Archive for the ‘Snarky’ Category

(Good) Friday Fume

Friday, April 18th, 2014

fume 1

This weekend is a weekend of great faith for Christians and Jews the world over and a time when we should all be celebrating as our traditions allow.

It’s Easter.

It’s Passover.

It is a time when our faiths bring us together…when the new and the old testaments find some common ground and a time, whether Jewish or Christian, to celebrate new beginnings.

For liberals and socialists however…

It’s not exactly the same sort of weekend.

Friends and Patriots…grab your eggs and GIRD YOUR LOIN ROASTS because today is Good Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Well, Easter weekend is upon us and up to now, the Easter message has always been clear. That’s where the REVEREND AL “I was FOR the mob before I was AGAINST the mob” SHARPTON comes in.

According to not-so SHARPton…

“I think the message is, that no matter what the world may do to unfairly, no matter how you’re crucified, nailed to the cross at home, or in your personal relationships, or on the job, that you can rise if you don’t lose yourself during the hard times and the challenges.”

The blathering moron then went on to draw a direct parallel between CHRIST THE SAVIOR and…

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Friday Fume

Friday, April 11th, 2014

friday fume 1Last week, Rev. RAT Al Not-So Sarpton claimed that he was never an FBI informant against the mob.

THIS week he ADMITS he was an FBI informant against the mob AND, he says that calling him a RAT is RACIST and that he SHOULD be thought of as a HERO.

Of course, yesterday…The Smoking Gun released a STING VIDEO of the FAT RAT back in the 80’s MAKING A DEAL TO TAKE POSSESSION OF $350,000 CLAMS WORK OF COCAINE!!!!

MSNBC is probably going to give him a raise.

The house committee has found Lois Lerner in contempt and, if the entire house agrees…The case will go to ERIC HOLDERS office for prosecution.

Ummmmm….

ERIC HOLDER WAS ALSO FOUND TO BE IN CONTEMPT!!!!

And…

When Obama was in Texas a couple of days ago…He met with Wendy “ABORTION BARBIE Davis.

A clear cut case of too little too late if ever there was one.

HANG ON FOLKS!!!

It’s FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

Well, well…Isn’t THIS quaint?

It now appears that part of the whole IRS targeting Conservative groups was cooked up by none other than…

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Friday Fume

Friday, April 4th, 2014

fume 1Well of all the…

Really?

$400,000.00 of OUR money…TAXPAYER dollars…Are about to be spent on WHAT…Exactly???

A CAMEL statue?

It’s only a one humper too.

And it’s not going to be placed in some fancy east coast art museum or on the Washington mall. Nooooooooo…

IT’S GOING TO BE IN…PAKISTAN!!!!!

The 500-pound, fiberglass, aluminum, stainless-steel, acrylic and painted white monstrosity is called…

Get this…

“CAMEL CONTEMPLATING A NEEDLE!!!!!”

So…Who’s bright idea is THIS???

THE UNITED STATES STATE DEPARTMENT and…THEY’RE GONNA PUT IT OUTSIDE THE U.S. EMBASSY IN ISLAMABAD!!!!!

Of all the ISLAM-a-BAD IDEAS…IT’S RIGHT OUT OF THE NEW TESTAMENT AND…YOU KNOW HOW THE ISLAM-O-BOMBERS FEEL ABOUT THE NEW TESTAMENT!!!!

And you wonder why MAHMOUD KABOOM is gonna get all ALALALALALALALALA over this thing???

Because…

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Friday Fume

Friday, March 28th, 2014

friday fume 1Obamacare has hit the Supreme Court but, I’m not talking about the Hobby Lobby case…I’m talking about Whistler’s GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRANDMOTHER…Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

LIBERALS are actually putting the PRESSURE on the woman who used to BABYSIT ABE LINCOLN to RETIRE because…THEY’RE afraid the frail and sickly looking SUPREME COURT MUNCHKIN might just OUT LIVE THE OBAMA REGIME and they don’t want to take the chance that a REPUBLICAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE WILL NAME HER REPLACEMENT!!!

If she doesn’t retire…They’ll just have the DEATH PANEL cut off her PRUNE JUICE SUBSIDY after which hers will become the first recorded death from being FULL OF CRAP!!!

Remember back when compulsive liar, Harry Reid got caught giving his GRANDDAUGHTER’S BUSINESS $17 grand from his CAMPAIGN account?

Well, he DID say he’d pay all $17,000 bucks back from his own pocket but…NOW we have word that it was REALLY…$31,000.00 that Reid gave the grandchild.

And the IRS is targeting CONSERVATIVES???

Finally, in the search for the missing plane…Australian satellites have spotted 22 pieces of debris…Taiwanese satellites have spotted 120 pieces.

A Chinese satellite spotted more than 300 pieces of debris and…A JAPANESE SATELLITE SPOTTED…

GODZILLA!!!!!!!

RUN!!! RUN FOR YOUR RIVES!!!!!

Here we go with another week full of liberal boneheads on parade!!!

My friends…It’s Friday and…

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Friday Fume

Friday, March 21st, 2014

fume 4Oh what a week this has been.

Liberal March madness is what I call it.

What is WRONG with these people anyway???

We’ve got news of a SCHOOL TEACHER in England who has DEMANDED a student REMOVE a HELP FOR HEROES WRIST BAND that he wears for the murdered Lee Rigby…In case it might OFFEND A MUSLIM!!!

We’re talking about people who are followers of a PEDOPHILE and there’s a teacher out there who is afraid they’ll be offended by a WRISTBAND?????

Ketchup Boy Kerry was in LONDON a few days ago announcing SANCTIONS against a few Russians nobody’s ever heard of and he went WAY out of his way to make it clear to Putin that we were NOT THREATENING him and that the sanctions were, “NOTHING PERSONAL!!!”

Does he really think there’s a SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN A TOASTER OVEN that PUTIN was gonna feel PERSONALLY THREATENED by the CANCELLATIONS OF 6 SOVIET DIPLOMATS LIBRARY CARDS???

And…

INSURANCE COMPANIES are now saying that your already UNAFFORDABLE “affordable” care act premiums will most likely DOUBLE next year because…NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE SIGNING UP FOR THE CRAP…OF THOSE WHO ARE SIGNING UP…NOT ENOUGH ARE PAYING AND…ONLY 11% OF THOSE WHO DIDN’T HAVE INSURANCE BEFORE Obamacrap want anything to DO with Obamacrap!!!

Gee…We never saw THAT coming did we???

Anyway…It’s Friday and, time to let it out…

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Friday Fume

Friday, March 14th, 2014

Well, friends and Patriots…Another week has come and gone.

Malaysia has lost a plane and…

LIBERALS KEEP RIGHT ON LOSING THEIR MINDS!!!!!

Let’s skip the quick hitters this time and head straight for the knot-headed behavior of the left side of the aisle.

Today is FRIDAY and…

I’m fuming.

Apparently…

ALL the other problems in the world have been TAKEN CARE OF and the ONLY thing now holding women back is being called bossy.

According to Facebook’s  COO, Sheryl Sandberg, little girls are somehow scarred for life if they are called…Bossy and women…WOMEN…Just can’t reach their true potential if THEY are called…

BOSSY.

WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP but, like flies to manure…LIBERALS are now buzzing around trying to actually BAN the word…BOSSY!!!

According to liberals…being called BOSSY is a form of LABELING and…”BEING LABELED…MATTERS!!!”

Oddly…It hasn’t stopped LIBERALS from labeling those who don’t flock toward SOCIALISM as “ANGRY MOBS, TERRORISTS, HOSTAGE TAKERS, VIOLENT, RACISTS and CERTIFIABLY INSANE!!!”

These idiots claim that, by middle school, little girls are less interested in LEADERSHIP and the REASON they are less interested is because…THEY ARE AFRAID THEY WILL BE CALLED…BOSSY!!!

“BAN BOSSY” is now the liberal cry.

“BAN BOSSY!!!!!!!”

I don’t know about you but…DEMANDING  the word…BOSSY…be banned seems to be pretty…

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Obama’s Free-Range, Illegal Alien Decree

Tuesday, March 11th, 2014

Just a few days ago, U.S. Border Patrol Chief Michael Fisher, issued a NEW DIRECTIVE called, “Use of safe tactics and techniques.”

Before I get into it…Allow me to bring up something which, on first blush, would seem to be totally unrelated.

Free-Range Chickens.

Those are chicken dinners running amok without any supervision…Free to roam fruited plains from sea to shining sea.

They are not to be confused with SMART chickens which, were they really, wouldn’t be caught dead in the frozen foods section at your local market.

Now then, back to the NEW DIRECTIVE as issued by the U.S. Border Patrol.

It is an engraved invitation for “FREE-RANGE ILLEGAL ALIENS” that permits them to RUN AMOK without fear of being rounded up any time soon.

Here are the lily-livered details…

(1)    In accordance with CBP’s current Use of Force policy, agents shall not discharge their firearms at a moving vehicle unless the agent has a reasonable belief, based on the totality of the circumstances that deadly force is being used against an agent or another person present; such deadly force may include a moving vehicle aimed at agents or others present, but would not include a moving vehicle merely fleeing from agents. Further, agents should not place themselves in the path of a moving vehicle or use their body to block a vehicle’s path.

But wait, there’s more…

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Friday Fume

Friday, February 21st, 2014

It’s been yet another week of unbridled, lobotomized, liberal lunacy and they don’t show any signs of slowing down.

Before we jump into the shallow end of this week’s gene pool, let’s have a look at a few quick hitters.

Get a load of THIS…

The FCC now wants to have GOVERNMENT GOONS in NEWSROOMS from sea to shining sea.

Do you suppose MSNBC will even notice or, are they sprucing up a corner office with a wet bar?

How about THIS one?

The Department of Energy has been monitoring a New Mexico repository for nuclear waste for signs of…Radioactivity.

Ummmmm…

What’s next?

Monitoring gym lockers for signs of smelly socks???

And…Kayla Michelle Finley of South Carolina had to spend a night in JAIL a few evenings ago because she was ARRESTED for FAILING TO RETURN A MOVIE SHE HAD RENTED…9 YEARS AGO!!!

The movie was “Monster-in-Law” starring Jennifer Lopez and JANE FONDA!!!

ARRESTED???

JAILED???

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How to LOSE an Election in 10 Easy Steps

Monday, February 17th, 2014

As we have an election in a short 8 ½ months, primaries in just 3 months and, since we haven’t done this sort of thing for the last 15 months or so…I thought now might be a good time for a refresher course in how to LOSE an election.

Somehow, we, as Conservatives, screwed it up back in 2010 and actually won the darn thing.

If memory serves…It was called a shellacking and, we certainly wouldn’t want to have THAT again.

Would we?

So…Let’s get started…

How to LOSE an election.

1) RESEARCH

Don’t do your own.

It takes time…It’s hard and it simply isn’t necessary in this day and age. There are PLENTY of folks scattered about on social media that you don’t know a single thing about who will be more than happy to do your research for you.

By all means…TRUST them.

There are a lot of axes out there and more than enough people willing to grind them and, it really doesn’t matter whether or not THEY share YOUR values and ideology…THEY did the research and, according to them…PIGS can FLY.

Just go with it.

Next…

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Friday Fume

Friday, February 14th, 2014

 WHOO HOO…We’ve reached the end of another week and, although I took a few days off to move from one abode to another…3 FREAKIN’ BLOCKS AWAY…Liberals and socialists have been WORKING OVER-TIME!!!

Rand Paul has filed a class action suit over the NSA scandal while Obama STILL insists that Americans’ privacy is protected under NSA programs.

Yeah…Right…Sort of in the same way the IRS is PROTECTING OUR BANK ACCOUNTS!!!

Despite spending more than $300 MILLION DOLLARS OF TAXPAYER MONEY on their OBAMACARE WEBSITE…The state of Oregon HAS YET TO SIGN UP ONE SINGLE PERSON ON THE STUPID THING!!!!!

Now, the FBI is getting involved and a federal investigation is opening into the the great northwest debacle.

I’ll save em a whole bunch of time and money…

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING…NOBODY’S RESPONSIBLE AND…EVERYTHING IS WORKING FINE!!!

Move along…Nothing to see in Oregon.

And…The man who has yet to find the REAL killer…O.J. Simpson…says, “I used to live my way, and now I’m going to die my way. I want to just sit down in a corner and die.”

And to accomplish the task…

He says he’s going on a hunger strike.

Have you SEEN pictures of that idiot lately???

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