spreader but this new tax hike isn’t just going to hurt those who drive around for the fun of it.

Businesses that DELIVER the goods ALL KALIFORNIANS buy and going to have to raise THEIR prices to compensate and then what happens? THE STORES THAT SELL THAT STUFF TO CONSUMERS WILL RAISE THEIR PRICES TO COMPENSATE FOR THE EXTRA COST OF GETTING THAT STUFF TO THE STORES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Ummmm…using the law of diminishing returns…that means people will drive less and buy less because of the higher cost of both and…cities AND the state will see MORE declining tax revenues because of it all.

Here’s just a wild idea for liberals…CUT THE SIZE OF GOVERNMENT AND QUITE SPENDING TAX DOLLARS ON GOVERNMENT ENTITIES THAT THINK THEY HAVE TO SPEND MORE MONEY TO COMBAT THE…WEATHER!!!

Fuming.

TAX 2And speaking of the law of diminishing returns…

THERE BE LIBERAL IDIOTS LIVIN’ IN FERGUSON MISSOURI!!!!!

Get this why don’t ya?

The very LOOTERS and DESTROYERS of businesses IN Ferguson are now all PISSED OFF because…so many businesses in Ferguson got…LOOTED AND DESTROYED!!!

Helloooooooooooooo?

They’re saying that “SOMEBODY need to come in an FIX dat crap…REBUILD dem businesses so people don’t has to go all a couple of miles to get to da WALMART or to get GAS or der’s gonna be HELL ta pay!!!”

Oh, don’t take MY word for it…See for YOURSELF!!!

Did that last guy REALLY say that if the owners of the stores that were looted and destroyed didn’t give…GIVE jobs to the very people who looted and destroyed them…THE LOOTING AND DESTRUCTION WOULD CONTINUE???TAX 3

What we’re dealing with here people, are the Valedictorians from the graduating class of the LIBERAL ASYLUM OF ABJECT STUPIDITY!!!

THIS…ladies and gentlemen…is why LIBERALS open WELFARE OFFICES instead of EMPLOYMENT AGENCIES…because their CLIENTS keep BURNING THE EMPLOYMENT AGENCIES TO THE DAMN GROUND and then demanding they still find them a job.

And you KNOW that twerp Governor in Missouri…Ray Nixon…is thinking…”SCREW GLOBAL WARMING…ya know…if we jack up the gas tax in this state…WE’D BE MAKING A MINT OFF THE MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!!!”

I’m fuming.

TAX 4And finally…

If the first two topics in today’s Friday Fume can be used as a guide…THIS segment should come as no surprise…

The DICTATOR,  fresh off his 2 week vacation to MARTHA’S GOLF COURSE…is getting ready for a trip to…ESTONIA AND WALES because, apparently they TOO have GOLF COURSES and they both play a HUGE roll in FOREIGN AFFAIRS but…he’s also warming up his PEN to CIRCUMVENT CONGRESS…AGAIN…AND FOLLOW THROUGH ON HIS UNCONSTITUTIONAL PROMISE TO…FIX IMMIGRATION!!!

Here’s the liberal insanity…

Because we have so MANY…ILLEGAL ALIENS HERE ALREADY…THE LIBERAL SOLUTION IS TO…BRING MORE OF THEM UP HERE!!!

It seems the ILLEGAL ALIENS squatting on U.S. SOIL just aren’t all ‘HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY’ with the freebies…cell phones…education…food stamps…housing…welfare and the like…so Obama is going to bring their…FAMILIES HERE TOO!!!

THEY’RE CALLING IT…FAMILY REUNIFICATION!!!!!TAX 5

We can’t have just PART of an ILLEGAL ALIEN family up here SUCKING THE SYSTEM DRY…WE GOTTA HAVE ALL THE BROTHERS, SISTERS, COUSINS, AUNTS AND UNCLES UP HERE TOO!!!

WE’RE TALKING ABOUT MILLIONS OF EXTRA Jose’s and Hose “B’s” RUNNING AMOK…AND THE REGIME HANDING OUT ALREADY FILLED IN DEMOCRAT VOTER REGISTRATION FORMS AND GREEN CARDS LIKE CANDY ON HALLOWEEN!!!

And there’s ol’ GOVERNOR MOONBEAM…OVER IN THE REPUBLIK OF KALIFORNIA…INTRODUCING MEXICAN PRESIDENT introducing Mexican President, ENRIQUE PINATATELLING THE ASSEMBLED CROWD”IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO BE IN THE UNITED STATES…YOU’RE ALL WELCOME IN CALIFORNIA!!!”

Have you ever seen ILLEGAL ALIENS getting out of a car???

THERE’S LIKE 3 DOZEN OF THEM CLIMBIMG OUT MID-SIZE SEDAN!!!TAX 6

KALIFORNIA ISN’T GOING TO MAKE ANY MONEY OFF THEIR NEW GAS TAX IF MILLIONS OF ILLEGAL ALIENS ARE GOING TO BE CAR POOLING LIKE THAT!!!

And if all the FREE CRAP isn’t enough to lure ILLEGAL ALIENS to KALIFORNIA…THE SCENERY IS…AFTER LAST WEEK’S EARTHQUAKE…NAPA VALLEY LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE GUATAMALA…ON A GOOD DAY!!!

And here’s the best part…

WHILE OBAMA IS MAKING SURE ALL THE FAMILY REUNIONS TAKE PLACE ON OUR SIDE OF WHAT USED TO BE A BORDER…HE IS REFUSING TO CLOSE THE BORDER SO…MORE AND MORE HALF A FAMILY OF ILLEGAL ALIENS WILL JUST KEEP COMING…FOLLOWED BY THE MILLIONS MORE OF THE REST OF THEIR FAMILIES but that gets me to thinking…

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE DAMN TERRORISTS POURING ACROSS THE RIO GRANDE???TAX 7

HELL…MAHMOUD ONLY SNUCK IN WITH 3 WIVES…HE’S GOT 11 MORE GARBAGE BAGGED BRIDAL BEAUTIES IN BUTTKRACKISTAN…LET’S BRING THEM ON OVER TOO WHY DON’T WE??? I’M SURE THEY’RE ALL WELCOME IN KALIFORNIA…FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH…THEY HAVEN’T BLOWN ANYTHING UP IN BURBANK YET!!!!!

Oh, I can just HEAR the excuse the liberals are gonna use…

“Well, we HAVE to bring em all here…to do the jobs American’s WON’T do.”

Like what exactly? SELLING BLACK VELVET PRAYER RUGS WITH AIR BRUSHED PAINTING OF THE BURQA MARY AND THE BABY ELVIS ON THEM or…SECURING OUR DAMN BORDER?????

My friends and fellow Patriots…Today IS Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!

Flags for Whitney – Pants for Mike Brown

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

brown 1Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of common sense and decency and truth in the “black community.” Oh, it’s been on life support for some time now but, the plug has been pulled…in Ferguson Missouri.

It was, perhaps, THE most disgusting display of thug martyrdom whipped up by the racist propaganda machine yet.

Mike Brown is dead…long live thug culture.

Brown was killed on August 9th by a cop…a white cop…in the middle of a street in Ferguson Missouri and finally, after 3 autopsies and two weeks of rioting, looting, arson, shootings and various acts of mayhem carried out in his name, given a hero’s funeral on Monday.

Ushers handed out tissues…and water…to the assembled mourners.

Brown’s own cousin, Eric Davis, eulogized the dead thug by calling on the weeping voting bloc to, head to the polls, vote for change and said…“enough of the senseless killings.”

Senseless killings?

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Friday Fume

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

fume 1It’s been quite the week in the land of liberal loons and at the end of every week, we try to tie it all up in one snarky package…WITH AN ATTITUDE!!!

Let’s not dally and dive right in.

Patriots and Friends…It’s FRIDAY and you KNOW what THAT means…

I’m fuming.

Remember when we told you, years ago, that Obama violated the law by placing the Fast and Furious documents he didn’t want Eric Holder to turn over to the House committee under lock and Executive Privilege key?

Sorry liberals…WE WERE RIGHT!!!

Yesterday, a FEDERAL JUDGE…one U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson to be exact…set the fast and furiously approaching date of OCT 1ST as the date by which Eric WITHHOLDER must…drum roll please…TURN OVER ALL THOSE DOCUMENTS TO DARRELL ISSA AND THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE!!!

Does anyone but me smell an impending hard drive crash in the offing?

Now I KNOW that Holder just told the assembled mob in Ferguson that he TOO was a black man but…I do declare…he looks as white as sheet right now.

What’s the matter Holder? Did you just see the ghost of Brian Terry???

By October 1st, Holder has been ordered by the judge to turn over all unprivileged documents AND…all PRIVILEGED documents as well and Issa has until Oct 17th to register any objection regarding any documents that AREN’T turned over.

Why…That’s just a couple of weeks before the…

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Friday Fume

Friday, August 15th, 2014

fume 1

We have reached that point in the week where we meet LIBERAL, POLITICALLY CORRECT ABSURDITY with a snarky dose of CONSERVATIVE politically DIRECT absurdity.

Let’s not dally…what say we just jump right in?

It’s Friday my friends and you’ve guessed it…

I’m fuming.

Now then…in the world of LIBERAL IDIOTS…there are your garden variety liberal idiots…your elected liberal idiots and…but before we get to all of THAT…please allow me to take a moment and reflect on THE most important news of the ENTIRE week…

In memory of the ‘STILL DEAD…SO WHY IN THE HELL ARE WE CONTINUING TO GET  NEWS UPDATES’ Robin Williams…who didn’t “pass away” as is being widely reported as much as he HANGED HIMSELF WITH HIS OWN BELT…which, no doubt, will lead to liberals calling for all Americans to REGISTER THEIR BELTS…CAUSE OBAMA TO MANDATE 23 BELT CONTROL EXECUTIVE ORDERS WITH HIS PEN AND PROMPT DIANE FEINSTEIN TO CALL FOR MAKING SUSPENDERS ILLEGAL…

WE INTERRUPT THIS FUME WITH BREAKING NEWS REGARDING THE PROLONGED DEATH OF THE KINDEST, MOST GENTILE, GRACIOUS AND GENEROUS MAN WHO EVER LEFT HIMSELF DANGLING BY HIS OWN BELT…SO THAT HIS FAMILY OR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES COULD FIND HIM AND BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE…

Because that’s what really sensitive people do I suppose…

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Robin Williams – Yes…He’s Still Dead…

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

rw 2BREAKING NEWS!!!

THIS JUST IN!!!

ROBIN WILLIAMS IS STILL DEAD yet despite the fact that he is, indeed, dead and has remained so for nearly 24 hours…

Our national debt has not dropped and remains in the $18 TRILLION dollar neighborhood…

Lois Lerner’s emails have yet to be found…

There has been NO justice for Ambassador Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty or Tyrone Woods…

All manner of ILLEGAL ALIENS, some carrying infectious diseases are STILL pouring across our border and for that matter…so too are terrorists from barbaric Muslim countries.

WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS BREAKING NEWS REGARDING THE CONTINUED DEATH OF ROBIN WILLIAMS WITH MORE BREAKING NEWS REGARDING THE SUSTAINED DEATH OF ROBIN WILLIAMS…

Robin Williams remains, at this hour, dead…however…

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Friday Fume

Friday, August 8th, 2014

fume 1Day by day…minute by minute…Liberals IQ’s are PLUMMETING!!!

Every Friday, I let off a little steam and THIS Friday is no exception. I mean really…did you SEE this from a couple of days ago???

Obama, the dictator, stood at a press conference and actually had THIS to say about whipping out his anti-constitutional PEN and taking voter registration action regarding ILLEGAL ALIENS!!!

“The American people don’t want me just standing around twiddling my thumbs and waiting for Congress to get something done.”

He’s right you know…we DON’T want him standing around twiddling his thumbs…

WE’D RATHER HAVE HIM PACKING UP ALL HIS CRAP…LOADING IT INTO A TRUCK…AND MOVING THE HELL OUT OF OUR WHITE HOUSE!!!

Well…here’s your week in review…WITH A LITTLE ATTITUDE…

Friends and Patriots…

It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Liberal congresswoman, Julia Brownley from the Socialist Repiblik of Kalifornia sent out a campaign flyer a week ago, trying to convince those in her 26th District that she’s all about the family and…THE MILITARY and along with photos of some kids and a family…most likely none of them her own…was one very particular image…

A woman, dressed in what, at first glance, looked like a NAVY uniform but…NOT to some VETERANS who received the flyer.

Veterans should be IMPORTANT to the politburo wannabe congresswoman as she IS on the House Committee for Veteran Affairs IS ranking member on the House’s Subcommittee on Health, which oversees the VA AND…HER DISTRICT INCLUDES…THE NAVAL BASE IN VENTURA but…

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Friday Fume

Friday, August 1st, 2014

fume 1It’s never a matter of what to write for the Fume…quite the opposite in fact.

The HARD part is narrowing it DOWN but if we can’t find a way to laugh at liberal insanity…we’ll all go screaming into the night.

It’s been a rough week folks so, let’s dive right in…

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

So, this is interesting…and telling.

Members of our military are reporting that they were told not to eat or drink…in front of Muslims…during the month of Ramadan.

SERIOUSLY???

Apparently, Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong is the month of FASTING for TERRORIST BARBARIANS and according to Bridge Commander Col. Kevin Glasz, while THEY observe fasting…WE must observe…POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!

According to an email from Glasz to the troops…“This is a period of great personal restraint and commitment in addition to renewed focus on worship. I’d like to encourage you to learn just a little more about this religion, but more importantly, I’m asking you to be considerate and do not consume food or drink in front of our Muslim colleagues; it is a simple, yet respectful action.”

Let me try to put this in terms this BRASS ASS might understand…

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The Left’s Absolutely, Bone-Crushingly, Mindless Buffoons

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

check 1Jumping the shark is the term used in show business when any particular series, movie or television, has gone past the point of no return with something so inane and ridiculous that people, even their die-hard fans, simply give up and stop watching.

It originated when Fonzie used water skis to jump over a tank with a live shark swimming in it and basically, that was the end of any interest in Happy Days.

The Obama regime has, officially, jumped the shark.

All but the completely Kool Aid soaked liberal/socialists and progressives, those so overtly inebriated on the juice that they can no longer utter a three word sentence, are now asking themselves…What in THE HELL???

Folks, you cannot make this stuff up. They actually said these things and there is no turning back because…they actually MEANT to say these things.

First…let’s lend an ear or an eye to the shark-jumping words of one Hillary Clinton…

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Friday Fume

Friday, July 18th, 2014

fume 1What a week it’s been as liberal absurdity has reached a new high.

First, the Dictator goes down to Texas but REFUSES to visit the border where ILLEGALS are POURING in.

Then, yesterday, as the world burned…our greatest ally, Israel, began their ground war against the Gaza terrorists AND a Malaysian PASSENGER jet was BLOWN OUT OF THE SKY BY RUSSIAN REBELS…There was Obama…FUND RAISISING AGAIN…This time in NY…telling jokes and posing for photo ops…NOT SEEMING TO GIVE A DAMN that 23 Americans might be among the dead…

And in between it all…his town liar, Josh Earnest told the press that BECAUSE of Obama…”THE WORLD IS MORE…TRANQUIL!!!”

If, by “more tranquil” he means that “THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET” then yeah…I suppose the world IS more tranquil.

We could all use a few laughs about now…don’t you think?

Today is FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

Well isn’t this convenient?

The Dictator’s Department of Injustice is now investigating how the Dictator’s minions in the IRS “lost” all those emails and hard drives that could well have provided direct evidence of the Dictator’s direct involvement in the targeting scandal.

Now what do you suppose they’re gonna find?

I’M sure…after a complete and thorough investigation…the derpwads at DOJ will conclude there was “NOT A SMIDGEON OF CORRUPTION” at the IRS GESTAPO!!!

What else should we expect…after all…

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