Craig Andresen

Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on August 10, 2012 at 7:11 am

And so, we’ve all survived another week. It’s been a long week of liberal lies and insanity but the more they talk, the deeper the hole they’re digging themselves into.

It seems that, more and more, all we have to do to counter their inane behavior is use their own words!!

Let’s all sit back, take a deep breath, grab a beverage and have at it!!!

It’s FRIDAY my friends and…

I’m fuming.

If you were to ask the Emperor if HE knows the definition of the word, “Truth” he would most likely tell you that he does.

That would, of course, be a lie.

There he was, the Lyin’ King, spewing forth another load of bull in Mansfield Ohio when he stated, with great certainty…

“And you do not have to take my word for it. (Fat chance…) Just today, an independent, non-partisan organization ran all the numbers on Governor Romney’s plan. This wasn’t my staff. This wasn’t something we did. Independent group, ran the numbers.”

He was…LYING!!!

He was referring to, “On The Distributional Effects Of Base-Broadening Income Tax Reform,” which, in and of itself is a pack of lies.

Ya see…That “study” was written by…Samuel Brown, William Gale, and Adam Looney….OKAY?

Ummmm…The “Looney” of Brown, Gale and Looney…Being “Independent, non-partisan and not a part” of Obama’s staff is actually…The one and ONLY Looney who was the senior economist for public finance and tax policy on Obama’s Council of Economic Advisers and has been an economist at the Federal Reserve Board!!!

And…

Gale, well…HE is a good solid friend of the Obama white house…Taking part in TIMMY GEITNER’S “Fiscal Responsibility Summit” about 3 years ago.

Ummm…Did I happen to mention the “Independent and non-partisan” Gale, of Brown, Gale and…LOONEY has visited the Obama white house…12 TIMES??????

Well, he has.

So…Independent, huh?

Non-partison…Really???

And Obamacare isn’t a tax…his birth certificate is proof that he was born in Hawaii…Romney caused a woman to die of cancer…He doesn’t know anything about Fast and Furious…He’s the 4th greatest president in history…He wrote his own autobiography…He got bin Laden…The private sector’s doin’ fine… He didn’t really know Ayers or Rev Wright…He created or save 4 million jobs…We’re movin’ in the right direction…The stimulus worked…You can keep your doctor…Obamacare is not a tax...”I’ll cut the deficit in half by the end of my first term”“If You’ve got a business – You didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen” and the all-time BIGGEST WHOOPER…“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States!!!!!!!”

NOBODY with an OUNCE of common sense would believe one single word that comes from the Emperor’s MOUTH, which explains why liberals DO!!!

Fuming.

Oh…THIS is gonna work….

The Department of Homeland Insecurity has unveiled a…

VIRTUAL BORDER GUARD…At the border in Nogales Arizona!!!

Because of the Emperor’s decree regarding “DREAMERS” we have virtually NO illegal aliens anymore so…I have NO IDEA what the purpose of a VIRTUAL border guard might be.

It’s a computer generated face on a KIOSK and it’s supposed to, “provide expedited travel for pre-approved, low-risk travelers through dedicated lanes and kiosks.”

What it amounts to is that TOLL GATE IN “BLAZING SADDLES!!!!”

Here’s the BEST part…

THE KIOSK WILL BE MONITORED BY A LIVING BREATHING AGENT!!!

Ummm…This means that should an ILLEGAL ALIEN with a FAST AND FURIOUS weapon try to sneak through in Nogales…THE REAL LIFE AGENT, UNDER ORDERS FROM THE DHS and ORDER IS-907…ARE REQUIRED TO RUN AWAY AND HIDE!!!!

In FACT…ACCORDING TO THAT ORDER…ONLY AS A LAST RESORT ARE THE AGENTS EVEN ALLOWED TO…THROW OBJECTS…AT THE SHOOTER!!!

LIKE WHAT EXACTLY???THEIR DEPARTMENT OF INSECURITY ISSUED WHITE FLAGS OF SURRENDER?????

Of course, on the off chance there are no weapons involved…THE REAL LIFE AGENTS ARE NOW UNDER ORDERS NOT TO EFFECT AN ARREST!!!!!

Note to Janet “The-border-is-safer-now-than-it’s-ever-been” Napolitano: HELLO, McFLY!!! THE ONLY PEOPLE COMING THROUGH THE OFFICIAL BORDER CROSSINGS ARE THE PEOPLE WITH OFFICIAL PAPERS TO BEGIN WITH!!!

Now…given this new kiosk and orders to run and hide…Let these words from the Secretary of Homeland Surrender grace your ears:

TERRORISTS COME ACROSS THE MEXICAN BORER FROM TIME TO TIME?????

By all MEANS I HOPE THEY ENJOY THE DAMNED KIOSK!!!!!

I’m Fuming!!

Well, well…Not even the OLYMPICS will stay the liberal/socialist Christianity hating media from attacking an athlete.

This week, the NEW YORK TIMES and their sports hack…JERE LONGMAN decided to go after Lolo Jones.

Jones is on London competing in track and LONGMAN had THIS to say: “Jones has received far greater publicity than any other American track and field athlete competing in the London Games. This was based not on achievement, but on her exotic beauty and on a sad and cynical marketing campaign. Essentially, Jones has decided she will be whatever anyone wants her to be — vixen, virgin, victim — to draw attention to herself and the many products she endorses.”

Why?

BECAUSE LOLO IS A CHRISTIAN WITH VALUES WHO HAS NO ISSUE TELLING THE WORLD THAT SHE’S A VIRGIN!!!

THAT’S WHY!!!!!

Nothing irritates a liberal/socialist more than SOMEONE WITH STRONG CHRISTIAN MORALS THAT KIDS MIGHT LOOK UP TO!!!!!

Lolo Jones grew up poor, living with her family in the basement of a church. Over the years, she has marketed herself and track has taken her around the world.

Lolo Jones is now an INDUSTRY and guess what liberals…SHE BUILT THAT INDUSTRY THROUGH HARD WORK AND SELF RESPECT!!!

But…How else can the liberal/socialists POSSIBLY drag society down their rat hole if they don’t DEMONIZE those with strong values and PROMOTE those with NO values???

I’m FUMING!!

And finally, we have a case of crocodile tears from the Whiner in Chief.

“If things continue as they have so far, I’ll be the first sitting president in modern history to be outspent in his reelection campaign.”

Oh boo hoo……

The Emperor, who promised a BILLION DOLLAR CAMPAIGN is now BEGGING FOR MONEY!!!!

It seems Romney is our fund raising this IDIOT who has, so far, attended 200 FUND RAISERS!!!!!

One email sent by the begging Obama team was titled, “Nightmare” and stated, “If we don’t fight back, it’ll be over long before November.”

OTHER EMAILS ARE BEGGING PEOPLE TO…NOT…BUY SOMEONE A WEDDING GIFT BUT INSTEAD…SEND THE MONEY TO OBAMA!!!

On the Obama/Biden campaign website is THIS nugget:

“Let your friends know how important this election is to you. Instead of another gift card you’ll forget to use, ask your friends and family for something that will go a little further: a donation for Obama for America.”

LOOK…WE KNOW THIS FOOL HAS NO SHAME BUT…HOLY COW!!!

REALLY?????

HAS THE GEORGE CLOONEY ATM RUN DRY???

DID ANNA WINTOUR DECIDE SHE NEEDED A NEW PAIR OF SHOES?????

Last week, the Emperor celebrated his 51st birthday but…before he played his 104th round of golf while his subjects ate cake…O-BOO-HOO-AMA ISSUED A SNIVELING PLEA…

“My upcoming birthday next week could be the last one I celebrate as president…”

Excuse me if I don’t get all choked up.

So far…the Imperial BUTT HEAD has BLOWN THROUGH $400 MILLION DOLLARS and guess what…IT’S ALL OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY AND NOW HE’S BEGGING FOR MORE!!!!!

Shocking right?

IT SEEMS WE’VE FINALLY FOUND THE 1% THAT ISN’T PAYING THEIR FAIR SHARE…THEY’RE THE ONES WHO POURED CASH INTO BOO-HOO’s 2008 CAMPAIGN!!!!!!!

HE PROMISED HOPE AND NOW HE’S BEGGING FOR SPARE CHANGE!!!!!!!!

You KNOW what’s coming don’t ya?

OBAMA WILL OFFER DEAD BIN LADEN POST CARDS…2 FOR A DOLLAR…AND HE’LL EMAIL THEM TO YOU BECAUSE THE POST OFFICE IS BROKE!!!!!!!

Look, if this guy’s already running FALSE ADS accusing Romney of felonies and implicating him in a woman’s death from cancer…HE’LL STOP AT NOTHING!!!!!

But…The rock star of the 2008 campaign is now a distant memory. He can’t run on his record and he’s burning through money at an incredible rate to launch lie after vile lie only to be reduced to BEGGING FOR  PEOPLE’S WEDDING AND BIRTHDAY GIFT MONEY TO FUND MORE AND MORE VILE LIES!!!

I can’t WAIT for the day we see him in the driveway of a WALMART holding a sign that reads, “WILL IGNORE THE CONSTITUTION FOR FOOD!!!!!”

My fellow Patriots…Today is FRIDAY and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!!

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4 Responses to “Friday Fume”

  1. Tarmangani Says:

    Obama has even gone as far as an app that will show where all of the democrats are. My first thought was of Professor Xavier locating all of the mutants. But it comes down to a scary thought. Once you have the locations of all registered democrats you have the ability to send buses around to pick them up and take them to vote. I am thinking that the bus driver may be somewhat bewildered when he has to visit so many cemetaries in Chicago.

  2. Ratchell Says:

    You forgot one…The $435.00 Democratic vote…..:P

  3. Eva Kolosiek Says:

    Roflmao! Yup, pity the fool who has to haul all the caskets & Urns to the polling stations! Wonder where all the recently dead dictators & terrorists will be casting their votes!?! Of course, Bin Laden may be pissed enough about that whole watery grave thing that he holds out, but ya just never can be sure about some things. Shucks, for all we know, he could be living it up in Vegas now that he doesn’t have to wear that sillycostume to project a certain image. At this point, NOTHING can surprise me!

  4. Mary B Says:

    Probably one of your best rants to date.
    Are you aware ovomit’s asking Ohioans for dirt on Rob Portman?