The Border Wall and Birdbrained Liberals

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Fact number one…most of the folks who inhabit the mainstream media are liberals. Fact number two…most of the people who appear on cable alphabet new channels are liberals.

Fact number three…most liberals are…morons.

Which leads us to the inevitable conclusion that most of the people appearing on MSNBC are, in fact, liberal morons.

This would be a theory were it not for inescapable proof and there can be no better proof than the case made between an MSNBC anchor and his absurd guest a few nights ago, as the two tried, insanely, to promote a reason not to build a border wall between our country, and the one just to the south of us…Mexico.

In that exchange of utter liberal nonsense…it was purported that the wall should not be built because…

And I’m not making this up…

Because birds, and bats, would not be able to…fly…over the proposed wall.

To be completely fair, some of our fine, feathered friends would not be capable of flying over such a wall. The Ostrich for instance, is a ground-based bird who does not fly at all, and therefore, would be unable to get over the wall to become an illegal alien in the United States.

Penguins are yet another example of land dwelling fowl who would be trapped in Mexico as they too, lack the ability to fly over the wall, but if I might offer them a suggestion…should they so desire, they should swim up the west coast, past Ensenada, maybe spending a day or two consorting with the buffalo on Catalina Island, before hopping a ferry where they could then waddle ashore in Los Angeles.

And yes, for those who haven’t been, there are buffalo on Catalina Island. They were, in fact, flown there decades ago to be extras in a film adaptation of a Zane Gray novel, however, by the time all was said and done, there simply wasn’t enough money to fly them back to the mainland, so they were left there…on the island.

Which brings up yet another valid point…that being that the wings of buffalo, while tasty when smothered in BBQ or hot sauce, are far too small in comparison to the size of their bodies for the snorting beasts to gain flight…therefore…if, per chance, Mexico has buffalo…they too would be trapped on their side of the proposed wall.

Along with the possibility of a small handful of other flightless birds, that leaves us with your basic chickens and turkeys…which can, in fact, fly (to some extent) and yet choose not to…which makes them not a great deal like those folks from south of the border who could come across sans proper documentation, and yet choose not to.

We call them LEGAL immigrants, and they are always welcome.

But the flightless are NOT the ilk of birds and bats that MSNBC and their guest were talking about in the broadcast piece. Oh…no…they were chirping about migratory birds and your assorted bats. Here…watch the tape…

Okay…migratory birds can’t fly OVER the wall…because they feed on seeds found on the GROUND?

Are you KIDDING me?

Let’s take the robin as an example. Robins migrate. They FLY south for the winter, and north for the spring and summer months, not unlike a god deal of people who trek to and from Arizona and Florida. One of the robins favorite foods are worms. Worms are most commonly found in the ground, hence the name…earthworms. If worms were found at higher altitudes, they would, of course, be called skyworms, but that simply is not the case.

Are these two idiots actually trying to convince ME that robins lack the ability, or the ambition, to fly over a border wall?

No…they are trying to convince all 14 of their views that robins can’t fly over a border wall, and it should be a fairly easy job as all 14 of their viewers are already convinced that global warming is man-made…but still…really?

And bats…bats can’t fly over a border wall either? Because they fly using radar, and simply wouldn’t be able to figure it out? You have GOT to be kidding me.

Have you ever been in a cave, or at the very least seen a cave full of bats on a National Geographic special? Caves, for the uninitiated, are full of walls. Some cave walls are high, some are short, and caves have tunnels that curve around, rise and fall, and even have blind passageways. Taking all of that into account, which, let’s face it is much more confusing than a simple, yet tall wall, bats seem to be able to navigate their way in and out of caves with relative ease.

What those loons over there at MSNBC are trying to make us all believe is that migratory birds, although they can fly, only fly near ground level, and that bats, also adept at flight, would be completely baffled by a wall.


But it is not just the birds and the bats that have those MSNBC bird-brains going bat-crap crazy…

There are things like wolves, leopards, and apparently turtles that, according to them, might go extinct if a border wall is actually built.

Now, I want you to consider this scenario very, very carefully…

What this brain dead MSNBC host, and his brainless guest are telling us is, that unless we let wolves, leopards and turtles into our country…without the proper documentation…they will simply perish from the face of the earth.

Now, before you laugh out loud at this concept, I urge you to consider what happened hundreds of millions of years ago.

I am reasonably sure, that had the MSNBC interview continued for a few more minutes, they would have offered up proof that it wasn’t some giant asteroid crashing into the earth resulting in the Chicxulub crater located in the Yucatán Peninsula that altered the climate, thus killing off the dinosaurs…

It was a border wall…built by the Trumposaurous Rex…that was responsible. Don’t think so? Well then, ask yourselves when, exactly, was the last time you saw a giant bat-like bird, called a Pterodactyl, sitting at your backyard bird feeder?

Never…right? Well, there ya go then. Pterodactyls being bat-like, and migratory birdish creatures, were utterly stymied by the ever-so-encumbering Trumposaurus border wall that they vanished from the planet. Global climate warming change, brought about by a combination of Brontosaurus farts, and Stegosaurus’ driving SUV’s and using hairspray had no more to do with it than a catastrophic, extinction event plummeting to earth from outer space.

Okay, all of that said, let’s boil this all down to something that makes sense, which means it will never see the light of day at MSNBC.

While we are a bit short on free-range leopards in our great country, I suspect we don’t really need any, which I realize makes me leopardophobic in liberal circles, but I’m fine with that.

As for the wolves and turtles…we seem to have plenty of them roaming about on our side of the border already, and the notion that unless we allow them the ability to come across our southern border willy-nilly, they will all die off, is abjectly absurd. Think about it. Those critters are already living in Mexico, and happily I might add, so if they are all supposed to go extinct lest they be allowed to enter the U.S. how could they possibly live in Mexico now? Wouldn’t they have long ago come over here to take advantage of our welfare system and get registered as democrats?

Of course they would have…that is a foregone conclusion.

And finally…the birds and the bats…

This may seem a bit elitist of me but…if there are migratory birds and bats, that are so uneducated, or simply lack the innate intelligence, to fly over a wall, those that would simply stand in a line, on the ground, facing said wall…without so much as a clue of what to do next…do we really want them here?

I mean, if they are that bone-crushingly moronic…given their powers of flight…that they couldn’t become airborne enough to migrate here like documented smart, law abiding birds and bats have for the past 241 years…who in the hell needs them?

I say build the damn wall, and screw the leopards, wolves and turtles.

Build the wall if for no other reason than to keep the short bus riding, ambitionless, liberal birds and bats from sucking our overburdened social handout system dry.

And, if that wall slows down to a comparative crawl, the number of leeches that have been coming to our country, with absolutely no intention of becoming American citizens and/or assimilating into our society, as legal immigrants have for more than two centuries…

So much the better.

Copyright © 2017 Craig Andresen /