By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.net
While Obama and his socialist ilk do whatever they can to politicize the Oregon shooting tragedy, including going TO Oregon to mastermind the politicizing in PERSON…some on the right, or supposedly on the right, are still having kittens over gay people getting married.
NOT that gay people getting married effects THEM in any way,shape or form but…you would THINK that the holier-than-thous were being forced into ARRANGED marriages with people sporting the same parts as THEY have.
Just a couple of days ago…Pat Robertson reportedly decided to politicize the South Carolina FLOODS by issuing a statement in answer to a call in question…”Are the South Carolina floods a sign from God?”
“Well,” said Robertson…“that’s a mighty fine question. We all know that God’s main weapon of choice for the mass culling of the human race is a flood, so yes, I do think God’s hand is at work in South Carolina.”
And then, he said it…
“I may not have been too sure about the Texas flooding earlier this year but I know for a fact that God was so angry about the Supreme Court’s gay marriage decision, that he deliberately waited for almost four months and then flooded South Carolina as a warning to the rest of us.”
“I just feel awful about all the smiting God will be doing” but,” Robertson added, “Americans should have listened to me when I warned that this kind of thing could happen if the court made the egregious and regrettable decision to treat everyone equally under the law.”
HOW DARE OUR COURTS TREAT EVERYBODY EQUALLY WHY…THAT’S JUST PLAIN…UN-AMERICAN!!!
Oh, never mind.
First of all…it doesn’t take a genius like Pat Robertson to predict a flood if a hurricane comes close to landfall. It takes a meteorologist. Second…he reportedly “knows for a FACT that God was so angry about the Supreme Court decision that he waited almost FOUR MONTHS and THEN flooded South Carolina???”
It’s a thousand year flood which means that somewhere in the vicinity of a thousand years ago, it happened before and if you take Robertson’s word for it…God must have been so PISSED at the GAY INDIANS back then that he flooded THEM out and for good measure…God waited almost 500 years and then sent WHITE SETTLERS over here!!!
Now THAT’S pissed. Makes me wonder why the ice age retreated. Maybe God was in a wad over GAY WOOLY MAMOUTHS!!!
Another caller, dubious over Robertson’s claim, asked “why a Conservative state like South Carolina instead of California or Massachusetts?”
According to reports, Robertson, the holier-than-the-holier-than-thous…“The Lord smites in mysterious ways.”
If I’m not careful here, I’m going to start getting snarky.
Robertson reportedly continued…“Repent!!!” And all of this will go away. I promise you that if we all got together and voted out the liberals who are poisoning our youth and our culture with their feelings and so-called ‘desires’ to ‘make life better and more fair’ for everyone, not a single tragedy will befall this great nation. If Americans just completely give over to God’s control, elect a suitable Christian and allow that man to craft this country again in God’s will, everyone will get richer, there will be peace in the Valley, and literal manna from heaven will drop down for all to feed.”
I feel a snark coming on…
And THEN…crusty old Pat Robertson, according to the reports, went…THERE…“Because while 97% of climate scientists agree that climate change is real and there’s a good chance these megastorms are a result of said climate change, we know that the unprovable whims of an even more unproven, all powerful force that controls the universe. And so we must pay homage to that power by telling adults they are not allowed to love whomever they want, no matter how much free will God gave you.”
Let me see if I have this straight…according to God’s pen pal, Crusty Robertson, there is an UNPROVEN…ALL POWERFUL force that controls the universe with…UNPROVABLE WHIMS???
“Luke, I am your father.”
Robertson wants us all to believe that the “force” is responsible for global warming, or is it God that’s responsible…or is it MAN…I don’t think HE’S even sure but he wants us to vote OUT the liberals and REPLACE them…give our country over to GOD, or the “force” or something because, apparently, Robertson feels that our Founders and Framers were WRONG in creating a nation SANS the direct control of ANY specific religion.
What were they THINKING??? A theocracy was exactly what they were trying to AVOID and what they fought a revolutionary war to be RID of and, in Robertson’s mind…a THEOCRACY is exactly what they should have replaced the THEOCRACY WITH???
AND Robertson wants us all to PAY HOMAGE to the “force, or the weather or God or WHATEVER by “telling adults they are NOT allowed to love whomever they want,” and to stick our FINGER in the EYE of God who GAVE us the free will TO BEGIN WITH!!!
Naturally…if, according to Robertson, we all REPENT…we’ll all get as rich as HE is and there will NEVER AGAIN be another flood, or earthquake, or tornado, and the McRib will be on McDonald’s menu FOREVER and EVER…amen.
Robertson then reportedly intoned that ALL the states are about to suffer the wrath of…something,”While it might be too late for South Carolina, the rest of the states could save themselves.”
Wait a minute here…are we now down to 49 stars on the flag? South Carolina has been turned into a pillar of SALT because God, in his mysterious way SMITED or SMOTE them because MASSACHUSETTS is the liberal Mecca?
Apparently, when God gets steamed, he aim is off.
RUN…RUN FOR YOUR LIVES…DARTH VADER ALMIGHTY IS COMING AND HE’S GONNA KILL US ALL…unless we repent and do away with the whole “all men are created equal,” and “equal protection under the law” thingy.
Pat Robertson couldn’t predict a rise in methane levels at an all you can eat bean burrito breakfast buffet and we’re supposed to believe he predicted South Carolina’s flooding…because God tipped him off…over GAY WEDDINGS??? Sorry, I’m not buying what the old gas-bag is selling.
If GOD wanted to lay waste to South Carolina he wouldn’t have done a slow-burn over it for “almost four months” before he did something. I mean…what in GOD’S name was HIS NAME waiting for?
Oh, that’s right…the WEATHER.
Look…if God really DOES have his holy bloomers in a bunch over gay people…he’s got nobody to blame but himself. After all…he made me the way I am and gay people the way THEY are and if he has the capability to wreak havoc on a state with floods…because gay people are marrying other gay people…why doesn’t he just BITCH-SLAP the GAY outta GAY people and be DONE with it?
Think about it…we have a Muslim in the White House who is trying like HELL to help the ISLAMISTS build a caliphate and wipe Israel…ISRAEL…off the map and God slaps the crap outta SOUTH CAROLINA over gay weddings? ISIS is murdering CHRISTIANS all over the Middle East and North Africa and GOD…goes after SOUTH CAROLINA…because gay people are getting married?
Are you KIDDING ME???
ISLAMISTS are INVADING EUROPE by the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS and they’re bringing their SHARIA LAW with them and God…all-knowing and all powerful…decides South Carolina needs to be taught a lesson???
Let me put it this way…
ISLAM’S MUSLIMS have been doinkin’ donkeys and 6 year old girls for 1400 YEARS while gay marriage has only been protected by law in this country since JUNE and it’s GAY people…marrying other GAY PEOPLE that has given God a case of RED ASS???
Pat Robertson and those who follow him, those who have latched on to the notion that GOD is punishing South Carolina because of gay weddings and are spreading such nonsense, can park their holier-than-thou sacred bull outside because…I DON’T NEED THE SNAKE OIL!!!
Told ya I felt a snark comin’ on.
TODAY, Wednesday, October 7th on RIGHT SIDE PATRIOTS on CPR Worldwide Media from 2 to 4pm EST, Craig Andresen and Diane Sori will discuss Netanyahu’s snub at the U.N., Obama’s apparent placating of Putin in Syria, and Craig vs. Pat Robertson in a snark fest NOT to be missed.
Hope you can tune in
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