Flag Burners…You HAVE Been Warned

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

I would like to take a moment, to address the myriad of morons who are mulling over burning an American flag.bur-1

While the United States Supreme Court has issued a ruling that flag burning is a right, protected by our 1st Amendment…there are a few things that you should know…and I’ll get to those in a little bit.

Before I do though, let’s first examine why, exactly, you people are doing what you’re doing, because it’s important to have the facts before we proceed.

You bunch of brainless buffoons are burning American flags because…you are disgruntled…but over what exactly?

You don’t like the United States. At least, that is one of the reasons you present for your bur-2actions. Okay…is there a country you would prefer when it comes to where you reside? Bear in mind that most other countries don’t offer the same rights and/or freedoms that the good ol’ U.S.A. offers to our citizens and in most other countries, you wouldn’t have the right to torch their flag.

Just name the country you think is better than ours, and I’m reasonable sure somebody will offer you a one way ticket to wherever that is…and good luck to you.

You aren’t happy with the outcome of the recent election? That’s another reason offered by flag burners recently.

Well…too damn bad, because the outcome is what the outcome is and no amount of burning flags is going to alter it. By the way…did you happen to notice how many people who were dissatisfied with the outcome of the two previous elections lit flags on fire? Zero, as near as I can tell. Sure, those of us who didn’t like Obama’s two wins had a lot to say about it, but we rode it out until your party had enough rope in hand to hang themselves this time around, and regardless of how many flags you light afire, you’re going to have to wait for the next election cycle, 4 years from now, before you have any further say in the matter.

What I suspect to be the real reason you pack of idiots are out their burning our American flag, is that you are reading the handwriting on the wall, despite your government education, and you aren’t the least bit happy that the free crap gravy train is about to reach the end of the line.bur-3


Up until now, you have been programed to think you’re special…that you’re entitled to things other people have, and that you shouldn’t have to earn them. A free education…free healthcare…free cell phones, free food, free housing and free this, free that and free the other thing.

The problem is…none of the free stuff you have enjoyed for years, nor the free stuff you thought was going to just keep landing in your collective laps…is free.

Somebody has to pay for it and that somebody is not the government, because the government doesn’t have any money it doesn’t take from people who have earned it. Now then, there are a couple of things you need to know in this regard…first…you’re not all that special, and second…those who have earned the money that pay for all your free crap, are sick and tired of funding your entitled lifestyle.

Okay…all that said, allow me to now address one of your burning, flag burning questions bur-4before I get into the things you really ought to know regarding your arsonist actions.

You want to know why we, on the non-flag burning right side of the political aisle are upset with your burning of the American flag…because…your argument is that it’s only a symbol.


It’s true, that the flag…our American flag…and when I refer to it as “OUR flag,” I am also referring to you…our flag is, indeed, a symbol.

It’s a symbol of freedom, liberty and opportunity. In our country, everyone has the opportunity to do, say, and be whatever they want to do, say or be. No other country offers the range of opportunities that this country does and when you burn the symbol of those opportunities, you are burning the very symbol of the nation that offers them to you.

That would make you an absolute idiot.

That flag is the symbol under which people, throughout our 240 plus year history, have fought and died in the pursuit of protecting your opportunities and to extend such opportunities to other people, in other countries, where the freedoms and liberties you seem to hate so much, didn’t, or don’t exist.

Our flag is a symbol of a nation that has undergone changes, endured, and has striven to make things better for people who, even in our own country, were at points in our historybur-5 denied the freedoms and liberties others enjoyed. It hasn’t always been easy. It hasn’t always been appreciated and it hasn’t always been just…but that flag, the one you so enjoy burning, has flown over the bad times…and the better times and it is exactly the symbol those wishing to make the necessary changes to extend rights, freedoms, liberties and opportunities to all Americans have always followed.

Therefore, when you burn that symbol…you are spitting in the face of all those who have, for centuries, fought for, died for, and made the changes that needed to be made so that all Americans would be equal.

Our symbol of freedom has gone around the world as a symbol of hope for others, flown here as a symbol of justice too long in coming, and been taken into space, to the moon, Mars and other planets…as well as having traveled outside our solar system as a sign of hope, peace, exploration and freedom.

Yeah…it’s just a symbol…and while it hasn’t always been a symbol of what’s righteous at the moment…it HAS alwbur-6ays been a symbol of the fact that we are a nation of, by and for the people and that We the People hold within us the power to make things better, and right the things that are wrong.

Remember, whatever it is that you seem to believe you’re entitled to, is far different than the things you have a right to and when you burn the symbol of what you have a right to, you are burning the symbol of the country that provides you the opportunity to earn what you want.

Okay…here are the things you need to know if you are still contemplating burning an American flag.

First…you liberal ninnies jump up and down, scream and yell while drooling and peeing your pants over climate change because you believe that man is going to destroy the entire planet by burning carbon-based fossil fuels.

Our flag is made of cloth…sometime natural…sometimes man-made…but either way, the flag is carbon based. When you light one on fire, you are…in fact…burning a carbon-based fuel which leaves what you refer to as a carbon footprint.bur-7

Therefore, there is no way you can be both against burning carbon-based fossil fuels and pro flag burning without being an absolute hypocrite.

Second…if you still insist on burning an American flag…you know…as your right to freedom of expression, backed by the symbol your about to set fire to allows…my advice is do a background check on everybody in a 5 block radius before you flick your Bic.

You see…if, in that aforementioned radius, there happens to be an active military member, or a veteran, perhaps a cowboy or any other sort of proud of the U.S.A. patriot…any one of them, or quite possibly all of them, are likely to approach you with great velocity and a ton of momentum…stop abruptly…and then break off the point of their boot in your ass.

Oh, I know you’re going to say that such an action would be assault…but I beg to differ.

The ass is, after all, the SYMBOL of your political affiliation and YOUR ass, being right handy, and readily available…is apt to get lit up…as an expression of THEIR beliefs. It only seems fair, and you people ARE all about what’s fair…that while one symbol gets torched…another has its collective horizons broadened.

And finally…

bur-8Your act of contemplated arson is, in reality, an exercise in futility.

Burning an American flag has never, in the history of this great nation, not once brought about any sort of meaningful change, however…brewing a harbor full of iced tea has.

Therefore, if you’re thinking of lighting Old Glory on fire, as a way to get your point across that you want all your free stuff that other people paid for back…make yourself a glass of iced tea instead because the only thing you’re about to prove by burning an American flag is that you were raised by an entire village of idiots.

But if you must…if you absolutely feel that you MUST burn our flag…please…do us all a favor and wrap yourself in it first. If you do that…you will accomplish two things.

You will make a real statement by burning two symbols at one time…our flagbur-9, and yourself…you being the symbol for abject morons everywhere…and…you will actually make Conservatives pause, and weigh whether or not to extinguish the fire.

Tell ya what…put down the matches, step away from the flag and go make your point by testing people’s reflexes while trying to stop traffic on a busy highway…and good luck with that too.

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