The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the National Debt

You know all those statistics thrown about where…If you take all of something nobody gives a rip about, and laid them end to end, they’d stretch from point A to point B?

As an example: If you took all the women George Clooney has dated, and laid them end to end…

(Go ahead and make your own jokes about how tired you’d be)

They would reach from Malibu to Manhattan…Give or take a Stacy Keibler.

I hate those kinds of statistics but, it’s not going to stop me from using one in this article.

We’re talking about our national debt.

Staggering? Is that how you would describe it?

Maybe you have heard that our national debt is skyrocketing. It is you know. Maybe MORE than you know. Alarming? That’s another term you’ve probably heard.

No doubt you’ve heard something about a “fiscal cliff” during national debt discussions.

Oh…If ONLY that were the extent of it. It’s not of course but, we can dream can’t we?

In the next 24 hours, our national debt is going to slide right passed $16 trillion dollars. I know that’s a difficult number to wrap one’s head around. 16 trillion. Just so you know…That’s a 16, with 12 zeros behind it.

Before I get to my point A to point B statistic, there are a few little things you need to know about our growing national debt. I do hope you’re sitting down.

First of all…our national debt is not just YOUR money…It’s your kids money, and their kid’s money and, the kids of their kids and the kids of those kids too. It’s money we haven’t collected yet. We’re borrowing it from other countries and from the future generations of future generations of American taxpayers.

Okay, now then…Currently, we are adding to it at an alarming, skyrocketing, staggering “fiscal cliff” nearing rate.

We’re adding almost $6 million dollars to it…EVERY MINUTE.

Just like any loan, we have to pay interest on our national debt. I hate paying interest…YOU hate paying interest…But we DO have to pay it.

$500 BILLION dollars this year and, as that staggering, alarming, skyrocketing national debt grows, we have to pay a little bit more interest each and every year.

Charming, isn’t it?

Oh, HERE’S some great news…

According to the CBO, if the Bush tax cuts go away at the first of next year and IF the spending cuts kick in, the debt will only grow by $641 billion dollars rather than 1.1 TRILLION dollars BUT, the economy will slow down to the point that the nation will see unemployment rise to 9% and GDP growth will be in negative numbers resulting in another economic recession…And you KNOW what happens in an economic recession?

Yep…Our national debt starts growing faster all over again.


Sure, there are BIG things, like the stimulus, that drive up our national debt but, there are a bunch of small things too. Like the half million bucks of stimulus money spent on advertising with MSNBC on Obama’s green energy jobs training program.

Not a single job was created because of those ads.

And there is the reported $7.4 BILLION dollars of tax credits for ILLEGAL ALIENS thanks to a loophole that lets those NOT authorized to work (or live here for that matter) collect government…(did I say government?) I meant…TAXPAYER handouts.

Don’t even get me started on what Obamacare, the largest single tax hike in American history will do.

According to the CBO report gleefully handed out yesterday,For fiscal year 2012 (which ends on September 30), the federal budget deficit will total $1.1 trillion, CBO estimates, marking the fourth year in a row with a deficit of more than $1 trillion. That projection is down slightly from the $1.2 trillion deficit that CBO projected in March. At 7.3 percent of gross domestic product (GDP), this year’s deficit will be three-quarters as large as the deficit in 2009 when measured relative to the size of the economy. Federal debt held by the public will reach 73 percent of GDP by the end of this fiscal year—the highest level since 1950 and about twice the share that it measured at the end of 2007, before the financial crisis and recent recession…”

Notice how I did that in red ink?

So…the $1.1 TRILLION DOLLAR deficit is down from the “projected” $1.2 TRILLION DOLLAR deficit? Like we’re supposed to feel better about the amount of loose change beneath the couch cushions on Air Farce One???

And to think, Obama’s big plan is to hike taxes on the rich which, as the CBO points out, covers exactly 8 ½ days of government spending.

Golly…If only they would bailed out water with an eye dropper, the Titanic would be on the bottom of the north Atlantic today.

Okay…Here comes that point A to point B thing.

If you’re already sitting down, get a tight grip on a stiff drink.

If you were to take our $16 with 12 zeros behind it national debt, in $1 dollar bills…And lay them end to end…

Listen…I had to get out my abacus to do this…

How far do you think they would stretch?

From New York to L.A.?

Guess again.

Half way around the world? ALL the way around the world???

Baby steps.

How about from earth to the moon?

Not even close but you could make 99 round trips to the moon and back…JUST TO COVER THE DISTANCE OF THIS YEAR’S INTEREST PAYMENT.

$16 TRILLION dollars, in $1 dollar bills laid end to end would take you from your front door…

Passed Mars, Saturn and Jupiter…ALL THE WAY TO URANUS…Give or take a Solyndra loan.

(I know but really, it’s no laughing matter)

Think of it this way.

If you were launched in a skyrocket and traveled an alarming 25,000 miles per hour…It would take you a staggering 8 years to cover our national debt.

Just remember…

In space…Nobody can hear you scream.