Craig Andresen

Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on October 19, 2012 at 6:10 am

Liberal/socialists are spinning faster than pulsars and, in what is becoming deeper and deeper desperation, the lies spewing from them are running down the walls all over the place.

While the Obama Campaign Administration tells their lies louder and faster than ever before…Romney just sticks to the facts and guess what? Romney is now leading the polls.

It’s harder now than ever before to keep up with the liberal/socialist manure spreaders but…I’m always game to try.

My Friends and fellow Patriots…

Today is Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Senator Coburn from Oklahoma has published his 2012 book of government waste.

Oh…It’s a page turner!!!

Every year, Coburn catalogs the wasteful spending of congress and puts it all out there for prying eyes.

Let’s see…

NASA spent $947 MILLION dollars developing…A MENU OF FOOD WE COULD EAT ON MARS!!!

Ummm…Really?

WE’RE NOT EVEN SENDING ASTRONAUTS INTO SPACE!!!!!

For that matter…Why not just put the same stuff on the menu that is on the menu at the Space Station???

WOULD THAT BE SO HARD???

Note to NASA…86 the menu and BUILD A ROCKET!!!!

Nebraska allocated $505,000 taxpayer money toward production of specialty shampoos, toothpaste and other beauty products for cats and dogs.

TOOTHPASTE???

CATS AND DOGS LICK THEIR OWN….

And we’re worried that they won’t be minty fresh???

I UNDERSTAND THE HARDEST PART OF THE WHOLE PROCESS IS TEACHING YOUR DOG TO HOLD THE TOOTHBRUSH!!!

Here Cujo…Here boy…Time to floss…

THAT’S not gonna end well…

Oh THIS is rich…

Turns out it costs about 2.1 cents to make…1 PENNY!!!

Well THERE’S some good thinking huh???

THE WAY GOVERNMENT WORKS…I WOULDN’T BE A BIT SURPRISED IF THE FED WAS “STIMULATING” THE ECONOMY BY MINTING $100 BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF PENNIES!!!!!

Freshly minted pennies, not to be confused with minty fresh cat teeth, ADDED $70 MILLION BUCKS TO THE DEFICIT IN 2012!!!!

While Obama is trying to fool everybody into thinking the economy is getting better…WE’RE LOSING MONEY BY…MAKING MONEY!!!!!

Oh goody…The National Science Foundation blew through $700,000 dollars on…A CLIMATE CHANGE MUSICAL FOR A NEW YORK THEATER COMPANY!!!

I suppose because AL GORE’S OLD SONG AND DANCE CLOSED AT INTERMISSION!!!

In case nobody noticed…We ALREADY have global warming musicals…HAPPY FEET AND HAPPY FEET 2!!!!

As soon as this stupid thing opens, I’m certain it will be the subject OF A WHOLE BUTT LOAD OF FRAUDULENT REVIEWS!!!!!

Now THAT’S a musical that might CAUSE global warming!!!!!!!

And of course…ROBO SQUIRREL!!!!!

$325,000 BUCKS TO INVENT A ROBOTIC SQUIRREL TO TEST THE INTERACTION BETWEEN RATTLE SNAKES AND…SQUIRRELS!!!

Guess what happened?

THE RATTLE SNAKE BIT THE ROBO SQUIRREL!!!

This of course proves 2 things.

1)      Rattle snakes bite squirrels.

2)      2) Rattle Snakes don’t know the difference between real squirrels and robo squirrels.

As if, how rodents and snakes interact is one of the most pressing questions afflicting mankind.  Here’s some breaking news…Rattle snakes will bite anything that gets close enough to bite.

MAYBE NEXT YEAR CONGRESS CAN FUND A $100 MILLION DOLLAR STUDY REGARDING THE INTERACTION BETWEEN MONKEYS AND FOOTBALLS BY ERECTING A GIANT MIRROR IN FRONT OF THE NEXT JOINT SESSION!!!

Fuming.

I don’t know about the rest of you but, I’ve had quite enough of liberal/socialists and their incessant whining about Mitt Romney’s wealth.

Let’s just put this in perspective using the new liberal/socialist mascot…BIG BIRD!!!

Mitt Romney’s net worth is…$250 million dollars.

Big Bird (and other assorted Sesame Street toys) bring in BETWEEN $150 – $200 MILLION DOLLARS…PER YEAR!!!!!!!

That means that every 14 months or so…SESAME STREET MAKES MORE MONEY THAT THE BIG BAD EVIL FAR TOO RICH MITT ROMNEY’S NET FINANCIAL WORTH!!!

Instead of frothing at the mouth about how much money Mitt makes…Liberal/socialists SHOULD BE SUBSIDIZING HIM!!!!!

HE’S A PAUPER COMPARED TO BIG BIRD!!!

Liberal/socialists wail and gnash there teeth over cutting out NPR because they only get $455 million dollars per year but let me explain something to the obviously BUDGET CHALLENGED…

YOU CUT ALL THE UNNECESSARY CRAP AND SEE WHERE YA ARE THEN YOU START LOOKING FOR WAYS TO LEAN THE MACHINE. NPR and Big Bird can fund themselves.

Every time I hear a liberal try to paint Ann Romney as out of touch because she wore a $2000.00 outfit, I think…THAT’S ABOUT 3 FEATHERS WORTH OFF THAT OVERGROWN COPACABANA COSTUME!!!

SESAME STREET IS THE RODEO DRIVE OF CHILDREN’S SHOWS AND THAT BIG FEATHERED BUFFOON IS A 1 PERCENTER!!!

I’m Fuming.

Okay…HERE’S what “LEADING FROM BEHIND” gets you…and it makes my blood boil.

Last night, on the “daily Show,” Stewart suggested that poor communications between government agencies may have led to public pronouncements that were, “not the optimal response.”

The Emperor then told John Stewart: “Here’s what I’ll say: If four Americans get killed, it’s not optimal. We’re going to fix it. All of it.”

IF??? Not optimal???

“NOT OPTIMAL???”

Let me explain a little something to this bellicose weasel.

Here’s what’s not optimal…

GOING TO VEGAS FOR A GLAD-HANDING FUND RAISER THE DAY AFTER 4 AMERICANS GET MURDERED IN A TERRORIST ATTACK…THAT’S “NOT OPTIMAL!!!”

LYING TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE BY TELLING THEM IT WAS BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID YOU TUBE VIDEO…THAT’S NOT OPTIMAL!!!

OFFERING NO EXPLANATION TO THE FAMILIES OF THE FALLEN AS TO HOW THEIR LOVED ONES WERE KILLED…THAT’S NOT…OPTIMAL!!!!

BLAMING THE VIDEO AT THE U.N. IS NOT…OPTIMAL!!!!!

STANDING THERE, IN FRONT OF THOSE CASKETS WHILE YOUR SECVRETARY OF STATE BLAMES THE VIDEO…THAT IS NOT OPTIMAL!!!!

REFERING TO WHAT HAPPENED AS…”BUMPS IN THE ROAD” IS CLEARLY…NOT OPTIMAL!!!!

And…Saying: “Here’s what I’ll say: If four Americans get killed, it’s not optima,”  IS SO FAR FROM OPTIMAL YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE OPTIMAL FROM THERE WITH THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE!!!!!

You’re gonna…FIX IT???

Really?????

“We’re going to fix it. All of it.”

I sure THAT will be a GREAT comfort to the FAMILIES OF AMBASSADOR STEVENS, SEAN SMITH, GLEN DOHERTY AND TYRON WOOD!!!!

YOU’RE GONNA “FIX” IT???

YOU CAN’T “FIX” IT. THEY’RE GONE!!!

YOU’RE TELLING US THAT YOU COULDN’T SEE IT COMING…AFTER 234 TERRORIST ATTACKS IN LIBYA OVER THE LAST 16 MONTHS…YOU COULDN’T SEE IT COMING AFTER 2 BOMBINGS AT OUR OWN CONSULATE IN BENGHAZI…YOU COULDN’T SEE IT COMING AFTER 2 ATTEMPTS ON THE LIFE OF THE BRITISH AMBASSADOR…YOU COULDN’T SEE IT COMING AFTER THE BRITS AND THE RED CROSS PULLED OUT OF BENGHAZI AND YOU COULDN’T SEE IT COMING ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF 9-11 BUT…YOU’RE GONNA “FIX” IT?????

I think the Emperor may be a little confused.

Obama: “I wasn’t confused about the fact that we needed to ramp up diplomatic security around the world right after it happened.”

THAT’S NOT THE ISSUE!!!

THE ISSUE IS…AFTER REPEATED REQUESTS FOR RAMPED UP DIPLOMATIC SECURITY IN LIBYA…BEFORE…IT HAPPENED…WHY DIDN’T YOU…”FIX IT” THEN?????

And then…THIS: “And what happens, during the course of a presidency, is that the government is a big operation and any given time something screws up.”

Now let me see if I have this straight…

First…you CLAIM that you called it an “act of terror” in the Rose Garden…after you called it, it that speech,  “An attack,” an “outrageous and shocking attack,” “brutal acts,” “this attack” and “senseless violence.”

Then, for more than 2 weeks…is was a You Tube video that caused it or…It was a “bump in the road.”

Then it was back to the You Tube video for a few days.

Suddenly it became a terrorist attack again and now…

IT’S A SCREW UP THAT’S NOT OPTIMAL??????

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT A NOT OPTIMAL SCREW UP REALLY IS…

YOU…GETTING ELECTED IN 2008…

But…

“WE’RE GONNA FIX IT” ON NOVEMBER 6TH!!!!!!!!!!!

Deep breath…Deep breath…

It’s a darn good thing it’s Friday because…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!!

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Responses to “Friday Fume”

  1. len Says:

    Remember in Clinton era it was SNAFU……………

  2. WhiteFalcon1 Says:

    “WE’RE GONNA FIX IT” ON NOVEMBER 6TH!!!!!!!!!!!…”

    Yes, We ARE!!!