Friday Fume

Well…HERE’S a bit of LIBERAL/SOCIALIST WISDOM for ya…

Over in AMSTERDAM…It seems they have a problem with DRUNKS IN THE STREETS so…

THEY ARE PAYING THEM TO CLEAN UP THE STREETS…$13 BUCKS…A HOT MEAL AND…FIVE BEERS A DAY!!!!!

Sounds like a JOB OPPORTUNITY for that CRACK SMOKING MAYOR OF TORONTO…Doesn’t it???

Paula Deen called the guy who robbed her…20 YEARS AGO…a racist slur and now SHE has to live in a cave in Bolivia while…OPRAH SAYS ALL THE OLD WHITE PEOPLE SOUTH OF THE MASON/DIXON LINE HAVE TO DIE AND…4 DAYS LATER…SHE GETS THE MEDAL OF FREEDOM!!!

And…Scientists have found evidence of THE oldest life-form on earth…A 3.5 BILLION year old bacteria.

They’re calling it the…HARRIUM REIDUM DUMB-DUMB BACTERIUM!!!

It’s Friday friends and Patriots and…

I’m fuming.

Ummmmm….

Last week I gave you the idiot from PERU who married a TREE in ARGENTINA…Well…

Now we have word of ANOTHER marriage and…ANOTHER IDIOT!!!

It seem that Linda Ducharme has married the love of her life over the last 30 years.

Bruce…

Bruce is the name she gave to…THE FERRIS WHEEL SHE SAID, “I DO” TO!!!!

Yep…A FREAK AND A FREAKIN’ FERRIS WHEEL!!!

Now…You may well wonder about LOONY LINDA’S past relationships.

SHE HAD PREVIOUSLY DATED AN AIRPLANE AND HAD…INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH A…TRAIN!!!

I am NOT making ANY of this up.

Now…She’s married to a Ferris wheel.

She says she suffers from a condition that makes her love…INANIMATE OBJECTS…Which kind of explains the whole relationship Teresa KETCHUP Kerry has with LURCH but, I digress…

Just so we don’t have to go through this every week…

Jodi Rose, an “artist” from down under has married a 600 YEAR OLD BRIDGE…I hope he’s as loaded as that SKELETOR bone bag ANNA NICOLE married and…

Some OTHER left wing NUT, Ed Smith, who has claimed to have done the HORIZONTAL HONDA MAMBA with at least…100 CARS…Has gotten HITCHED to a…1970’s VW BEETLE!!!

How the HELL would I know???

THE EXHAUST PIPE MAYBE???

I mean…I loved MY first car but…I didn’t LOVE my first car…

Look…All I know is that these JUNK HUMPERS need a CHECK UP FROM THE NECK UP and preferably BEFORE…THEY ENTER A VOTING BOOTH IN 2014!!!!!

Fuming.

Really???

Kmart is in the news.

It seems that the BATMOBILE KIDDE RIDE, outside the Kmart in Toms River NJ has been…STOLEN!!!

Police in Toms River say that: A) They don’t know HOW it disappeared and B) THEY HAVE NO SUSPECTS!!!

Ummmmm…A) IT’S THE BATMOBILE…Probably DROVE it awayand B) THE JOKER…CATWOMAN…THE PENGUIN AND THE RIDDLER ALL SPRING TO MIND!!!

If you happen to be driving near Route 37 and…You see the CAPED CRUSADER…walking near the road…YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE HIM A LIFT!!!

But that’s not the ONLY reason Kmart is in this week’s Fume.

We have black thugs running amok, trying to KNOCK OUT WHITE PEOPLE…OF ALL AGES…MEN OR WOMEN…WITH SUCKER PUNCHES AND…SO FAR…5 PEOPLE HAVE DIED and the biggest problem SOME people have is…

A KMART, JOE BOXER AD???

There appears to be a bunch of LIBERAL MORONS out there JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO CLAIM THEY ARE OFFENDED OVER and they want the JINGLE BALL…BELLS AD PULLED OFF THE AIR???

Did these NOZZLES hear the crap spewed by MARTIN BASHIR AND ORCA WINFREY???

Oh yeah…They’re LIBERALS and THAT nauseating vulgarity FITS THEIR AGENDA but…

PLAYING JINGLE BAL…BELLS IN YOUR SHORTS…IS OFFENSIVE?????

On the off chance that the OFFENDED are LIBERAL LESBIANS…WITH NO IDEA WHAT IS INSIDE THOSE BOXERS…Allow me to shed some light…

A CLAPPER AND 2 BEL…BALLS!!!!

It’s NOT offensive…IT’S BRILLIANTLY FUNNY!!!!!

What they are ACTUALLY offended by is…CHRISTMAS…not the ad.

IF THOSE GUYS TURNED AROUND AND BUGLED BELAFONTE’S “BANANA BOAT“  THROUGH THE BACK OF THEIR BOXERS…

THEY’D GET NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY!!!!!

I’m fuming.

We’re less than a week from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and now, we have word that ANIMAL RIGHTS PROTESTERS will be LINING the route to make a scene over the SHAMU, SEA WORLD FLOAT AND…THE JOAN JETTLESS SOUTH DAKOTA FLOAT!!!

It seems there is some pantie wadding over allegations that SEA WORLD doesn’t treat their KILLER WHALES good enough and…THEY’RE IN A SNIT BECAUSE…CATTLE RANCHERS FROM SOUTH DAKOTA GOT VEGETARIAN, JOAN JETT, KICKED OFF THEIR FLOAT!!!

Proof that if you eat nothing but bean sprouts…YOUR BRAINS TURN INTO GARBANZO DIP!!!!!

First of all…Sea World is FANTASTIC and there is NO evidence other than a CONTRIVED “documentary” to show they do ANYTHING but treat the creatures there with THE UTMOST CARE and second…

I THINK THE CATTLE RANCHERS…SOUTH DAKOTA’S NUMBER ONE ECONOMIC MONEY MAKERS…HAVE EVERY RIGHT NOT TO WANT A VEGAN WHO LOBBIES AGAINST THEM…ON THEIR FLOAT!!!

Macy’s says Joan Jett and the Blackhearts WILL be on a DIFFERENT float and that SEA WORLD is A-OK WITH THEM!!!

If you happen to be in New York on TURKEY Day…HAVE BATMAN BUY THOSE PETA POOPS A CHILLI DOG!!!!!

I’m Fuming.

And finally…

We have learned MORE about the Obamacare disaster…

YOU KNOW THE WEBSITE NANCY PELOSI SAYS IS WORKING JUST FINE…WELL…THE PART OF IT THAT ACCEPTS PAYMENTS…ISN’T EVEN BUILT YET!!!

The PAYMENT PORTAL…IS ONLY HALF FINISHED…AT BEST which means that of the 106,000 who have “ENROLLED” in SOCIALISM…

NOT A SINGLE ONE HAS PAYED THEIR HIGHER PREMIUMS!!!!!

Obamacare is OPEN FOR BUSINESS but…THEY CAN’T DO ANY BUSINESS!!!

I have never, IN MY LIFE…Seen a store of ANY kind OPEN…WITHOUT A CASH REGISTER!!!!!

But, that’s government for ya.

THEY KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT OPERATING A BUSINESS THAT THEY FORGOT THAT THEY NEED A WAY TO TAKE THE MONEY!!!

Idiots.

What we have with this SHARP AS A BAG OF DOOR KNOBS OCCUPIER OF THE OVAL is…

An IDIOT who has no idea that the IRS was targeting conservative…NO idea that his NSA was SPYING ON ALL AMERICANS…NOT A CLUE THAT THEY WERE SPYING ON THE LEADERS OF OUR ALLIED NATIONS…Didn’t know ONE SINGLE THING about FAST AND FURIOUS under his watch…DIDN’T KNOW THAT THE ATTACKS IN BENGHAZI WERE THE DOING OF AL QAEDA but…

HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT…YOUR…INSURANCE NEEDS ARE!!!

In fact…THIS COMPLETE MORON…ABSOLUTELY KNOWS…BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT…THAT IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A CLAPPER AND 2 BELL…BALLS…IN YOUR BOXERS…

YOU MUST HAVE…CAN’T EXIST WITHOUT AND WILL NEED…

MATERNITY CARE!!!!!

Last week…BARACK “SUPER GENIUS” OBAMA TOLD YOU THAT YOU REALLY COULD KEEP THE PLANS YOU LIKED…FOR 1 MORE YEAR…EVEN AFTER THEY WERE CANCELLED BY YOUR INSURANCE CARRIER…BEFORE HE FOUND OUT FROM THE INSURANCE CARRIERS THAT HE SHOULD HAVE ASKED THEM…FIRST…BECAUSE…GUESS WHAT???

YOU CAN’T!!!

But wait…There’s more…

You can’t keep your plan even though you LIKED your plan and now, we discover…

You AREN’T THE only ONES BEING DROPPED BY YOUR INSURANCE CARRIERS…

SO ARE YOUR DOCTORS!!!

YOU…AND YOUR DOCTORS…ARE BEING DROPPED BY INSURANCE CARRIERS FASTER THAN ANTHONY WEINER CAN DROP HIS PANTS and then…There’s this…

According to a group of computer know-it-alls, commonly referred to as a HERD OF NERDS…In the house hearing a couple days ago…

The Obamacare website is…A HACKER’S DREAM!!!!!

Yep…Those 106,000 who haven’t been able to PAY a dime via the DISASTER.GOV OBAMACARE WEBSITE…HAVE ALREADY LOADED ALL THEIR PERSONAL INFORMATION INTO THE THING!!!!!

Not 1…NOT 1 OF THE 4 WEBSITE SECURITY NERDS IN THE HEARING SAID THAT THEY WOULD PUT ANY…OF THEIR PERSONAL INFO INTO THE SITE!!!

So…There is absolutely NO way for you to PAY INTO Obamacare on the website but…HACKERS CAN TAKE ALL YOUR INFO…OUT OF THE OBAMACARE WEBSITE!!!

Here again, we find government getting in the middle of things for no good reason.

If we WANTED to give all out personal information to identity thieves…WHY COULDN’T WE JUST PUT IT ALL ON FACEBOOK AND LET THEM TAKE IT WITHOUT THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION ACTING AS THE MIDDLE MAN????

And then, in the middle of a photo op, with Sebelius grinning like a possum and cameras rolling…

THE OBAMACARE WEBSITE…CRASHED…AGAIN!!!

On the up side…THE AP FOR YOUR SMART PHONE…THAT ALERTS YOU TO LOCATIONS STILL SELLING THE…McRIB SANDWICH…BEFORE IT GOES AS DEFUNCT AS YOUR SUBSTANDARD BUT WELL LIKED INSURANCE POLICY…WAS CREATED IN LESS THAN A WEEK AND…IS WORKING 100% OF THE TIME AND YOUR SKY HIGH CHOLESTEROL…WOULD…BE COVERED IF ONLY BUYING HEALTH INSURANCE WAS AS EASY AND AFFORDABLE AS BUYING A PHONE ON AMAZON!!!!

But all is not lost…You can still use the old phone and paper method of signing up for Obamacare just like Shane Smith in Ft. Collins Colorado did.

In fact…Smith just got a letter FROM Obamacare telling HIM that…

THEY SIGNED UP HIS DOG…BAXTER…INSTEAD OF HIM!!!!!

According to Smith…”I think they fixed it.”

BAXTER WAS…WAS…AN AKC REGISTERED, BLUE RIBBON WINNING YORKIE…STUD DOG…AND…THEY “FIXED” IT?????

I’m padlocking my boxers…Keeping MY ball…BELLS of St Mary’s COVERED and going NOWHERE NEAR THAT BLOOMIN’ OBAMACARE WEBSITE!!!

It IS Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!

3 thoughts on “Friday Fume

  1. They just keep getting better and better. You just can’t get better material, than the idiocy of this Administration and the Left. Wow….. Craig….. YOU ROCKED IT THIS WEEK. WAY TOO FUNNY!!

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