Clear the Halls because I’m Fuming,
Fa la la la la. La la la la.
Liberal Fools are Out There Looming
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
WELCOME to the Friday before Christmas. There’s nog in the fridge, lights on the tree, packages to wrap, Jesus to celebrate and…
Before we get to all that…
If you think sending your kids to a pricey private school will keep them from the indoctrination clutches of LIBERAL IDIOTS…
In a small town, just north of our nation’s birth place, is where you’ll find, George School. It’s a Quaker high school where tuition rates RANGE FROM $31,000.00 TO $45,000.00 PER YEAR!!!
The George School put on their annual Christmas play last week and oh boy…guess what???
OCCUPY THE NORTH POLE!!!
“But little did Santa know that far and beyond, a steady drumbeat—yes, a movement—was swelling, and the masses were organizing, and the dispossessed were finding their strength and their voices and their power to declare, “We are one, and we’re not gonna take this anymore!” Occupy North Pole was born.”
It goes on…
“The shop was sitting on a potential oil field…using eminent domain laws, Santa’s workshop was closed. The elves’ work was outsourced, and the elves lost their jobs. A multinational conglomerate took over the shop and the making and distribution of the toys and instituted strict rules for visits. An independent consulting firm was hired to do background checks on children in order to determine who was naughty or nice.”
Oh there was singing and dancing and LIBERAL LUNKHEADEDNESS ON DISPLAY THROUGHOUT THE PERFORMANCE!!!
The Dance and Religion instructor at George School, Barbara Kibler, came up with this whole stupid thing and that begs a question…WHAT RELIGION IS SHE TEACHING? THE RELIGION OF LIBERAL IDEOLOGY?????
The whole “OCCUPY A PORT-A-POTTY BEFORE YOU HAVE A MOVEMENT” MOVEMENT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE 99% AGAINST THE 1%…RIGHT???
Guess what Kibler, you liberal drip…Your students PARENTS are paying between 31k and 45k every year to have YOU indoctrinate THEIR kids…
THEY ARE THE 1 % YOU MORON!!!!!
Kinda makes ya wonder what she’s planning for NEXT year doesn’t it?
AN ELF UNION DEMANDING COLLECTIVE BARGAINING RIGHTS? PETA DEMANDING THE REINDEER BE REPLACED BY 8 CHEVY VOLTS?? SANTA GETTING HIS SACK OF GOODIES GRABBED BY TSA BEFORE HE GETS IN HIS SLEIGH?????
One thing is abundantly clear…
THERE ARE NO WISE MEN AT GEORGE SCHOOL!!!!!
This simply DEFIES explanation. In Bellevue Washington…WHO exactly delivers CHRISTMAS packages?
YES ON BOTH COUNTS!!!!
Look, we all know, at the busiest time of the year, even SANTA could use a little help and the rest of the year…the UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE NEEDS ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET!!!
Bob McClean is a postal carrier and one of Santa’s best friends. For the last 10 years, Bob, during the CHRISTMAS season, has borrowed one of Santa’s extra suits and has worn it to deliver the mail.
And why NOT? It spreads smiles and a little cheer to those whose boxes he stuffs with mail and to those who open the door to receive packages.
Oh but guess who ELSE apparently works at the Bellevue post office???
Some BONE HEAD who HATES anything CHRISTMAS…ONE OF BOB McCLEAN’S COWORKERS….COMPLAINED!!!
So…the post office in Bellevue, like a good little BIG GOVERNMENT OPERATION…told Santa Bob to…GET RID OF THE SANTA SUIT!!!
Ernie Swanson, a postal service mouthpiece said, “My understanding is that one of the other carriers in the Bellevue Post Office said something about the fact that wearing a Santa suit didn’t meet the dress code of letter carriers.”
So…why exactly IS there a dress code Ernie???
“You’re supposed to wear the uniform, so you’re recognizable, so people have faith and trust and confidence in their carrier.”
WISE UP ERNIE!!!
IS SANTA NOT RECOGNIZABLE??? DO PEOPLE NOT HAVE FAITH IN SANTA??? CAN PEOPLE NOT TRUST SANTA???
I’m about to let the failing U.S Postal Service in on a little secret…shhhhhhh…..pssssttt….guess what???
MOST PEOPLE TRUST SANTA TO DELIVER THEIR MAIL FAR, FAR MORE THAN THEY TRUST THE USPS TO DO IT!!!!!!!
All was NOT lost however…
Customers, both residential and business, who have for a decade, looked forward to seeing Santa deliver their mail, descended on the Bellevue post office like a gaggle of angry elves and DEMANDED THAT McCLEAN BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE TO WEAR THE JOLLY SUIT ON HIS ROUNDS!!!!
But…like any government entity…the Bellevue post office tried to get in the last word by making it CLEAR…
SANTA BOB CAN ONLY WEAR THE SUIT THROUGH THE END OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!
Ummmm….THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!!!!
THAT’S LIKE TELLING A PLOT HE’S ALLOWED TO KEEP HIS PLANE IN THE AIR UNTIL HE LANDS!!!!!
Finally, we head to North Korea where, just a week before he keeled over and died, Kim Jong Ill Tempered released a statement threatening those on South Korea saying…NORTH KOREA COULD NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN SHOULD CHRISTMAS DISPLAYS BE VISIBLE ALONG THE DEMILITARIZED ZONE!!!
This is the most likely reason why CLARK GRISWOLD NEVER TOOK HIS CHRISTMAS VACATION NEAR THE 38th PARALLEL!!!!!!
Then, of course, the little tyrant dictator who was responsible for the deaths of millions of his own people DIED last week, joining the likes of Saddam Hussein, Gadaffi and bin Laden IN A PLACE WHERE yule logs…and everything else is on fire 24/7-365…AND GUESS WHO COULDN’T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE???
JIMMY PEANUT BRAIN CARTER!!!
Our former WORST PRESIDENT EVER…decided the best thing to do…
WAS TO SEND A LETTER OF CONDOLENCE TO THE SPAWN OF IL!!!!!!!!
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS??? HE’LL BE MISSED??? CAN WE BRING A CASSEROLE???
WHAT IN THE HELL????
Now, of course, before you start thinking THIS IS AN ISOLATED MOMENT OF DUMB BUTTEDNESS…
OUR STATE DEPARTMENT SENT A LETTER OF CONDOLENCE TO THE FAMILY OF AL AWLAKI AFTER WE DRONED THAT TERRORIST INTO A DOLLOP OF GOO ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL!!!!!
Seriously…Nobody is shedding a tear over the death of this brutal dictator.
EVEN THE MASSES OF PEOPLE IN NORTH KOREA WHO WERE ORDERED TO CARRY ON AND PITCH A FIT AFTER THE DEMISE WAS ANNOUNCED WEREN’T ABLE TO GET A SINGLE DROP OF SALINE TO EMANATE FROM THEIR DUCTS!!!!
But old Jimmy Carter SENDS HIS CONDOLENCES TO THE IL MANNERED FAMILY????
Here’s what SHOULD have been done.
WE SHOULD HAVE SENT ABOUT A HUNDRED OF THOSE COMPUTER CONTROLLED DANCING CHRISTMAS LIGHT DISPLAYS OVER TO SOUTH KOREA TO BE ERECTED WITHIN 1 FOOT OF THE DMZ PLAYING JOY TO THE WORLD WHICH COULD BE SEEN FROM SPACE!!!!!!
I can’t be the only one who fully believes CARTER IS ONLY A FEW MONTHS AWAY FROM SENDING NETANYAHU A CANNED HAM FOR PASSOVER!!!!
The people of North Korea are not allowed internet access AND JIMMY CARTER IS SOMEHOW MORE OUT OF TOUCH THEN THEY ARE!!!
Of one thing we can be certain…WITH HUSSEIN, BIN LADEN, AL AWLAKI, GADAFFI AND IL ALL BURNING FOR ETERNITY, CARTER’S FACEBOOK FRIENDS LIST IS GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER!!!
Yes friends…It IS Friday and…
I AM FUMING!!!!!!