Friday Fume

What a week.

We have a new Secretary of What Difference Does it Make…An Iran loving Israel hating nominee for Secretary of Defense…The Job’s Council has shut down after meeting 4 times in 2 years and doing nothing and GITMO is still OPEN but the office charged with closing it DOWN…CLOSED DOWN.

Forget Groundhog’s Day…Tomorrow, a SOCIALIST will pull his head out of his hole…See his shadow in the bright light of TRUTH and WE’LL HAVE 4 MORE YEARS OF INSANITY!!!!!

Today is Friday Patriots and…

I’m fuming.

Oh please.

REALLY?

The Department of Homeland Insecurity has issued their guidelines as to what to do when attacked by someone wielding a gun.

Apparently, in a game of rock, scissors, GUN,,,THE SCISSORS WIN!!!

According to DHS…If someone confronts you in your home of office, with a gun…GRAB YOUR SCISSORS!!!

However…do NOT chase the gunman because…RUNNING WITH SCISSORS IS DANGEROUS!!!!!

I really wish they’d stop smoking crack in this useless administration.

Is the guy with the gun going to intimidated by scissors???

Listen, just because we never hear of a SCRAPBOOKING STORE getting robbed at GUNPOINT…THERE IS NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO BELIEVE YOU CAN STOP A SHOOTING WITH…SCISSORS.

Of course, they offer OTHER top-notch suggestions like…HIDE SOMEWHERE WHERE THE GUNMAN WON’T THINK TO LOOK…LIKE UNDER YOUR DESK???

Are these the same desks that the government wanted us all hiding under in the 50’s and 60’s in case of a NUCLEAR ATTACK?????

I SWEAR I’m NOT making this up…

Allow me to offer a few tips.

Unless your attacker is a man and…naked…THE PENCIL SHARPENER WILL NOT BE DEEMED SCARY!!!

The paperclip holder can be a useful weapon however…HIGH CAPACITY PAPERCLIP HOLDERS SHOULD BE BANNED AS NOBODY BUT NOBODY NEED MORE THAN TEN PAPERCLIPS…Except for law enforcement, bodyguards for socialists, the social security agency and serial clippers who won’t pay attention to the law anyway.

And…Pens that don’t write anymore. USE THOSE!!!

They MUST be good for SOMETHING or you wouldn’t have 6 OF THEM IN THE CENTER DRAWER OF YOUR DESK!!!!!

It never even DAWNED on the Department of Homeland Insecurity that, if YOU had your OWN gun…YOU WOULDN’T BE PINNING YOUR HOPES AND YOUR LIFE ON SCISSORS!!!!!

Fuming.

Apparently, a MONKEY flew out of AHMADINEJAD’S ASS AND MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO…SPACE!!!!

There is no word as to whether or not it tried to throw poop at the International Space Station.

Let’s, for a moment, set aside the implications of a country building their own NUKES toying with something that could be an INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE…

Can you even imaging an IRANIAN MANNED SPACE PROGRAM?????

In space…Nobody can hear the call to prayers.

I guess it’s not enough for Iran to be considered the biggest bunch of MANIACS ON EARTH…THEY WANT TO EXPAND THEIR INSANITY INTO ORBIT!!!!

The next thing ya know…That little crotch maggot is gonna claim they sent a JIHADIST TO MARS!!!!!

Look…I KNOW it was just a monkey AND they may NOT have actually accomplished what WE accomplished in 1948 BUT…

Just the claim of it means…IRAN IS CLOSER TO SENDING A MAN INTO SPACE RIGHT NOW THAN WE ARE!!!!!

WE’RE USING IRAN’S ALLY…RUSSIA…TO GET OUR ASTRONAUTS UP THERE!!!

What could go wrong???

I don’t CARE whether or not they shot BONZO into space…WHAT I CARE ABOUT IS WHAT ELSE THEY’RE GONNA PUT ON TOP OF A MISSILE!!!

Let me tell you something.

A MONKEY CAN BE TRAINED TO ARM A NUKE and if you don’t believe it…IRAN HAS ALREADY TRAINED ONE TO STAND AT THE U.N. PODIUM AND GIVE THE FINGER TO THE CIVILIZED WORLD!!!!!

I’m fuming.

Is Socialist Senator Bob Menendez moonlighting for the SECRET SERVICE???

It seems this moron may well have been checking out the junkets in under aged Dominican Republic hookers trunkets.

Menendez actually ADMITS he has flown, several times, TO the Dominican Republic on a private jet…OWNED BY A DOCTOR WHO, APPARENTLY WAS GIVING THE ETHICALLY CHALLENGED SENATOR ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN DONATIONS…

But of course, he says there’s NOTHING to the hooker allegations.

The hookers are telling a different story.

The Daily Caller translated some emails that go all the way back to 2002!!!

In one, a woman who was part of the BUNGA BUNGA SEX PARTIES claims: “That Senator also likes the youngest and newest girls.”

“In the beginning he seemed so serious, because he never spoke to anyone, but he is just like the others and has just about the same tastes as the doctor, very refined. I think they were taking us more often to get us checked [medically] because of him.”

Well…Cleanliness IS next to…OH-MY-GODLINESS!!!!!!!

The jet owning doc, Melgen, runs the Vitreo-Retinal Consultants Eye Center in West Palm Beach Florida and his offices were raided by the FBI a couple days ago.

THIS DOOFUS RUNS AN EYE CLINIC AND HE NEVER SAW THE FBI COMING???

According to Senator HORNEY’S office: “Dr. Melgen has been a friend and political supporter of Senator Menendez for many years. Senator Menendez has traveled on Dr. Melgen’s plane on three occasions, all of which have been paid for and reported appropriately. Any allegations of engaging with prostitutes are manufactured by a politically-motivated right-wing blog and are false.”

I’m guessing the prostitutes were quite surprised when he didn’t look anything the pictures he sent them of ANTHONY WEINER!!!!!

THIS IS THE SAME MORON WHO HAD AN ILLEGAL ALIEN WHO WAS A SEX OFFENDER WORKING IN HIS OFFICE AND CLAIMS HE DIDN’T KNOW A THING ABOUT IT!!!!!

ICE DELAYED ARRESTING THE SEX OFFENDING INTERN UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTION SO IT WOULDN’T LOOK BAD FOR MENENDEZ AND NOW…THIS???

According to one of the women paid to debrief the Senator…JUST LIKE THE SECRET SERVICE IN SOUTH AMERICA…SHE GOT STIFFED…ON THE BILL!!! Instead of the agreed to 500 bucks…SHE ONLY GOT 1 BENJAMIN FROM BOB!!!!!

Fuming!!

And finally…

It’s Super Bowl Weekend and, as if on cue…

SOCIALISTS ARE NOW TALKING ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT REGULATING THE NFL!!!!!

Oh yeah…THAT’S goona go well.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

THIS IS LIKE AN IRANIAN SPACE MONKEY GETTING FRIENDLY WITH A FOOTBALL!!!!!

Rep. Bill Pascrell (SOCIALIST-NJ) claims growing support in Congress for new NFL regulations, including…

GOVERNMENT…MANDATED…ON-FIELD SAFETY EDUCATION PROGRAMS!!!!!  

Can you even IMAGINE that sort of GOVERNMENT EDUCATION???

Here’s a question…HOW ARE WE GONNA KNOW IF A PLAYER PASSES THE PROGRAM SINCE SOCIALISTS ARE DOING THEIR LEVEL BEST TO PASS FAILING STUDENTS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS???

David Carr, over at the NYT mused about new helmet technology being necessary to prevent traumatic brain injury on the field.

Hmmm…

WHAT’S BILL PASCRELL’S EXCUSE?????

BEFORE ANYBODY STARTS MANDATING REGULATIONS FOR THE NFL…HOW ABOUT DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THE BRAIN-DAMAGED SOCIALISTS IN CONGRESS???????

YOU PEOPLE CAN’T EVEN KEEP YOUR SECRETARY OF MISSTATEMENTS FROM GETTING CONCUSSED!!!!!

IT’S FOOTBALL…

PEOPLE ARE GONNA GET HURT!!!!!

If players DON’T realize that GOING IN…IT’S BECAUSE THEY WENT TO GOVERNMENT RUN PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!

Of course, this all started when THE DICTATOR SAID HE WOULD HAVE TO THINK LONG AND HARD IF HIS HYPOTHETICAL SON WANTED TO PLAY FOOTBALL!!!

Is this the same imaginary son that looks like Treyvon Martin???

MAYBE HE CAN SET UP BARRY JR. ON A DATE WITH MANTI TE’O’S GIRLFRIEND…

THAT WAY…OBAMA CAN START TALKING ABOUT HIS IMAGINARY GRANDCHILDREN!!!!!!

Said the Mandater in Chief of possible changes to the NFL: “In some cases, that may make it a little bit less exciting. But it will be a whole lot better for the players, and those of us who are fans maybe won’t have to examine our consciences quite as much.”

HOW EXACTLY CAN WE “EXAMINE OUR CONSCIENCES” LESS THAN ZERO???

WHO THE HELL SITS AROUND AFTER A GAME AND SAYS…”GEE WIZ…MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TACKLED THAT GUY SO HARD. MAN…I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK…I’M GOING TO HAVE TO EXAMINE MY CONSCIENCE OVER THIS!!!”

NOBODY!!!!!

THE REPLACEMENT REFS DIDN’T EVEN DO THAT AND IF ANYBODY SHOULD HAVE…

Let the SOCIALISTS IN GOVERNMENT GRAB HOLD OF FOOTBALL AND THEY’LL START WITH MARSHMALLOW HELMETS TO KEEP SOMEBODY’S HEAD FROM GETTING HURT and before you know it…THEY’LL MAKE KEEPING SCORE ILLEGAL BECAUSE SOMEBODY’S FEELINGS MIGHT GET HURT!!!!

Let me explain this to you as calmly as I possibly can…

DOES ANYBODY REALLY THINK THAT THE EXACT SAME PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU TO PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST A GUN WIELDING ATTACKER WITH SCISSORS CAN DO ANYTHING TO MAKE FOOTBALL SAFER???

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO…PREVENT QUARTERBACK SACKS WITH PINK STICKY NOTES?????

Oh…It’s Friday and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!!

One thought on “Friday Fume

  1. Scissors was a wonderful idea & once Home Land Security outlaws guns then they will come for our scissors.

    Might read this book out about good Americans who take a stand against federal tyranny & end up starting the 2nd American Revolution. ( booksbyoliver.com ) At least someone is doing something about regaining our freedoms.

    Oh, the old pens in the desk drawer will also be a good weapon, but only at close range. Great, weekly update. Thanks.

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