Craig Andresen

Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on October 26, 2012 at 6:10 am

The liberal/socialist meltdown continues.

As Obama’s numbers continue to slide, the cheese continues to slip off the crackers of his adoring serfs.

Next week, liberal/socialists will be handing out pre-marked Obama mail in ballots and carrot sticks for Halloween and in New York City…the Frankenstorm will no doubt be blamed on George W. Bush.

THIS week however, their minds are melting faster than a Snickers bar on a Victoria’s Secret model!!!!

We’ve reached the end of another week and it’s now time to buckle up and take a look back.

Hang on friends…Today is Friday and…

I’m fuming!!!

Oh for GOD’S sake.

Last week, we FUMED about NASA spending a million bucks planning a menu for astronauts to order from…ON MARS….

Well…Now the greenie weenies are raising a royal ruckus over the possibility of a manned mission to mars…CONTAMINATING THE PLANET WITH HUMAN MICROBES!!!!!

Really?

As we’ve obviously left our microbial poo on the moon…AND IT’S STILL THERE…what exactly is the problem?

Well, the “Save Mars Microbes” lobby apparently thinks that IF there is any Marvin the Martian microbes already there…and OUR FLASH GORDON microbes get loose…THEY’LL MIX AND THE MARTIAN TREE HUGGERS DON’T WANT THAT!!!!

The obvious problem is…If Martian microbes start making out with ASTRONAUT microbes…In a few BILLION years…THEY’LL BE COMING HERE LOOKING FOR FREE CRAP LIKE…HEALTHCARE…BIRTH CONTROL…OBAMAPHONES….AND ENOUGH MONEY TO OPEN A SOON TO GO BANKRUPT SOLAR PANEL BUSINESS!!!!!

Here’s THEIR idea…Send a robot first to make sure there are NO signs of life and then…send people to that EXACT spot to…LOOK FOR SIGNS OF LIFE!!!

Naturally…I have a better idea.

Send LIBERALS to Mars.

Mars is already an icy planet so…global warming would not infringe on liberals way of life…would it? Al Gore could be there new Secretary of the Interior!

As there are no known caribou of moose on Mars, Sarah Palin would have no reason to grace liberal Martians with her presence.

Mars is WAY out of AM radio signal range making it a conservative radio talk-free zone

As liberals will be the only inhabitants, they should have no trouble controlling ALL aspects of whatever government they set up…No shores means no off-shore drilling to worry about and illegal immigration will no longer be a thorn in their collectivist state side BECAUSE THEY’LL BE THE ALIENS!!!!

Obama can be their KING and in NO TIME AT ALL…

THEY’LL HAVE THE PLACE LOOKING LIKE DETROIT!!!

THE WHOLE DAMNED PLANET IS SHOVEL READY!!!!!!!

Fuming.

Well, the PC police have sent their SWAT team to The University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill.

No longer can you call a freshman a freshman…IT’S NOW CONSIDERED…OFFENSIVE!!!!!

According to the asylum of higher knowledge administration…“We are committed to providing an inclusive and welcoming environment for all members of our community.”

“Freshman,” they say…IS SEXIST!!!!!!

“Consistent with that commitment, gender inclusive terms (chair; first year student; upper-level student, etc.) should be used on university documents, websites and policies.”

THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT OF THEIR LIBERAL/SOCIALIST MINDS!!!!

Here’s the folly of these idiots.

Woman.

That’s…woMAN isn’t it. They think woMEN are somehow offended by the word…freshMAN. Well, I guess that all the “first year” feMALES can finally walk down the sidewalk with a measure of pride.

Did these KNOT HEADED administrators even take into consideration that…UNC has a woMEN’S and GENDER STUDIES PROGRAM AT THEIR ASYLUM?????

Gee…I don’t know for sure but…THAT SEEMS PRETTY DAMNED SEXIST TO ME!!!!!!!!

Among the classes offered in the woMEN’S AND GENDER STUDIES PROGRAM AT UNC ARE…

“WoMEN, Art, and Activism in America,” “African American WoMEN in the Media,” WoMEN and Textile Production Across the Mediterranean” and “WoMEN and Film.”

FIRST…THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE THE NAME OF EACH OF THOSE CLASSES BECAUSE THEY ALL CONTAIN THE WORD…MEN AND THEN…

THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE PROGRAM BECAUSE…IT…HAS THE WORD “MEN” IN IT TOO!!!

THEN…JUST TO BE FAIR…THEY NEED TO DO AWAY WITH THE ENTIRE THING BECAUSE…IT’S ALL ABOUT 1 SEX AND EXCLUDES PERSONS WITH BELOW THE BELT PROTUBERANCES ALL TOGETHER!!!!!

Fuming!

Ummmm…Speaking of North Carolina….

There seems to be something…POSSIBLY…amiss with their voting machines there.

In Guilford County…Several machines are…defaulting. It seems that when voters hit the Romney button…the machines are registering the vote for…EMPEROR OBAMA!!!!

The Guilford County Board of Elections Director however, says it’s NO BIG DEAL…It can easily be fixed by having a POLL WORKER RECALIBRATE THE MACHINE!!!

Hmmmm…SEEMS TO ME LIKE SOMEBODY HAS ALREADY…FIXED…THOSE MACHINES!!!

Of course…that’s not the only problem in North Carolina’s voting right now.

ACCORDING TO THEIR VOTER ROLLS…NORTH CAROLINA HAS…

2214 VOTERS…OVER THE AGE OF 110 YEARS OLD!!!!!

What???

According to the latest census…THERE ARE ONLY 330 PEOPLE OVER 110 YEARS OLD IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY AND 2214 OF THEM ARE VOTING IN NORTH CAROLINA!!!!!!

That’s a nifty trick huh?

So far…214 of them have mailed in their ballots but…2000 OF THEM HAVE VOTED IN PERSON!!!!!

Here’s the deal…It seems that before 1960, when you registered to vote in North Carolina your date of birth was not required. All you had to do was state that you were over 18. Then, later, when things were computerized…NORTH CAROLINE PUT IN THE BIRTH DATES OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE AS 1-1-1900 AND PRESTO…NOW YOU HAVE ALMOST 3500 112 YEAR OLD VOTERS!!!!

It would appear to me that…IF PHOTO ID WERE REQUIRED TO VOTE…this could be completely cleared up.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOO…SOMEHOW…KNOWING WHO IS VOTING IS RACIST AND WE WOULD RATHER HAVE A SITUATION RIPE FOR VOTER FRAUD THAN KNOW THAT THOSE WHO ARE VOTING ARE WHO THEY CLAIM THEY ARE!!!!!

I’m Fuming!!

And finally….

In what may well be a “Dewey Defeats TruMAN” moment….

If you were in Phoenix a few weeks ago, watching The People’s Court to yourself feel better about YOUR lot in life…BECAUSE YOUR SISTER’S COUSIN’S BEST FRIEND DIDN’T STEAL YOUR MOTHER’S $2300 DOLLAR HAIR WEAVE AND HER FOOD STAMP CARD FROM HER LOUIS VUITTON PURSE IN THE BATHROOM AT THE WEEDING OF 2 FIRST GAY COUSINS…1 OF WHICH IS PREGNANT VIA UNSOLICITED INVITRO FERTALIZATION STEMMING FROM A DRUNKEN NIGHT OF PARTYING WITH A LAB TECHNICIAN…

Then YOU saw the RESULTS OF THE UPCOMING 2012 ELECTION!!!!!!

Well, there ya have it…straight from CBS…

THESE ARE THE SAME BOOB TUBE BOOBS WHO HAVE BEEN PROPPING UP THE EMPEROR FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS!!!

THEY HAVE IGNORED EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING THAT CASTS A NEGATIVE LIGHT ON HIS HIGHNESS’ HINEY LIKE FAST AND FURIOUS OR THE ENTIRE MES IN LIBYA BUT…SEVERAL WEEKS AHEAD OF THE ELECTION…THEY RUN A CRAWLER SHOWING THE FINAL RESULTS?????

When reporters tried to contact Phoenix Channel 5 regarding this…”NO COMMENT!!!!!”

MAYBE IT WAS ALL THE 112 YEAR OLDS IN NORTH CAROLINA THAT PUT THE EMPEROR OVER THE TOP!!!!

While people with intelligence…you know…CONSERVATIVES…all want to know…WTH???? The other segment of the population reacted somewhat differently.

CHRIS MATTHEWS GOT A TINGLE UP DAN RATHER’S LEG!!!!!!!

KPHO TV 5 — needs to change their tagline from… “telling it like it is”…to “MAKING CRAP UP!!!”

It’s a wonder that the on screen graphic didn’t cause RIOTS IN THE STREETS WITH RON PAULBOTS BURNING GARY JOHNSON VOODOO DOLLS AND RESULTING IN THE OBAMA CAMPAIGN ADMINISTRATION ARRESTING AND PERP WALKING THE CHANNEL 5 ON SCREEN GRAPHICS EDITOR!!!!!

WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A MAINSTREAM MEDIA AFFILIATE THAT COULDN’T FIND THEIR ASS WITH BOTH HANDS, A MIRROR AND A GPS UNIT AND SOMEHOW…THEY CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE?????

WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO HAPPEN AND IT’S UP TO US TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T!!!!!

Let’s just say I’m glad it’s Friday because…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!!

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2 Responses to “Friday Fume”

  1. Karen Goetz Says:

    Reading these Friday Fumes make my blood pressure rise because you take all of the things that have been driving me nuts all week and present them in a nice neat package of liberal loony tunes. I fume right along with you, Craig! Keep up the good work. we will get through this atrocity of an administration, but will still have a lot to do even if Romney wins, because the left will still be with us. Your Friday Fumes are relevant for years to come.

  2. LCH Says:

    You have no idea of how I look forward to your Friday Fumes! Thank you for making my week ;) You express it so well! Wonderful works! May the Dictator be OUT soon!