I Was GOBSMACKED!!!

It was back in 1998.

We were in Lincoln Nebraska and I was in radio doing 2 live shows a day.

Our morning show was a free-wheeling top 40 show and great fun to be a part of.

It was the day after Thanksgiving and, as always, we got the show off with a newscast, some music and settled in.

That’s when my on-air partner, Jerry Balletta asked the seemingly simple question.

He look at me and at Kala and Liz, our co-hosts and asked:

“How was everybody’s Thanksgiving?”

We never talked before the show and never discussed topics or ideas. We always wanted things to be fresh. Spontaneous. No rehearsals, nothing planned in advance.

So, it was a simple question. Almost rhetorical. “How was everybody’s Thanksgiving?”

Kala and Liz spoke up. Everything was great. They ate too much, had fun, enjoyed some football…the standard rhetorical answers to the annual rhetorical question.

I…Had not said a word.

Jerry looked right at me and asked, “Craig? How ‘bout your Thanksgiving?”

My response…”TERRIBLE!”

Jerry NEARLY went on to something else but caught himself and in a startled, caught off-guard sort of way asked, “Terrible?? What was terrible about it???”

So, I related the story.

We had gone to my in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner and, as always, I was hungry and excited for turkey and all the trimmings.

I love Thanksgiving and always have. The smell of Turkey and stuffing, the tastes, the stories, laughter, everyone telling for what they are thankful.

But…Turkey…oh how I LOVE Thanksgiving turkey.

We walked through the front door and were met by the aroma of a meal in the making.

My first words upon entering my in-laws home were, “Boy oh boy am I ever ready for turkey!!!”

To which my mother in-law responded…

“We’re not HAVING turkey this year!”

What???

Say it ain’t so…

NO TURKEY???

I thought she was kidding. She wasn’t.

She proudly stated that she had prepared Prime Rib!!!

On Thanksgiving???

I was shocked. I went into instant depression. I was beside myself.

I was…

Gobsmacked.

When dinner was served, I stayed in the den and refused…REFUSED to partake.

Now look…I LOVE prime rib. I’ll eat prime rib 364 days a year.

NOT ON THANKSGIVING!!!

It was just too un-American for me and I could NOT bring myself to do it.

As I related the tale on the air, my cohorts will laughing hysterically. They were SURE I’d gone mad and they took my mother in-law’s side. But I was serious and I steadfastly held my ground.

The calls started pouring in. People were laughing at my gastronomic crash and burn and by the end of the show, I had well more than 100 offers of a turkey dinner at THEIR house NEXT Thanksgiving.

But this is NOT where the story ends.

The next morning, I was doing a remote broadcast from a hobby and craft store where people were coming in and offering again to host me for next year’s Thanksgiving and laughing at my sad tale of woe.

That is when Tracy, our station receptionist and the nicest person on earth walked into the store.

Tracy invited me to HER in-laws for Thanksgiving THAT DAY!!!

Tracy told me that her mother in-law always made enough turkey and fixings to feed an army and that she would be thrilled to have me as a guest.

Tracy was SAVING my Thanksgiving!!!

So…After the remote broadcast I hustled off to the address Tracy had provided and got there JUST as everyone was being seated.

They made me feel like a part of the family. Welcomed me with open arms. Such wonderful people.

I pulled up a seat and relishing the idea that my Thanksgiving has been rescued I was MORE than ready to dig in.

Tracy’s mother in-law emerged from the kitchen with a GIANT platter covered with a domed lid.

It was like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

We said grace.

And then, Tracy’s mother in-law stood…reached across the table…took hold of the handle of the domed platter cover and lifted it…

Revealing…

STUFFED PORK CHOPS!!!!!!!

I looked at Tracy and she was…

Shocked.

Beside herself.

She was…

Gobsmacked.

SHE HAD NO IDEA!!!

The first words out of Tracy’s mouth were…”ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”

She looked at me with a look of sheer terror in her eyes…”Craig…I swear…I didn’t know…REALLY!!!”

By now, her mother in-law, who had missed our Friday show, was more than confused and more than a little startled.

Friends…This was no coincidence.

There was no doubt in my mind that this was God’s way of teaching me a valuable lesson and for those who believe that God has no sense of humor…Think again.

The message was clear and I could only do what God compelled me to do at that point…Laugh at myself.

I looked at Tracy’s mother in-law and said…”Pass that platter over here. I haven’t eaten since Wednesday and I’m ready to surrender” which instantly brought a FIT of laughter from Tracy as she related to her mother in-law exactly WHY I had been invited to begin with!!!

My friends…It’s not what is on the table that really matters. It’s WHO is AT the table that matters.

Friends and family.

There are those less fortunate who don’t have a Thanksgiving meal or who are separated by distance and circumstance from those they care most about today.

What IS important is that we remember THEM.

As we sit down today we thank God for our blessings and ask that He bless others and we ask that he keep us safe and provide for those who have less than we.

We thank God for those who serve to protect us and we thank those who have done so before them.

THAT is what Thanksgiving is about but…

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD…

If you intend to serve something OTHER than turkey…HAVE THE COMMON DECENCY TO ISSUE ADVANCED WARNING!!!

Happy Thanksgiving my friends and today, I will thank God for YOU and all YOU do for this nation and for others.

3 thoughts on “I Was GOBSMACKED!!!

  1. We usually have prime rib…………. for Christmas!! But there is that slight difference that 45 miles makes between Lincoln and Omaha.

  2. Thanks for your wonderful Thanksgiving sentiments, Craig. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones!

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