Friday Fume

Well my friends…Here we are, staring a brand new year square in the face.

What a year it’s been huh?

52 weeks…52 Fridays…

52 FUMES!!!!!

Since we all made it through the Mayan end of the world, ate far too much between Thanksgiving and Christmas and are now facing the fiscal cliff, higher taxes and more government intrusion into our lives and homes…

We have a couple of choices.

We can either let the pressure build up until we explode or…

We can take a few minutes at the end of the week to let off a little steam and laugh at the socialist idiots.

I choose the latter.

It’s Friday Patriots and…

I’m fuming.

New Year’s Eve just won’t be the same in Brasstown North Carolina this year.

For the past 19 years, the folks there have celebrated by…

LOWERING a ‘POSSUM in a cage from the top of a building and then…SETTING IT FREE IN THE WOODS.

Not any more.

PETA sued them for animal cruelty and put an end to the fun.

So…This year…event organizer, Clay Logan, the owner of Clay’s Corner Store,  says they’re working on a plan.

It could well employ…

ROAD KILL!!!

NOW we’re talking!!!!!

Apparently, near Brasstown, like pretty much everywhere else…”POSSUMS have a habit of running out onto the road and getting run over.

Basically, Brasstown has 3 more days to collect a freshly squished critter, load it up in a cage and drop it at the stroke of midnight!!!

I don’t know…It just seems to be lacking a little pizazz if ya can’t let it loose in the woods after the party.

Therefore, I would like to offer a suggestion.

A ROAD KILL CANNON!!!

Scoop up a flattened “possum…Drop it down the barrel of one of those old Civil War cannons…Toss in a couple bags of confetti and…

Ready…Aim…FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

Heck…They could put a GPS tracker on the carcass and sell raffle tickets based on how far the fur will fly!!!

The WINNER would get the honor of lighting next year’s fuse…$1,000.00 CASH and a NEW SET OF GOODYEAR ‘POSSUM KILLER TIRES FOR THEIR TRUCK!!!!!!!

The GOOD news is…DROPPING a ‘POSSUM was fun but…LAUNCHING ONE INTO LOW ORBIT WOULD BE A BLAST!!!

The BAD news is…PETA IS GONNA GO AFTER PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL AND WE’LL NEVER KNOW WHEN WINTER IS GONNA END!!!

Fuming.

Good grief…

The Obamas or…Obami…sent out warm holiday wishes for…

KWANZAA!!!!

“Michelle and I send our warmest wishes to all those celebrating Kwanzaa this holiday season. Today marks the beginning of the week-long celebration honoring African American heritage and culture through the seven principles of Kwanzaa — unity, self determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith.
We celebrate Kwanzaa at a time when many African Americans and all Americans reflect on our many blessings and memories over the past year and our aspirations for the year to come. And even as there is much to be thankful for, we know that there are still too many Americans going through enormous challenges and trying to make ends meet. But we also know that in the spirit of unity, or Umoja, we can overcome those challenges together.”

Ummm…Kwanza was INVENTED by Ron Karenga, founder of a rival militant group of the BlacKKK Panthers.

5 years after inventing Kwanzaa…Karenga was CONVICTED of ASSAULT in the BEATING AND TORTURE OF 2 WOMEN!!!!!

Here’s a little clip from the 1971 trial testimony:

“Deborah Jones, who once was given the Swahili title of an African queen, said she and Gail Davis were whipped with an electrical cord and beaten with a karate baton after being ordered to remove their clothes. She testified that a hot soldering iron was placed in Miss Davis’ mouth and placed against Miss Davis’ face and that one of her own big toes was tightened in a vise. Karenga, head of US, also put detergent and running hoses in their mouths, she said. They also were hit on the heads with toasters.”

I have BREAKING NEWS for the Idiot in Chief…

KWANZA IS NOT A CELEBRATION OF AFRICAN CULTURE AND HERITAGE…IT’S A CELEBRATION OF SOCIALISM WHIPPED UP FROM CALIFORNIA IN 1966 BY A FUTURE CRIMINAL WHO NEARLY KILLED 2 WOMEN!!!

And for THAT…HE and MOOCHELLE SEND THEIR WARMEST WISHES?????

What’s NEXT…A JEFFERY DAHMER PROGRESSIVE DINNER PARTY???????

Well…What can we expect from a doofus who hangs MAO ornaments on his HOLIDAY tree in the WHITE HOUSE???

I’m Fuming!!

Is ANYBODY taking this toilet float of an administration seriously when they’re preaching “GUN CONTROL?????”

ANYBODY??? I mean OTHER than SOCIALISTS?????

May I take you all back to late June of this year when the Department of Homeland Insecurity…AFTER ARMING THE MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS… instructed their ARMED BORDER AGENTS TO…

“RUN AWAY AND HIDE IF SHOOTING STARTS!!!”

According to one who took the mandatory course…“We are now taught in an ‘Active Shooter’ course that if we encounter a shooter in a public place we are to ‘run away’ and ‘hide.’ If we are cornered by such a shooter we are to (only as a last resort) become ‘aggressive’ and ‘throw things’ at him or her. We are then advised to ‘call law enforcement’ and wait for their arrival (presumably, while more innocent victims are slaughtered).”

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!!!

Think about it…When the shooting started in Benghazi…What exactly did this administration do???

“STAND DOWN…STAND DOWN!!!!!”

In Afghanistan…WHEN THE TALIBAN TRAINEES STARTED SHOOTING AT AND KILLING THEIR U.S. MILITARY TRAINERS…what exactly did this socialist administration do???

THEY DISARMED THE U.S. MILITARY TRAINERS!!!!!

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WANT US TO TRUST THEM TO KEEP OUR CHILDREN SAFE???

And what precisely did they do to those who actually WANTED to shoot back???

THEY SMOKED GENERAL HAM AND NOW A REAR ADMIRAL IS SOMEWHERE PLAYING WITH TOY BOATS IN A BATH TUB!!!!!!!

Call me crazy but I think we need to SHOOT AT THE BAD PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO KILL US!!! DOESN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE THAN…THROWING THINGS AT THEM FROM A HIDING PLACE?????

WHAT THEY ARE ADVOCATING IS, TAKING THE GUNS AWAY FROM GOOD PEOPLE SO THAT ONLY THE BAD GUYS WILL HAVE THEM AND THAT…THEY CLAIM…WILL KEEP US ALL SAFE!!!!

AND WHO GETS TO ENFORCE THESE NEW LAWS???

ERIC HOLDER…THE SAME ERIC HOLDER WHO TOOK PART IN THE ARMED TAKEOVER OF AN ROTC BUILDING IN 1973!!!!!

And THEY have the NERVE to say that the NRA is INSANE?????

Seriously…

Question the competence of these yahoos and…

They always fall back on the DUMBEST retort.

“NOBODY NEEDS AR AR-15 TO HUNT DEER!!!”

Well guess what socialists…

DEER AREN’T BREAKING INTO SCHOOLS, BUSINESSES AND HOUSES AND SHOOTING AT THE PEOPLE WHO STUDY, WORK OR LIVE THERE!!!!!

We need guns to protect our lives, our families and our property FROM MANIACS AND A SOCIALIST, TYRANNICAL GOVERNMENT!!!

But…I repeat myself…

THE 2ND AMENDMENT SAYS:

“A WELL REGULATED MILITIA, BEING NECESSARY TO THE SECURITY OF A FREE STATE, THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS, SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.”

But…According to Homeland Insecurity…

“A WELL REGULATED MILITIA SHOULD RUN AWAY AND HIDE AND ONLY WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY…THROW SOMETHING AT THE BAD GUYS AND YELL, NEENER, NEENER…YA MISSED ME, YA MISSED ME NOW YA GOTTA KISS ME!!!”

Consider this:

THE SAME PEOPLE WHO SAID THE BEST WAY TO BRING DEMOCRACY TO EGYPT WAS TO GIVE THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD A SEAT AT THE TABLE…ARE NOW TELLING YOU THE BEST WAY TO KEEP YOU SAFE IS TO TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS!!!!!

They’ll probably want to take away the new BRASSTOWN POSSUM LAUNCHER NEXT!!!!!

Friends and Patriots…

Today is the last Friday of 2012 and…

HOLY COW…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!!

 

8 thoughts on “Friday Fume

  1. I’m surprised that lame-stream media even showed this “Chicago records 500th homicide of 2012″. Better take away all of the bats, knives and anything else that can be used as a weapon.

    Ratchell you forgot one Nancy Pelosi to use for the test firing. She’s just as bad as the other two.

  2. THANKS MUCH FER THE LAFFS N GAFFES THIS YEAR!!!

    Im votin fer a Congressional Cannon and Feinstein and Reid first to test it? :P

    MERRY NEW YEAR!!! :)

  3. Thank you so much for all of your “fumes” of 2012, Craig. I didn’t miss a one:).
    You made me laugh out loud with “missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me” line!
    My Obama era philosophy is “If you don’t laugh, you cry”, so I try to find the humor in an otherwise dire situation. A merry heart does good, like a medicine. So bless you for making us laugh at the insanity, while educating fools at the same time. it’s nice to have kindred spirits in times like these. Looking forward to FF’s in 2013:)

  4. Lots of information that I didn’t know, Craig! I’ll be waiting to hear if the ‘possum launcher was used on New Years Eve. Happy New Years Craig and Happy Friday Fume.

  5. Hysterical and oh so true!! What a mess we’re in – Have enjoyed this past year of your Friday Fumes; you always hit the nail on the head-God help us all!

    Happy New Year!

  6. LOL….love the pic of the ‘Deer Hunters’ and ALWAYS love the fumes! Gotta vent, right? Anyway, have a SAFE and Happy New Year, Craig….the very best to you and yours, hear?