Friday Fume

If you think YOU had a tough time getting through this week…

At least it wasn’t revealed that YOUR fake girlfriend, who was in a fake car accident and diagnosed with fake cancer and who died a fake death wasn’t real.

Maybe Manti can go on Oprah and offer a fake apology.

Chances are…Nobody’s SUING YOU for doping to win bike races…

See…You’re cheering up already!!!

My friends…It’s Friday and…To paraphrase a great patriot…

”I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FUME!!!

Well, well…

129 days LATER, upon hearing of a good place to get a STRAWBERRY FRAPPE…

The head of the FBI has made his way to LIBYA to ask a few questions regarding…

What was it again???

Oh yeah…

BENGHAZI!!!!!

Good grief…

FBI Director Robert Mueller discussed the case in TRIPOLI with senior officials, including the prime minister, justice minister and intelligence chief.

Well…THAT should wrap things up huh???

I understand that while Mueller was there…

HE PUT A BRAND NEW…”GUN FREE ZONE” SIGN ON THE EMBASSY AND ASKED THE PRIME MINISTER TO KINDLY HAVE ALL THE TERRORISTS REGISTER THEIR WEAPONS!!!!!!!

You think I’m KIDDING????

Libyan Prime Minister Ali Zidan told Mueller on Wednesday that 18,000 new “police recruits” would be dispatched to the city to enforce a new CURFEW from midnight to 5am!!!

Yeah…BECAUSE TERRORISTS WILL BEHAVE THEMSELVES IF THERE’S A CHANCE THEY’LL GET GROUNDED AND NOT BE ALLOWED TO GO TO THE MARTYR’S DANCE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!

What’s AMAZING is that if one of the Benghazi 4 HAD A FAKE GIRLFRIEND WHO DIED ON SEPTEMBER 11TH…THE PRAVDA PRESS WOULD BE COVERING BENGHAZI 24-7 UNTIL WE HAD ANSWERS!!!!!

I mean…All WE lost the same day Manti lost his pretend girlfriend was AN AMBASSADOR AND 3 FORMER MEMBERS OF THE MILITARY!!!!!!!

Keep moving…Nothing to see here…We’ll get around to sending the FBI director to verify a new CURFEW 4 MONTHS LATER!!!!!

Fuming.

Oh boy…Over the last few days, a bunch of kids, 6 and 7 year olds in Maryland, have been getting suspended from schools for playing cops and robbers while using their fingers as guns.

According to local Maryland media:

“There’s controversy at a Talbot County school after two 6-year-old boys were suspended while playing cops and robbers during recess and using their fingers to make an imaginary gun.”

“This is the second time a Maryland child (sic) has been suspended for such play. Earlier this month, 6-year-old Rodney Lynch was suspended from his Montgomery County school after pretending to fire an imaginary gun more than once.”

Little Rodney must have has a HIGH CAPACITY IMAGINARY CLIP!!!

Yes…assault fingers are now against the law.

PROCTOLOGISTS BEWARE…

OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!

To the best of my knowledge, no child has ever been wounded by a finger gun on a playground, however, I DID once read about a kid who put his sharpened pencil on his pants pocket before going out to play where he fell down and…

Well…

Let’s just say, as the result of being rendered a eunuch, he now votes democrat.

Anyway…

I guarantee YOU THAT THE KIDS ACTING THE PART OF THE “ROBBERS” stole THEIR finger guns AND WOULD HAVE never REGISTERED THEM regardless of the IMPERIAL ORDERS!!!

Apparently, the little HOOLIGANS violated the ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY ON HAVING FUN!!!!!

Naturally, the DICTATOR got all OVER this like BLUE BAGS ON A BABOONS BUTT and next week, he’ll hold a press conference featuring children who wrote him letters BEGGING HIM TO LIMIT THE LENGTH OF RECESS!!!!!

First, REAL guns are banned from schools and now…IT’S AN IMAGINARY GUN FREE ZONE???

Thank GOD none of these kids has MORE THAN 10 FINGERS!!!!!

I’m fuming.

Oh, I HATE when this happens…

Police in New York have run afoul of the law.

Yep.

3 of them are being investigated by Internal Affairs for sipping on Big Gulps and…

ALL OF THEM ARE IN VIOLATION OF NEW YORK’S NEW GUN LAWS!!!!!

Here’s the skinny…

Cumo was SO quick to pull the trigger and sign his new gun bans into law that…NOBODY NOTICED THERE WAS NO EXEMPTION FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS ON THE 10 BULLET CLIP LIMIT!!!

You see…Cops carry 9mm weapons with clips that hold…15 ROUNDS!!!

Want to know why???

BECAUSE…CRIMINALS WHO DON’T GIVE A BLUE BABOON’S BUTT ABOUT THE NEW RESTRICTIONS CARRY HIGH CAPACITY CLIPS!!!!!!

Until the law can be rewritten…EVERY COP IN THE STATE ON NEW YORK SHOULD BE ARRESTED but…By WHOM?????

Meanwhile, I’m certain, each and every gang banger is registering their weapons, pulling up their pants and keeping their fingers in their pockets.

The problem is…NY just HATES playing 2nd fiddle to CHICAGO and, with any luck…

NEW YORK’S MURDER RATE WILL CLIMB AS A RESULT OF THESE NEW LAWS SO THEY CAN RECLAIM THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE AT THE TOP OF THE STATISTICS MOUNTAIN!!!

Until they get this insane law rewritten, COPS in NY SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO CARRY NO MORE THAN 10 BULLETS AND GET AN IDEA WHAT THE REST OF NEW YORKERS FEEL LIKE!!!

I’m Fuming!!

And finally…

The Dictator sure knows how to put the “PROP” in PROPAGANDA doesn’t he?

Those kids at the Dictator’s Decree Dump the other day were nothing but cogs in the gears of socialism.

They wrote to the Dictator and they got on TV.

HOW SWEET!!!!!

OUR NATIONAL POLICY IS NOW BEING WRITTEN IN CRAYON!!!!!!!

What’s amazing is that these kids can write LETTERS and…

THE DUDE THE DICTATOR WANTS TO BE THE SECTRETARY OF THE TREASURY…CAN’T EVEN WRITE HIS OWN NAME!!!!!

Now…If we could just get a couple of kids with piggy banks who have to do chores to earn their allowance…TO WRITE LETTERS ASKING THIS PUTZ TO PASS A BUDGET AND CUT SPENDING!!!!!

Did ya get a look at the 23 decrees???

HALF OF THEM WERE A TO-DO LIST…AN IMPERIAL VERSION OF A STRING TIED TO A FINGER GUN!!!

Take #1 for instance…”Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system. “

THIS MORON MADE HIS NUMBER ONE, MOST IMPORTAND DECREE…TO ISSUE A MEMO?????

How about number 3…”Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system.”

“IMPROVE INCENTIVES” MEANS…BETTER BRIBES!!!!!!! HE KNOWS…JUST LIKE OBAMACARE…HE CAN’T GET ANY OF THIS DONE UNLESS HE BRIBES PEOPLE TO DO IT!!!!!

Then there’s #5…”Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun. “

EXCUSE ME BUT…ONE OF THE DICTATOR’S DECREES IS TO MAKE A PROPOSAL??? THIS IDIOT HAS ACTUALLY MANDATED THAT HE, HIMSELF, MAKE A SUGGESTION TO MAKE SOME RULES???

WHAT THE HELL?????

Let’s not forget #11…Nominate an ATF director.” 

THE DICTATOR ACTUALLY ISSUED AN IMPERIAL DECREE TO NOMINATE AN ATF DIRECTOR??? LIKE THAT WOULDN’T HAPPEN IF HE DIDN’T INCLUDE IT IN THE DECREE???

REALLY???????

HE’S PADDING THE LIST LIKE A 3RD GRADER PADS A BOOK REPORT!!!

Oh…My FAVORITE is Number 10!!!

“Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement. “

HELLO???

DOES THIS MEAN WE FINALLY GET A LOOK AT ALL THE FAST AND FURIOUS DOCUMENTS HE EXERTED IMPERIAL SECRECY OVER???

THOSE ARE GUNS LOST BY THE DOJ AREN’T THEY?????

And how about all those decrees giving DOCTORS permission to ask you about your guns???

THE DICTATOR’S OWN PALACE GUARDS CAN’T KEEP THEIR WEAPONS OF MASS REPORDUCTION IN THEIR HOLSTERS WHILE ON A SOUTH AMERICAN TRIP AND NOW…

HE GIVES PERMISSION FOR A DOCTOR TO GRAB MINE AND TELL ME TO TURN MY HEAD AND CAUGH UP WHAT I HAVE AT HOME TO PROTECT MY FAMILY AND MY LIBERTY???

Of course, if a good looking NURSE did it…I wouldn’t even have to TELL her about my long rifle with a hair trigger…

HERE’S A QUESTION…

WHY EVEN GO TO A DOCTOR???

IF YOU WANT A FULL PHYSICAL…JUST GO TO THE AIRPORT!!!!!

THE TSA DOESN’T GIVE A CRAP WHAT YOU HAVE AT HOME…THEY JUST WANT TO BE SURE YOU’RE NOT CARRYING ONTO A PLANE AND…

THEY’LL X-RAY YOU AND CHECK YOUR PROSTATE ON THE PROCESS!!!!!

It’s Friday Patriots and…

HOLY CATS…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!!!!

4 thoughts on “Friday Fume

  1. So, will we require these kids to obtain a CCW permit before they can put their hands in their pockets? And if we spot one with his finger up his nose, should we initiate an immediate mental health intervention to determine his state of mind? If so, how do we confiscate his “weapon?”

  2. Even I, your favorite Democratic Socialist, enjoyed the heck out of this one. You always make me laugh with the over-the-top suggestions. Keep up the great work Craig. Love ya lots brother.

  3. I love it.. I think you hit all pertinent parts LOL… also love the supporting pics! Keep up the good work.