A Rapper’s Hell Hole Delight

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

I don’t know about the rest of you…but when I feel the need to gain a clear, concise understanding of things…and when I say “things” I mean…you know…stuff…I shut down the radio, turn off the TV, and step away from any and all of my run of the mill sources and go directly, with great alacrity to…


Once on instragram…I begin looking for the correspondents who always seem to have THE best grip on all the things…and by “things” I mean stuff…that affects us all…


And among the legions of celebrities who populate Instagram, there exists a sub-category where wisdom is found which rivals that purported to reside in Hindu sages who sit atop the mountains of Tibet…


Now, I know what you’re thinking…rap is for singers who can’t sing…much in the same way that reggae is music for black people who can’t dance…and you’d be right, but rappers possess an insight into the world of politics that is unmatched by the rest of humanity, and one would be remiss not to take their political musings seriously.

My favorite rap source for political commentary is one Cardi B who’s depth knowledge regarding the government shutdown was put on full display just a couple of days ago…on Instagram…for world to see.

And I quote…“Now, I don’t want to hear you motherfuckers talkin’ about, ‘Oh, but Obama shut down the government for 17 days. … Yeah bitch, for health care. So, your grandmother can check her blood pressure and you bitches can go check out your pussies at the gynecologist with no motherfuckin’ problem.”

Its pure poetry, isn’t it?

The seer, sage and sooth-sayer otherwise known as Cardi B went on to proclaim…“I know that not a lot of y’all don’t care because y’all don’t work for the government or y’all probably don’t have a job, but this shit is really fuckin’ serious, bro. This shit is crazy. Our country is in a hell hole right now all for a fuckn’ wall. Everybody needs to take this seriously. I feel like we need to take some action. I don’t know what type of action, bitch, because dis not what I do, but bitch, I’m scared. This is crazy and I feel bad for these people that got to go to fucking work to not get motherfucking paid.”

Allow me to offer my sincere apologies to every sailor in the entire U.S. Naval fleet.

At this point, you’re most likely wondering what the “B” in Cardi B stands for, and I think I can help you with that…


So…Cardi Boobs wrapped up her rap insight by stating the plainly obvious…“our country is in a hell hole”

Alrighty then…having been granted Cardi Boobs illuminated insight into the government shutdown, but not being one to let such knowledge just languish without so much as seeking examples of the hell hole of which Miss Boobs so eloquently spoke…I started looking around.

As yet, I haven’t seen any ill-effect of the government shutdown myself or in my own sheltered world. Apparently, like so very many of you…I seem to be insulated from the horrors of having non-essential government workers not essentially working on things that aren’t…apparently…essential…but Cardi Boobs said what she said so there has to be truth in it…somewhere.

So…using all of my deductive prowess, I set about wondering where one could go to see for one’s self whether or not we were living in a hell hole due to 25 percent of the government being essentially sans non-essential government employees.

What place exists where the government effects more people every day than any other?

The post office.

I scurried down to our local post office in my tiny town to see for myself the horrors of a government shutdown hell hole, and boy, oh boy were my eyes opened. The price of a postage stamp is set to go up yet another .05 cents later this month, from .50 cents apiece to .55 cents per stamp…and according to the charming young lady in our post office, that postage stamp price increase is still set to take place despite the hell hole created by the government shutdown.

Now this tells me something else that is very important to know…and something that only someone with my observational and sleuthing powers would know…

I am convinced that the price of postage stamps only goes up so that the post office can afford to purchase some more of those, “Next Window Please” signs which leads me to believe that the government agency that manufactures said signage is essential to the business of government.

If you don’t think they’re essential…imagine standing there, in the post office…at a service window behind which nobody is working for hours and hours…because there’s no “Next Window Please” sign to tell you that the window you have initially chosen…isn’t open for business.

Now let me be clear here…said “Next Window Please” signs, while being manufactured by official, essential U.S. government employees, are distributed hither and yawn by UPS so as to arrive in a timely manner at post offices without being folded, spindled or otherwise…mutilated.

So, if the post office is not the hell hole of which Cardi Boobs instagrammed…where is it?

What other place effects a great number of garden variety Americans to such an extent that it could well result in becoming a hell hole when the government goes into shutdown mode? It would have to be a place where a great number of people gather on a daily basis. A place of some importance to people. It would have to be a place that exists in a grand number of cities, where people have no other choice but to submit themselves to government dilly-dallying.

The airport.

After coming up empty at the post office, I made the drive to Valentine International Airport in Valentine, Nebraska to see for myself the unmitigated hell hole the place had become during the government shutdown.

To be fair, Valentine International Airport is located in Valentine, Nebraska…a town of less than 2,000 people…and has a terminal in which nobody actually works…two microwave ovens made by Montgomery Ward in the late 1970’s, a slightly faded Pepsi machine that sells cans of soda for just .50 cents…and no control tower.

It isn’t fancy, yet it’s no hell hole either…but undeterred…and still believing that other airports with slightly newer microwaves might hold hell hole promise…I engaged in further research. It seems that at any given time, 24 hours a day, there are on average 61,000 people defying Newton’s laws of gravity in the skies over our great nation which means, that while not embarking on their airborne excursions from Valentine International Airport…they are going to airports somewhere.

As it turns out…big airports…the sort of airports that do indeed have control towers…have had to furlough a percentage of certain government employees during the shutdown which is causing some bit of ire amongst those wishing to board a plane…

The TSA.

Just a couple of days ago, Rashida Tlaib…the congresswoman who apparently went to the Cardi Boobs school of linguistics…posted this comment to her twitter account…”So hard going through the airport today. I looked into the eyes of our workers who deserve better. A TSA officer said: “Don’t stop fighting. Keep it up.” I broke down & felt the weight of the responsibility on me. I will never become numb to the human impact. We must end this.”

Oh, the humanity.

I should, at this point, express a couple of things to Tlaib…A) if your trying to play on our sympathies, you should use as your pretend props a group somewhat less reviled than TSA workers…and B) were it not  for your ideology, we wouldn’t even HAVE TSA workers in the first place.

But here’s the deal…due to some of the TSA workers being sent home during the government shutdown, the lines of people at the TSA checkpoints is longer than the line of liberals announcing their plans to run for president, and it’s giving people in those lines a case of keester itch.

Personally, I find this rather interesting, in that apparently some…not all but some of the TSA employees are…non-essential.

Who knew?

I thought for the most part they were ALL non-essential because to the best of my knowledge, not one Tlaibian terrorist has been discovered via a government mandated inappropriate airport groping.

One TSA employee at Dulles who has been held out due to the shutdown recently said, “When you are the head of the household, family is looking up to you to provide, but at the same time, I’m not able to fulfill that role.” He said his bank account was negative.

Might I be so bold as to suggest that this fellow get a job as a greeter at WalMart…the vest is the same color, and there are plenty of people shopping at WalMart who wouldn’t mind one little bit standing in line for a groping.

To be fair however…so far…1,400 cases of an enlarged prostate, 2,300 cases of erectile dysfunction and 13,701 breast implants have been discovered by the TSA which means that  some woman either had just one implant, or three implants or possibly that one TSA worker somewhere had one hand in his pocket at that particular moment.

Whatever the reason might be for the odd number on that last statistic…there’s your Cardi Boobs hell hole right there.

Because of the government shutdown…

Never have so many stood in lines so long to be felt up by so few…for so little.

Mr. President…keep the government shut down until the wall…goes up.

© Craig Andresen/thenationalpatriot.com 2019

For more political commentary please visit my RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS partner Diane Sori’s blog The Patriot Factor to read her latest article Two Invasions: One Overt, One Hiding In Plain Sight

************************************************************************************************  RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS…LIVE!

Today, Friday, January 18th from 7 to 9pm EST on American Political Radio, RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS Craig Andresen and Diane Sori discuss ‘Two Invasions: One Overt, One Hiding In Plain Sight’; ‘A Rapper’s Hell Hole Delight’; and important news of the day.

Hope you can tune in at: http://listen.samcloud.com/w/73891/American-Political-Radio#history…or on Tune-In at: https://tunein.com/radio/American-Political-Radio-s273246/