Craig Andresen

Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on May 11, 2012 at 7:17 am

Here we are again, at the end of yet another week. While we would like to report that there has been no liberal stupidity this week…

We can’t.

This week, like last week and all the others has been plumb FULL of it.

According to Ron White, “You can’t fix stupid” and who, after all, am I to argue with Ron White? While we can’t fix it, we CAN report ON it and we shall.

It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Over in France this week…THEY ELECTED A SOCIALIST AS THEIR PRESIDENT!!!

Good grief…CAN’T THEY SEE IT’S NOT WORKING OUT FOR US???

Ummmmm…The only difference would be in France…DEMOCRATS are called SOCIALISTS and over here…SOCIALISTS are called DEMOCRATS!!!

Now, if you call a Democrat a socialist to his or her face…THEY WILL DENY IT AND START SWEARING LIKE SAILORS…but….

The White House issued THIS statement: “President Obama indicated that he looks forward to working closely with Mr. Hollande and his government on a range of shared economic and security challenges.”

YOU CANNOT “SHARE” ECONOMIC CHALLENGES UNLESS YOU’RE BOTH SOCIALISTS!!!

And how exactly does Francois Hollande intend to meet HIS challenges?

HOLLENDE HAS CALLED FOR MORE SPENDING, FINANCED BY MORE TAXES!!!!! SOUND FAMILIAR???

If it walks like a French duck and QUACKS like a French duck….

IT’S A LAME DUCK SOCIALIST!!!!!!!

So far, Obama has invited Hollande to Camp David for the G-8 Summit and Chicago for the NATO Summit and to the White House…WHERE THEY WILL PROBABLY EXCHANGE MAO CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS!!!

For HIS part, Hollende said, “I am proud to have been capable of giving people hope again.” What…NO CHANGE???? Hollande intends to modify one of Sarkozy’s key reforms, over the retirement age, to allow some people to retire at 60 instead of 62. He also plans to increase spending in a range of sectors and wants to ease France off its dependence on nuclear energy. He favors legalizing euthanasia and gay marriage.

For those who don’t speak the language…EUTHANASIA IS THE FRENCH WORD FOR…OBAMACARE!!!!

Fuming!

Okay… Global warming. One of the questions I have had and asked liberals to answer is this: If WE are the cause of global warming because we drive cars and use hairspray…What exactly is the reason for the Earth going through advancing and receding ice ages?

THEY HAVE NO ANSWER FOR THAT!!!

Now, we are discovering, global warming may well go much further back in time than the ice ages.

Dinosaurs.

Yep…Dinosaurs may have been, in part, responsible for their own demise due to dino-caused global warming.

It seems that DINOS who were plant eaters…WERE IN DIRE NEED OF SOME BEANO!!!

According to Dave Wilkinson of Liverpool John Moores University, “A simple mathematical model suggests that the microbes living in sauropod dinosaurs may have produced enough methane to have an important effect on the Mesozoic climate.”

DINO FARTS!!!!!!!

GASASAURES…BRONTOFARTASAURES…TRICERIFARTS…BUTT BLASTERS ALL…BREAKING WIND AND PUMPING METHANE INTO THE ATMOSPHERE!!!

This actually explains quite a bit.

Al Gore is spewing methane hither and yawn AND BLAMING EVERYBODY ELSE FOR IT!!!

Frankly, the fact that dinosaurs farted is exactly the reason the elevator wasn’t invented until 236 B.C. and lighters weren’t invented before the opposable thumb.

According to the research, dino farts would have amounted to some, “470-500 million tonnes per year.”

“Indeed, our calculations suggest that these dinosaurs could have produced more methane than all modern sources – both natural and man-made – put together.”

If the global warming didn’t kill em THE SMELL WOULD HAVE!!!

This of course means…SCRAWNY, PASTY LIBERAL VEGETARIANS ARE MORE RESPONSIBLE FOR POLLUTING THE ATMOSPHERE THAN ANYBODY ELSE UNLESS THEY DRIVE A VOLT…IN WHICH CASE…THEY’RE BALANCING OUT THEIR CARBON FARTPRINT!!!

Fuming???

Judge Michael Urbanski, in Giles County Virginia, has suggested that the first 4 Commandments be removed at a local high school leaving the last 6 in place to settle an ACLU law suit.

Huh???

Okay…First, the 10 Commandments were displayed at the school and guess who complained? THE FREEDON FROM RELIGION WHACKOS!!! So…the school took them down.

THAT’S WHEN MORE THAN 200 PISSED LOCAL RESIDENTS SHOWED UP AT A SCHOOL BOARD MEETING DEMANDING THEY BE PUT BACK IN PLACE!!!

So…The school board…PUT THEM BACK UP AS PART OF A HISTORICAL DISPLAY INCLUDING THE BILL OF RIGHTS AND THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!!!

That, of course, is when a single student, ALLEGEDLY filed a law suit and the ACLU got involved. THE COMMANDMENTS ARE PART OF THE SCHOOL CURRICULUM!!!

And NOW…Judge Urbanski…SAYS WHY NOT JUST TAKE OUT THE 4 THAT MENTION GOD AND LEAVE THE REST???

WHAT IS THIS DOOFUS SMOKING???

THE 10…COMMANDMENTS…ARE A SET!!!

And oh yeah…THE 10…NOT 6…COMMANDMENTS ARE ON DISPLAY AT THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT!!! This, naturally, IS THE WAY LIBERAL/SOCIALISTS WANT TO TREAT THE CONSTITUTION!!! Just take out the parts they don’t want anybody to see.

Instead of asking why the 10 Commandments can’t be cut down to 6…WHY NOT ASK HOW HAVING THEM ALL ON DISPLAY ESTABLISHES A RELIGION FORCED UPON THE PEOPLE BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND WHAT THE PUNISHMENT IS IF YOU DON’T ADHERE TO IT??? YOU CAN’T ESTABLISH A RELIGION IF THERE IS NO ENFORCEMENT OF IT YOU MORONS!!!

I’m FUMING!!!

Finally…THE UNITED NATIONS HAS A RECOMMENDATION…

A wing nut from their Human Rights Council has recommended that…MOUNT RUSHMORE BE GIVEN BACK TO THE INDIANS!!!

Is this the same United Nations which hands a seat ON the HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL TO…IRAN???

Yeah…thought so.

Look…NOBODY can accurately argue that the Indians didn’t get SCREWED…they did…The Supreme Court said the Indians have to be compensated BUT THEY TURNED DOWN THE MONEY…and instead…want the land back.

James Anaya, the UN special rapporteur on the rights of indigenous peoples, says, “I’m talking about restoring to indigenous peoples what obviously they’re entitled to and they have a legitimate claim to in a way that is not divisive but restorative.”

Here’s a question…WHERE WOULD IT STOP???

MAYBE A BETTER QUESTION IS…WHERE SHOULD IT START?????

Seems to ME that MANHATTAN was Indian land…AND ISN’T THAT WHERE THE UNITED NATIONS RESIDES NOW??? SHOULD WE START BY HANDING THAT PLOT OF LAND BACK TO THE INDIANS AND LET THE INDIANS CONTROL IT????

We have compensated Indians and they HAVE accepted money for some lands…are THEY willing to give us back the money in exchange for land?

PROBABLY NOT!!!

ARE THEY WILLING TO GIVE UP THE CASINOS FOR LAND???

I’LL BET NOT!!!!

This U.N. YAHOO also says we should GIVE BACK THE SAN FRANSISCO PEAKS IN ARIZONA.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT…MOUNT RUSHMORE…A TOURIST DESTINATION AND THE SAN FRANSISCO PEAKS…WHERE THERE’S A SKI RESORT JUST OUTSIDE OF FLAGSTAFF…

LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE U.N. WANTS TO HAND OVER PARTS OF THE U.S. THAT HAVE BEEN DEVELOPED INTO NATIONAL MONUMENTS AND MONEY MAKING ENTERPRISES…

Of course, OBAMA met with this dweeb BUT NOT A SINGLE MEMBER OF CONGRESS DID…WHICH NO DOUBT MAKES THIS U.N RAPPORTUER FEEL EXACTLY LIKE AN OBAMA BUDGET PROPOSAL!!!

Here’s the thing…

IF NOT FOR A MOUNTAIN CARVED WITH THE FACES OF 4 UNITED STATES PRESIDENTS…NOBODY WOULD BE GOING TO THE BLACK HILLS AND THE INDIANS PROBABLY WOULDN’T REALLY BE ALL THAT INTERESTED IN IT!!! THE GOLD THAT WAS THERE IS GONE!!!

ONLY THE U.N. WOULD ADVOCATE GIVING MOUNT RUSHMORE BACK TO THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES OVER HERE AND AT THE SAME TIME, TAKE LAND AWAY FROM THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES IN ISRAEL!!!!

HERE’S AN IDEA…LET THE INDIANS HOLD THEIR SACRED CEREMONIES AT MOUNT RUSHMORE NATIONAL MONUMENT AND THEN THE ACLU CAN SUE ‘EM FOR ESTABLISHING A RELIGION ON FEDERAL PROPERTY!!!

Oh…man…

It’s Friday…and…

I AM FUMING!!!!!

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2 Responses to “Friday Fume”

  1. Call Me Mom Says:

    “Carbon Fartprints” ROTFL! Thanks, that was a good one.

  2. Larry White Says:

    Fuming heps!…unless, of course it is Dinosour farts – spelling erro intended.
    I am a new fan thanks to a forwarding friend of your April 18, 2012 Standing etc.

    So, here’s the deal. Love your style, your perspective, my politics and if you see imitators out there…I may be one.
    Thanks Craig
    Larry