Archive for the ‘Snarky’ Category

Friday Fume

Friday, July 18th, 2014

fume 1What a week it’s been as liberal absurdity has reached a new high.

First, the Dictator goes down to Texas but REFUSES to visit the border where ILLEGALS are POURING in.

Then, yesterday, as the world burned…our greatest ally, Israel, began their ground war against the Gaza terrorists AND a Malaysian PASSENGER jet was BLOWN OUT OF THE SKY BY RUSSIAN REBELS…There was Obama…FUND RAISISING AGAIN…This time in NY…telling jokes and posing for photo ops…NOT SEEMING TO GIVE A DAMN that 23 Americans might be among the dead…

And in between it all…his town liar, Josh Earnest told the press that BECAUSE of Obama…”THE WORLD IS MORE…TRANQUIL!!!”

If, by “more tranquil” he means that “THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET” then yeah…I suppose the world IS more tranquil.

We could all use a few laughs about now…don’t you think?

Today is FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

Well isn’t this convenient?

The Dictator’s Department of Injustice is now investigating how the Dictator’s minions in the IRS “lost” all those emails and hard drives that could well have provided direct evidence of the Dictator’s direct involvement in the targeting scandal.

Now what do you suppose they’re gonna find?

I’M sure…after a complete and thorough investigation…the derpwads at DOJ will conclude there was “NOT A SMIDGEON OF CORRUPTION” at the IRS GESTAPO!!!

What else should we expect…after all…

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Weekend Edition: Allahu Akpoop – NOT Martha’s Vineyard!!!

Sunday, July 13th, 2014

tnp eagleI have an idea.

As Obama and his absurd ilk have absolutely NO intention of deporting the tsunami of ILLEGAL aliens pouring across our southern border and as we know all too well that a multitude of the future liberal voters, infested with all manner of diseases, are to be relocated to cities, towns and congressional districts from sea to shining sea…

I have an idea…as we now learn of a DEAL made between travel agents masquerading as the governments of Mexico and Guatemala (which in Spanglish apparently means ‘homeland of the scabies ridden youth’ ) by which the parade of illegal aliens will be able to move FROM Guatemala THROUGH Mexico…UNHINDERED by any need for documentation except for new ‘Regional Visitor Cards’ which will be handed out like piñata candy at a baseball bat convention thus allowing MORE illegal aliens to get to the Rio Grande water park FASTER than ever before…

I have an idea.

Relax…I’ll get to it…

AND as the ILLEGAL ALIEN who currently has his prayer rug gracing the oblong office has asked…DEMANDED some $3.7 BILLION U.S. Taxpayer dollars to supplement the need for clothing, housing, bug spray, transportation, government indoctrination center educations, $10.10 per hour per ACORN worker, Obama Phones, all the Guatemelons the Guatemalans can eat buffets and various other perks like welfare, Obamacare, and left over Fast and Furious guns for the gang members accompanying the little vermin and their human hosts without allocating a farthing for the silly idea of SHUTTING DOWN THE DAMN BORDER…

I DO have an idea but before I get to that, allow me to also point out that OUR version of Juan (Spanglish for Barack) and Eva (Spanglish for MOOOOOOchelle) are packing their bags (why both are taking mens boxer shorts is anybody’s guess) in preparation for their annual pilgrimage to identify with the middle class by staying in a $12 MILLION DOLLAR home in…

Here’s  my idea and thanks for waiting…

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Weekend Edition: Hamas Has Had it Coming

Saturday, July 12th, 2014

tnp eagleIt’s been five days now and the pounding of Gaza by Israel continues.

More than 1000 Hamas targets in Gaza have been hit by Israeli missiles as the scum of the Arab world keeps lobbing rockets at Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. Only about ten percent of those Hamas rockets have made it through Israel’s Iron Dome while the Israeli missiles just keep finding their mark. Scores of Hamas terrorists have been killed and yes, some ‘Palestinian’ civilians but guess what?

SO WHAT???

So-called ‘collateral’ damage is the price of war and the ‘Palestinians’ are whining about it…saying that Israel is committing ‘war crimes.’

Stick it up a camel’s ass.

Hamas has had it coming.

If the ‘Palestinians’ don’t want civilians killed…they should move their rockets, launchers, headquarters and base of operations the hell out of neighborhoods, away from schools and stand out in the open rather than being the damn cowards they are.

Now Lebanon is starting to fire rockets at Israel too. Hezbollah, based in THAT particular two goat country have more than ten thousand rockets aimed at Israel and now they’re testing the sands to see if THEY can somehow make a dent in Netanyahu’s defense of his nation.

Really?

Lebanon wants a piece of Netanyahu and Israel?

REALLY???

It’s also been about 5 days since the American Agent of Islam piped up and sputtered: “All parties must protect the innocent and act with reasonableness and restraint, not vengeance and retribution.”

Make no mistake, that statement is a steaming load of crap and aimed ONLY at Israel. Obama solidly backs Hamas and the Palestinian Authority and as has been clearly demonstrated over the course of his prayer rug regime’s reign, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Israel.

Obama made clear he can’t stand Prime Minister Netanyahu during a caught on live microphone moment several years ago.

Obama told Prime Minister Netanyahu that Israel needed to return to their pre-1967 borders…borders he knows damn well are indefensible.

Obama recently PRAISED Mahmoud Abbas stating that, “In President Abbas, Israel has a counterpart committed to a two-state solution and security cooperation with Israel,” but did he offer any such kind words for Prime Minister Netanyahu?

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Would SOMEBODY please potty train the Dictator…

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

AC 1Someone needs to tell it like it is…may as well be me.

Yesterday, after spending the last five days being repeatedly slapped in the face with a wet Supreme Court of the United States fish, the Dictator stepped up to a Rose Garden microphone with GRUMPY the ASS CLOWN, Joe Biden, standing behind him in the lamest attempt I’ve even seen at adding some absurd sense of gravitas to his wilting poll numbers.

“If house Republicans are really concerned about me, taking too many executive actions…pass a bill.”

That’s what the occupier of our oval office said yesterday regarding immigration reform. That is exactly what he said.

Now, let’s look to that statement without the ass hat filter and using our double top secret liberal ideology decoder ring, we can discern the real meaning of his words.

“If house Republicans are really concerned about me, taking too many executive actions…just let me have my way…officially…by passing amnesty and allowing my party to register as many illegal aliens as is humanly possible.”

Oh, he tried to spin his pleading and whining as some sort of humanitarian effort and something which would solve every problem we, as a borderless nation face…amnesty would solve unemployment…cut the national debt and I THOUGHT I heard something between the blah, blah, blah and the yada, yada, yada about how allowing our country to be overrun by law breaking pillagers would cure athletes foot too but in reality, it was little more than a pity party.

What little more it was had to do with his taking more executive actions.

Where’s that particular wet fish again…the one the SCOTUS whacked him with a few days ago? Apparently, somebody needs to take another swing and this time, with meaningful intentions.

Apparently, Boehner’s pending lawsuit holds all the impact of a trout.

The real question here is…

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The Scandals are Real – Obama’s the Phony

Monday, June 23rd, 2014

scan 1Remember the good ol’ days of the Obama regime?

Me either but there WERE days when things were not as they are today. Mainly because they were the earliest days of the regime and the Dictator hadn’t the time yet to extend his special brand of Muslim and socialist corruption far and wide.

Before he was even elected back in 2008, there were those of us who were wondering exactly who this guy was?

Barack Hussein Obama…there were plenty of indications back THEN that he wasn’t who he said he was…an American citizen. Old book jackets said he was born in Kenya. The Kenyan GOVERNMENT said he was born in Kenya.

There were no college records we were allowed to see…no thesis we were allowed to read…nobody knew who financed his upper class education, and where-oh-where was his BIRTH CERTIFICATE???

Well…he cleared it all up by RELEASING his birth certificate didn’t he? You know…the one that was proven to be a fake by people who understood exactly how to fake that sort of thing and then by a law enforcement investigation that also proved his social security number is fraudulent and so is his selective service registration but…those were the good ol’ days of the regime.

What followed has been nothing short of a cascade of corruption flowing down from what was purported to be the “most transparent administration in history.”

Fast and Furious…

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Friday Fume

Thursday, June 12th, 2014

fume 1As I sat down to hammer out this week’s attitude-laced week in review, I really wanted to go off on Hillary’s new book and signing tour but…in the grand scheme of things…635 pages of toilet paper pales in the light of other decidedly liberal/socialist stupidity.

It’s been a tough week to be a liberal and I’m sure they’re getting dizzy from all the spinning they’ve been doing while trying to get out of the hole they keep digging for themselves.

How about we all take a break from pulling our hair out and spend a few minutes giving liberals, socialists and their collective ilk all the credit they deserve?

My friends…It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Just a couple of days ago, there was quite the scene taking place just outside the white house.

It was shortly before 3:00 pm when reporters were starting to file in for their daily dose of regime propaganda when a fellow approached the security gate and told the Secret Service that he had a 3 o’clock appointment with, “Mr. Obama.”

He then showed them some foreign driver’s license whereupon  the palace guard promptly told him he would need a U.S. DRIVERS LICENSE or a PASSPORT.

That’s right… a U.S. DRIVERS LICENSE OR A PASSPORT TO GET INTO THE WHITE HOUSE which comes as quite a shock since the dude that LIVES at the white house…APPARENTLY DOESN’T HAVE EITHER ONE but that’s not the most shocking part of all this…

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Is the RIGHT Really WRONG???

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

left 1Apparently, we Conservatives have had it all wrong.

We’ve out there in deep right field blowing dandelion seeds into the breeze and just making up crap to be upset over.

Silly us.

Why…just yesterday, we got all bent out of shape over the IRS and a new revelation discovered by Issa’a house committee showing that…just before the 2010 midterm elections…the IRS sent over a few…just a few…pages of American’s personal information to the FBI.

You know…personal information that is supposedly protected by federal laws that state the IRS and ONLY the IRS is to have access to.

Okay…it was just over 1 MILLION pages but, who’s counting. Anyway…by comparison…the Obamacare bill that nobody read and yet is still causing so much trouble was only 2700 pages but again…who’s counting.

According to Issa; “The IRS apparently considered political speech by nonprofit groups to be so troublesome that it illegally assisted federal law-enforcement officials in assembling a massive database of the lawful political speech of thousands of American citizens, weeks before the 2010 midterm elections, using confidential taxpayer information.”

Imagine…citizens groups that don’t make a profit engaging in free speech. Shameful. The exact sort of thing the FBI should be looking into and the sort of people on whom the FBI should be making files.

Now, I KNOW what Conservatives are thinking…SCANDAL…SHREDDING THE CONSTITUTION…STOMPING ON FREEDOM OF SPEECH…USING THE IRS AS A POLITICAL WEAPON…FBI AND GOVERNMENT INTRUSION…

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Friday Fume

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

fume 1Week IN and week OUT…liberals and socialists just continue to put their full colors on display and this week has been no exception to the rule.

Nancy Pelosi actually put Elijah Cummings on the Benghazi Select Committee. ELIJAH CUMMINGS…the demoRAT who just got caught HELPING TO ENGINEER THE IRS TARGETING OF CONSERVATIVES with Lois “I PLEAD THE 5th” LERNER and it’s the LIBERALS who are complaining about THE REPUBLICANS being unethical???

And over in the SENATE…50 senators…ALL OF THEM LIBERAL/SOCIALISTS…sent a letter to the NFL DEMANDING they force the Washington REDSKINS change the team’s name because, they say…IT’S RACIST!!!

They don’t give a rat’s ass about finding the truth of Benghazi but…THEY’RE COMING UNGLUED OVER A FOOTBALL TEAM’S NAME???

What’s next? They’re gonna DEMAND that NEW ENGLAND change THEIR team’s name because it…PARTISAN???

Good grief…Well, if you’re ready SO AM I!!! It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

This week’s first instance of liberals behaving normally…for liberals…comes to us from MURFREESBORO, TENNESSEE…That’s where the cops arrested 49 year old Lonnie Hutton.

Liberal Lonnie strolled into the Boro Bar and Grill last week…marched himself right over to the ATM…DROPPED HIS PANTS AND HIS TIGHTY WHITEYS and…proceeded to try and…ummmmm…insert something of HIS into something of ITS.

Yes…I KNOW that the slot into which the card goes as well as the slot from where the money pops out and but a few millimeters wide from top to bottom but…

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Friday Fume

Friday, May 16th, 2014

fume 1Every Friday, we take a look at the week’s liberal/socialist knot-headed behavior and highlight just a little of their asylum antics here in the Fume. If we can’t find a way to laugh at em…WE’LL ALL BECOME JUST AS MORONIC AS THEY ARE!!!

That said…hold on to something well anchored and put down your beverages because…

HERE WE GO!!!!!

It IS Friday my friends and…

I’m fuming.

Well…so far this week…we’ve found Casey Kasem…the SUN’S TWIN BROTHER  and Chis Columbus’ Santa Maria but…WHERE IN THE HELL IS THAT DAMNED AIRPLANE???

In the case of the missing for more than 2 months flight 370…investigators have now come to the near conclusion that the “pings” they were hearing 2 months ago…PROBABLY WEREN’T THE PLANE???

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

What’s even more puzzling that that is the fact that they’re STILL LOOKING AROUND THE BOTTOM OF THE INDIAN OCEAN for the thing.

Allow me to offer a little advice here and, bear in mind that I am NOT an aviation “Where’s Waldo” expert but…if the pings weren’t coming from the plane’s black boxes and nobody has seen one single “SEAT CUSHION THAT CAN BE USED AS A FLOATATION DEVICE” in more than 2 MONTHS OF SNIFFING ABOUT IN THE OCEAN…there’s a pretty good chance that the airplane…

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Friday Fume

Friday, May 9th, 2014

fume 1Oh my, it’s been another bad week for liberal nut jobs. Email trails leading to the oval office…Obama’s IRS puppet being held in contempt…Ketchup boy Kerry proclaiming HE’S gonna ignore a subpoena and a SPECIAL INVESTIGATIVE COMMITTEE has been employed to get to the bottom of Benghazi with TREY GOWDY heading it up.

And you know how liberals are…When things are looking down for them at home…they turn to their counterparts in other lands for support…you know… to make the ideology of idiots look good.

Psssssssst…hey socialists…They’re just as nutty over there as you squirrel turds are over here…

Here WE go FOLKS…2 cases AND THE point ARE AT HAND!!! Today IS Friday after all and…

I’m fuming.

Well…THIS is certainly interesting…

Vladimir Putty Pants has signed off on a bill that will ban…

SWEARING IN RUSSIA!!!!!

Any movie that contains profanity will NO LONGER BE DISTRIBUTED in Russia when this bill goes into effect on July 1st. MUSIC with cuss words will be sold ONLY in EXPLICITLY LABELED…SEALED PACKAGES and the same for books and magazines.

Should a Russian BUSINESS owner suddenly drop an “F” bomb are utter some other swear word like…oh, I don’t know…

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